[ i forgot every location in chasma but that's okay
it's a fresh week in the city of ankheen! lu bixing's fresh weeks in each of these new locations have all gone roughly the same - he bounds around the city at approximately 100mph, gets to know the whole location, befriends as many locals as he can (his glee in otamo upon realizing there were locals to get to know was unmatched) and drags lin jingheng all over the place to explore.
since it is a monday evening, and lu bixing has (unfortunately) (tragically) (miserably) not woken up in the same bed as lin jingheng (he'll find a way to rig this randomizing system yet), he's going to find him in one of the houses. one of lin jingheng's housemates lets him in, and in the evening, there is a bright, three-tap knock on lin jingheng's door that sounds awfully familiar.
beside him sits andromeda, her tail swishing from side to side against the floor. lu bixing's tail would also be swishing side to side against the floor, if it could. he has Plans. ]
[ eurymedon's head lifts before lin jingheng's does as the rapping assaults the door of their room. he squints at it before pulling himself up out of the chair, having to redo two buttons on his shirt. the heat is nagging, sticks to his skin constantly, and like a stone, eurymedon drops from his shoulder and shifts like a shadow into his sleek leopard form.
he'll open the door. especially as eury weaves around his legs, bumping and growling softly before standing patiently and still as stone as they stand before their company.
lu bixing stands there like a beacon, brighter than the sunlight that had streamed through his window. ]
You're early.
[ lin jingheng had assumed lu would make his rounds, then come see him. he can function well enough without zhanlu but he wishes he didn't have to.
[ eurymedon is so beautiful. so regal! eurymedon is immediately getting licked in the face, as andromeda breaks right out of that sitting position and bounds over to greet him, gleeful, tail wagging a hundred miles an hour.
lu bixing beams at eurymedon, and then right back up at lin jingheng. beautiful lin jingheng, who looks so, so pretty in this lighting, it's really just not fair? he and eury are really the most perfect pair in the world. it's not quite zhanlu, but, it's still nice, and lu bixing's whole day is immediately a little brighter just to be spending time with him.
he leans on the doorframe on one arm, in a way that he hopes is very attractive, and waves a hand. ] Ah, I am, I am. I had an idea, Commander Lin! I've made us some evening plans. Are you free? You're free, aren't you?
[ asked in the way that suggests "well, if you aren't free, you should be free now". andromeda prances around eury once she's finished her initial greeting, making little whoof noises. ]
[ lin jingheng considers this, all the while eury chuffs and nuzzles up against andromeda's side, long tail curling around her as he pushes his face into her fur. eventually he waves a hand and steps backwards into his room. the invitation is silent and it isn't long before eury acknowledges lu bixing with a soft flick of the tail and a tip of his head before he stalks to lu jingheng's side.
he perches himself by a window ledge meant for extra seating, arms folded.
i should say i am just to teach you a lesson.
but he does not. ]
What idea did you have? [ frowns. so straightforward. ]
[ yay! his face lights up a little, and he trots in after him immediately - though he pauses with a cheerful- ] Good evening, Eury. Looking very handsome today. [ - and greets his daemon with the same warmth that he greets his person. he'd love to be able to pet eury someday, but for now, he blows him a kiss.
andromeda seems deeply content with the attention, tail wagging happily, and she follows eury to trot in a circle around lin jingheng and sit down by his feet while lu bixing talks. ] Well, dinner, of course. I'm sure you haven't eaten.
[ because like, obviously. he knows this about jingheng. no nutrition syringes here to keep him eating absolutely nothing. in a way, bixing is a little glad, if only because it means that he can make sure that lin jingheng gets to eat better things, gets to enjoy things that taste good, like he deserves to. he's been spending time with one of their little off world travelers, learning how to cook, from world to world. and ankheen is so big and bright, there are plenty of places to do it. they've ended up somewhere so strange and terrible - is it bad, so bad for him to want lin to see the brighter side?
he gesticulates with his hands as he talks, as bright as ever. ]
But then - can I say the rest is a surprise? I want to take a walk, but the destination! That's a secret.
[ it's not like there are that many places they can really explore. ] What do you say?
[ eury does not seem to preen under the attention, but does give one long pause for lu bixing, and then blinks very slowly. on the way to his other half's side, he gives wiggly, golden andromeda a fully body press, sinuous and pleased, before winding a tail around lin's leg in full. all the while, he fixes eyes on andromeda, lower lidded and relaxed. as far as surprises go, lin jingheng is not a fan of them, and would prefer to avoid anything he does not know everything about at all costs. he can't stretch out his fingers and touch all there is to know here, not without zhanlu, not without what they once had with all of the interconnectedness of their world.
so he lifts his chin a bit and considers.
there are only so many places to go in ankheen. he and eurymedon have prowled the entire city top to bottom in order to maintain their sense of control over something. he flexes a hand, zhanlu inactive, resting curled around his fingers and wrist and forearm in his deactivated mode like the smallest of creature comforts. lu bixing is troublesome, but that trouble pierces through his heart like a needle of light, forcing any doubt to implode upon contact, supernova imminent.
he... he likes it. ]
I've already seen the city in its entirety. [ a commander. and yet: thick, icy glass slides back ] I'm curious as to what you have to show me.
[ lu bixing's face brightens up, as the acceptance comes. he knows lin jingheng by now - knows the aloof answer, is expecting it , but is somehow just twice as delighted every time lin jingheng says yes. he knows from experience and observation, like any good scientist, that lin jingheng is actually nicer to him than just about anyone else in the entire world, and he knows that he gets away with everything, so he knows that he has to push the limits of it just a little.
the smile on his face is as bright as the sun when he gets his yes nonetheless because it never gets less thrilling, and he laughs. ]
I bet you haven't. Well, no, that's not true. I bet you've seen it, but I don't think you've experienced it.
[ he's teasing, of course, as he nudges the door back open with his heel, but it is true. lin jingheng doesn't talk to people like lu bixing does, and, he's not exactly a cayley kid like lu bixing is, the country bumpkin son of a crime lord. he loves ankheen. it reminds him of home.
he pushes the door back open - pauses, and then strides right over to lin jingheng's closet, plucking a jacket off of the hook and giving it a little wiggle. ]
It's going to get cold, so make sure you're ready. Andy, are you coming?
[ andromeda barks her affirmative, cheerfully, and trots over to follow, tail sticking straight up and looking back expectantly at eury and lin jingheng. ]
[ eury pads forward, followed by lin jingheng bringing up the rear, pulling the jacket from bixing's hand... hmm. he closes the door to the house they've been provided and bumps his shoulder against lu bixing's before looking towards the city curiously and then towards lu bixing. he's not sure what exactly he has in mind for this "surprise."
and something tells him that he's going to feel strongly about it in some way or another. all feelings that are strong tend to feel a bit like lin jingheng is being twisted by a pair of large hands, bones breaking, heart racing.
he blinks a bit because eury has stopped completely, his tail lashing, hitting jingheng's calf over and over again, eyes pointed towards him. he fixes his own gaze on him before taking lu bixing's hand fast and tight into his own. ]
Experience it before we're shunted somewhere else?
[ well, he was going to put the jacket on himself, but somehow flirting with jingheng over it is even better - his mouth quirks up into a smile, and he lets their hands brush as he takes the coat, lets it brighten up his whole expression. next to him, andromeda makes a happy chuffing noise, tail starting to wag behind her as she trots a full circle around them both, almost prancing with glee.
especially, especially when jingheng does take his hand. lu bixing lights up, like he always does, a sun contained in a person, and pulls his hand up to lay a kiss on his knuckles. ]
Nope. [ as playful as andromeda, he smiles against his knuckles, and then moves to pull him through the door into the desert sun. by now, the time has changed to the late afternoon - the unbearably hot sun is starting to come down, and bixing takes their hands and swings them, as andromeda trots out in the front and nudges against eury, then continues to more or less cheerfully prance at his side. ] You trust me, right? Especially in a city.
being in a second round of murder is not great. for lu bixing, who has a family at home, who especially has trauma relating to this kind of thing, being in a second round of murder is really not great. but, this time at least it's just him. bixing misses jingheng desperately, but his name is not the one on his hostage paperwork - instead, that honor goes to a living version of his father, and while he's determined to bring him back, bixing's not the type to murder in cold blood, so he's been biding his time learning the secrets of this place and solving murders and trying not to freak out every thursday that passes.
still. his family is at home and safe, and right now, thursday is a long way away, and today, lu bixing has heard some Rumors. mainly, he's heard that something might be up with their staff - that they might be obfuscating even more they originally seemed. despite some of their occasionally frosty nature, bixing's had no trouble getting along with any of the staff members, but there's one in particular who really, really caught his attention, and that... would be cancer. he's a merrymaker, sure, and he's fun to be around. but, with the idea that there's something strange going on, that perhaps they're hiding on purpose...
...well.
it's time for a little experiment.
on tuesday afternoon, cancer's bell is rung, succinctly, three times. in his tip box? a batch of freshly baked lu bixing chocolate chip cookies. he waits very patiently by the desk for his friend, vibrating a little, stomach twisting itself into knots. he's probably - it's probably not right, but since when has lu bixing ever avoided his instincts?
this means that lu bixing wants something. cancer appears from the dark dramatically and picks up the plate full of cookies and gives them a sniff, humming... because the creature whose skin he's had to climb into is insufferably theatrical. ]
I'm going to have to beg someone to adjust my trousers. You should be careful.
[ he really wishes that bixing would stop feeding him, goddamn it.
"again, jingheng?" a measuring tape snaps menacingly, a playful threat.
"shut the hell up, burakh."
"he spoils you."
(jingheng kicks burakh's bad knee without remorse. his metabolism is fucked up a little. such is his life.)
—except he actually doesn't want him to stop. he take a cookie from the plate immediately and puts it in his mouth, not because he cares about the sweetness or the taste, but because lu bixing has touched this, he's caressed each egg before splitting it and sifting white from yolk with care between his fingers and he's brushed through flour and sugar motes and lin jingheng swears this is as close to heaven as he's been in weeks upon weeks.
he hums, and the enthusiasm isn't a lie. damn he's gotten so used to this cadence, he's suffering when it bleeds into his downtime. clearing his throat after a mouthful, he gestures encouragingly, forced to watch lu bixing behind a dark glass. ]
Now... what can I do for you, Bixing?
[ the name feels as close to a kiss as he can possibly get. ]
[ it always, always, always brings bixing joy when people like his food. after all, he learned how to cook for his family. these chocolate chip cookies were a product of their time in hell, in the same way he learned how to make matcha cookies for scaramouche's lack of a sweet tooth, sugar cookies for rose. in the way he makes chocolate chip cookies when he rarely gets down time back at home, running back and forth between meetings on rainy days when they're having company.
it's a special kind of joy when the staff like them, though. bixing smiles, sitting down by the desk and propping his chin on top of his knuckles, making sure to turn on the charm.
(he's sifting through all of cancer's movements, today, especially. hypervigilant. the familiar lilt of his? his. his voice, now, the easy, flirtatious way he talks. it's some kind of cover.) ]
Don't be silly. Sweets are good for your morale, those calories don't count. [ okay scientist. ] Next time, I'll ask the kitchen staff nicely for some oranges, how about that? If you're so worried.
[ oranges, like a date in milky way city, all those years ago. bixing kicks his feet where he's settled, and there's a twinkle in his bright brown eyes. the innocent sort, where he's up to something, but it's probably pretty harmless. ] As for me, I've heard there's a mandatory new rule from on high. Can you believe it? It was delivered special to my desk today.
[ he takes another bite because he wants to scream. this is absolutely insane. how many weeks has it been hiding in plain sight like a similarly-shaped vase under a blanket. this is so wrong. he does his best to just... fit the mold, even now, even if every day is such a damn fight.
he wishes he could take off his gloves, because the best part is licking your fingers when no one is looking (lu bixing has caught him before, and jingheng has admitted that he just doesn't like his food going to waste.)
instead, he's dainty, grabs from the edge carefully and puts another in his mouth. ]
Mmm— [ sorry he's still eating! oh no! aka bring whatever you want, he's not answering that ] Oh really? What rule is that, exactly?
And I'm pretty sure my boss supersedes even you right now, dear Prime Minister. But nice try.
[ he smoothly brushes lu bixing's pointing hand away with a flick of his hand, raising a brow, even if lu bixing can't see. this is part of whatever lu bixing has up his sleeve, and lin jingheng has to stay on his toes. he's anxious, and gu yun's stupid words echo in the back of his mind.
(it's unfair, how he can call him out on sweating at the sound of his bell so immediately.) ]
But you know what I'm about. [ this counts as customer service. ] Service with a smile.
[ the words could be considered "said with a grin." it's all done with stubborn practice. he had to close his eyes to take himself seriously. ]
[ if he could hold onto that hand for a second, maybe bixing could judge it a little better. like the rest of the staff, cancer is always wearing gloves - but he heard that someone, someone saw vulpecula without her veil, the other day, and lu bixing is not one to be easily set back.
besides. "service with a smile", he says. he can work with that. and really, he's the one who's smiling about it, warm and rueful, as he takes his batted away hand and puts it to his own cheek and sighs. it is just a little bit dramatic. Dramatique. ]
I bet you have a nice smile... I'll just have to use my imagination.
[ bad. he smiles anyway, though, tucking his hands into his pockets. ]
Dear Cancer, then, let's go grab a drink? Maybe outside, if you wouldn't mind - it gets stuffy in here - or back up in my room?
[ yeah, he remembers hearing the rumors of that and he has just superglued this veil even moreso to his skull (not really, but he did ask burakh if he could just. surgically attach it to his scalp to which he said "what do i look like, a malpractice suit?") ]
We can go to your room.
[ a dangerous move, but he thinks he's fairly well equipped to maneuver out of most situations with bixing. besides, i'm giving sisi the self-indulgent dream of describing bixing's extra-ass room, i hope. he hums. ]
Pick your poison, I can provide.
[ he's feeling generous? maybe? it's because it's bixing, but no one has to know that. everyone at this point knows that cancer is a lush, and while he sips from an opaque wine glass most days, jingheng just holds it in his mouth most of the time and delude himself enough into thinking it's a neat glass of whiskey or bourbon instead.
he considers it to be a mental exercise, a very difficult one. he is still failing it. it's terrible. he hates this wine, it tastes like ass. ]
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no subject
chasma au!!
chroma au!!!
fucking around and finding out!!!
⭐️ chasma AU
it's a fresh week in the city of ankheen! lu bixing's fresh weeks in each of these new locations have all gone roughly the same - he bounds around the city at approximately 100mph, gets to know the whole location, befriends as many locals as he can (his glee in otamo upon realizing there were locals to get to know was unmatched) and drags lin jingheng all over the place to explore.
since it is a monday evening, and lu bixing has (unfortunately) (tragically) (miserably) not woken up in the same bed as lin jingheng (he'll find a way to rig this randomizing system yet), he's going to find him in one of the houses. one of lin jingheng's housemates lets him in, and in the evening, there is a bright, three-tap knock on lin jingheng's door that sounds awfully familiar.
beside him sits andromeda, her tail swishing from side to side against the floor. lu bixing's tail would also be swishing side to side against the floor, if it could. he has Plans. ]
no subject
he'll open the door. especially as eury weaves around his legs, bumping and growling softly before standing patiently and still as stone as they stand before their company.
lu bixing stands there like a beacon, brighter than the sunlight that had streamed through his window. ]
You're early.
[ lin jingheng had assumed lu would make his rounds, then come see him. he can function well enough without zhanlu but he wishes he didn't have to.
how annoying. ]
no subject
lu bixing beams at eurymedon, and then right back up at lin jingheng. beautiful lin jingheng, who looks so, so pretty in this lighting, it's really just not fair? he and eury are really the most perfect pair in the world. it's not quite zhanlu, but, it's still nice, and lu bixing's whole day is immediately a little brighter just to be spending time with him.
he leans on the doorframe on one arm, in a way that he hopes is very attractive, and waves a hand. ] Ah, I am, I am. I had an idea, Commander Lin! I've made us some evening plans. Are you free? You're free, aren't you?
[ asked in the way that suggests "well, if you aren't free, you should be free now". andromeda prances around eury once she's finished her initial greeting, making little whoof noises. ]
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he perches himself by a window ledge meant for extra seating, arms folded.
i should say i am just to teach you a lesson.
but he does not. ]
What idea did you have? [ frowns. so straightforward. ]
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andromeda seems deeply content with the attention, tail wagging happily, and she follows eury to trot in a circle around lin jingheng and sit down by his feet while lu bixing talks. ] Well, dinner, of course. I'm sure you haven't eaten.
[ because like, obviously. he knows this about jingheng. no nutrition syringes here to keep him eating absolutely nothing. in a way, bixing is a little glad, if only because it means that he can make sure that lin jingheng gets to eat better things, gets to enjoy things that taste good, like he deserves to. he's been spending time with one of their little off world travelers, learning how to cook, from world to world. and ankheen is so big and bright, there are plenty of places to do it. they've ended up somewhere so strange and terrible - is it bad, so bad for him to want lin to see the brighter side?
he gesticulates with his hands as he talks, as bright as ever. ]
But then - can I say the rest is a surprise? I want to take a walk, but the destination! That's a secret.
[ it's not like there are that many places they can really explore. ] What do you say?
no subject
so he lifts his chin a bit and considers.
there are only so many places to go in ankheen. he and eurymedon have prowled the entire city top to bottom in order to maintain their sense of control over something. he flexes a hand, zhanlu inactive, resting curled around his fingers and wrist and forearm in his deactivated mode like the smallest of creature comforts. lu bixing is troublesome, but that trouble pierces through his heart like a needle of light, forcing any doubt to implode upon contact, supernova imminent.
he... he likes it. ]
I've already seen the city in its entirety. [ a commander. and yet: thick, icy glass slides back ] I'm curious as to what you have to show me.
[ yes. ]
no subject
the smile on his face is as bright as the sun when he gets his yes nonetheless because it never gets less thrilling, and he laughs. ]
I bet you haven't. Well, no, that's not true. I bet you've seen it, but I don't think you've experienced it.
[ he's teasing, of course, as he nudges the door back open with his heel, but it is true. lin jingheng doesn't talk to people like lu bixing does, and, he's not exactly a cayley kid like lu bixing is, the country bumpkin son of a crime lord. he loves ankheen. it reminds him of home.
he pushes the door back open - pauses, and then strides right over to lin jingheng's closet, plucking a jacket off of the hook and giving it a little wiggle. ]
It's going to get cold, so make sure you're ready. Andy, are you coming?
[ andromeda barks her affirmative, cheerfully, and trots over to follow, tail sticking straight up and looking back expectantly at eury and lin jingheng. ]
no subject
and something tells him that he's going to feel strongly about it in some way or another. all feelings that are strong tend to feel a bit like lin jingheng is being twisted by a pair of large hands, bones breaking, heart racing.
he blinks a bit because eury has stopped completely, his tail lashing, hitting jingheng's calf over and over again, eyes pointed towards him. he fixes his own gaze on him before taking lu bixing's hand fast and tight into his own. ]
Experience it before we're shunted somewhere else?
[ he huffs. ]
Do I get a hint?
no subject
especially, especially when jingheng does take his hand. lu bixing lights up, like he always does, a sun contained in a person, and pulls his hand up to lay a kiss on his knuckles. ]
Nope. [ as playful as andromeda, he smiles against his knuckles, and then moves to pull him through the door into the desert sun. by now, the time has changed to the late afternoon - the unbearably hot sun is starting to come down, and bixing takes their hands and swings them, as andromeda trots out in the front and nudges against eury, then continues to more or less cheerfully prance at his side. ] You trust me, right? Especially in a city.
crau...au....
being in a second round of murder is not great. for lu bixing, who has a family at home, who especially has trauma relating to this kind of thing, being in a second round of murder is really not great. but, this time at least it's just him. bixing misses jingheng desperately, but his name is not the one on his hostage paperwork - instead, that honor goes to a living version of his father, and while he's determined to bring him back, bixing's not the type to murder in cold blood, so he's been biding his time learning the secrets of this place and solving murders and trying not to freak out every thursday that passes.
still. his family is at home and safe, and right now, thursday is a long way away, and today, lu bixing has heard some Rumors. mainly, he's heard that something might be up with their staff - that they might be obfuscating even more they originally seemed. despite some of their occasionally frosty nature, bixing's had no trouble getting along with any of the staff members, but there's one in particular who really, really caught his attention, and that... would be cancer. he's a merrymaker, sure, and he's fun to be around. but, with the idea that there's something strange going on, that perhaps they're hiding on purpose...
...well.
it's time for a little experiment.
on tuesday afternoon, cancer's bell is rung, succinctly, three times. in his tip box? a batch of freshly baked lu bixing chocolate chip cookies. he waits very patiently by the desk for his friend, vibrating a little, stomach twisting itself into knots. he's probably - it's probably not right, but since when has lu bixing ever avoided his instincts?
knock knock!!! ]
no subject
this means that lu bixing wants something. cancer appears from the dark dramatically and picks up the plate full of cookies and gives them a sniff, humming... because the creature whose skin he's had to climb into is insufferably theatrical. ]
I'm going to have to beg someone to adjust my trousers. You should be careful.
[ he really wishes that bixing would stop feeding him, goddamn it. —except he actually doesn't want him to stop. he take a cookie from the plate immediately and puts it in his mouth, not because he cares about the sweetness or the taste, but because lu bixing has touched this, he's caressed each egg before splitting it and sifting white from yolk with care between his fingers and he's brushed through flour and sugar motes and lin jingheng swears this is as close to heaven as he's been in weeks upon weeks.
he hums, and the enthusiasm isn't a lie. damn he's gotten so used to this cadence, he's suffering when it bleeds into his downtime. clearing his throat after a mouthful, he gestures encouragingly, forced to watch lu bixing behind a dark glass. ]
Now... what can I do for you, Bixing?
[ the name feels as close to a kiss as he can possibly get. ]
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it's a special kind of joy when the staff like them, though. bixing smiles, sitting down by the desk and propping his chin on top of his knuckles, making sure to turn on the charm.
(he's sifting through all of cancer's movements, today, especially. hypervigilant. the familiar lilt of his? his. his voice, now, the easy, flirtatious way he talks. it's some kind of cover.) ]
Don't be silly. Sweets are good for your morale, those calories don't count. [ okay scientist. ] Next time, I'll ask the kitchen staff nicely for some oranges, how about that? If you're so worried.
[ oranges, like a date in milky way city, all those years ago. bixing kicks his feet where he's settled, and there's a twinkle in his bright brown eyes. the innocent sort, where he's up to something, but it's probably pretty harmless. ] As for me, I've heard there's a mandatory new rule from on high. Can you believe it? It was delivered special to my desk today.
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[ he takes another bite because he wants to scream. this is absolutely insane. how many weeks has it been hiding in plain sight like a similarly-shaped vase under a blanket. this is so wrong. he does his best to just... fit the mold, even now, even if every day is such a damn fight.
he wishes he could take off his gloves, because the best part is licking your fingers when no one is looking (lu bixing has caught him before, and jingheng has admitted that he just doesn't like his food going to waste.)
instead, he's dainty, grabs from the edge carefully and puts another in his mouth. ]
Mmm— [ sorry he's still eating! oh no! aka bring whatever you want, he's not answering that ] Oh really? What rule is that, exactly?
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bixing points at him. ]
You're required to hang out with me today and take a break.
[
ok. ]
Prime Minister's orders. Supercedes everyone!
[ ok ]
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[ he smoothly brushes lu bixing's pointing hand away with a flick of his hand, raising a brow, even if lu bixing can't see. this is part of whatever lu bixing has up his sleeve, and lin jingheng has to stay on his toes. he's anxious, and gu yun's stupid words echo in the back of his mind.
(it's unfair, how he can call him out on sweating at the sound of his bell so immediately.) ]
But you know what I'm about. [ this counts as customer service. ] Service with a smile.
[ the words could be considered "said with a grin." it's all done with stubborn practice. he had to close his eyes to take himself seriously. ]
no subject
besides. "service with a smile", he says. he can work with that. and really, he's the one who's smiling about it, warm and rueful, as he takes his batted away hand and puts it to his own cheek and sighs. it is just a little bit dramatic. Dramatique. ]
I bet you have a nice smile... I'll just have to use my imagination.
[ bad. he smiles anyway, though, tucking his hands into his pockets. ]
Dear Cancer, then, let's go grab a drink? Maybe outside, if you wouldn't mind - it gets stuffy in here - or back up in my room?
no subject
We can go to your room.
[ a dangerous move, but he thinks he's fairly well equipped to maneuver out of most situations with bixing. besides, i'm giving sisi the self-indulgent dream of describing bixing's extra-ass room, i hope. he hums. ]
Pick your poison, I can provide.
[ he's feeling generous? maybe? it's because it's bixing, but no one has to know that. everyone at this point knows that cancer is a lush, and while he sips from an opaque wine glass most days, jingheng just holds it in his mouth most of the time and delude himself enough into thinking it's a neat glass of whiskey or bourbon instead.
he considers it to be a mental exercise, a very difficult one. he is still failing it. it's terrible. he hates this wine, it tastes like ass. ]