he's never once slept well in a place he didn't know - well, he never sleeps well in general, but especially when its somewhere he doesn't know. it's only all of the healing and blood loss that keeps him knocked out for however long he was, and once he's awake, he's immediately fully alert and... fucking exhausted. his body hurts, though admittedly it hurts much less than he thought it ought to, and he checks himself over briefly, takes in the state of his bandages, his clothing, of his body, takes in the room around himself, poised like an animal with every bit of strength he can manage.
it's about then that everything that happened hits him like a ton of bricks. the borisin, darius, the fire, the - jiaoqiu. everything that happened with jiaoqiu. for a second, it's a downright overwhelming mix of emotions, somewhere between horror and anger and bitterness and fear, definitely fear, and this awful sensation of something guilty. it's enough he has to swallow it down, curl his fists tight in the blankets on this bed, and stare at the rabbit. he needs to get the hell out of here no matter how bad he feels, physically and emotionally.
however. hearing someone getting yelled at catches his attention. after a moment, silently - without even disturbing the little rabbit, he slides out of the bed and pads over in the direction of the sound. might as well eavesdrop. ]
[ oh, good, he can hear a woman scolding someone with a whole lot of barely disguised fury.
"-- off! Off my property! Now! You go back right this instant and you tell Hoolay that if he sends any of you foul-smelling beasts to my doorstep again, I will cut him off from every single healer in this city. Do you understand? You keep your business away from mine, I do not care who or who not I may have in my house! Out! Out! Before I call Fuyuan!"
there's the sound of scampering, silence, and then the voice getting louder as the woman mutters to herself, slamming her door. this is more just her calling borisin some very nasty names as she thuds around the place.
on the bed, the rabbit thumps its foot on the mattress, having woken up because of the noise. it gives therion a stink eye. ]
good? great. on the one hand, it does mean that he's probably safe for now, if the way that woman was barking was any indication. on the other hand, it means he's probably stuck here. he sighs and leans against the door of the little room he's found himself in, reaching up to rub a hand over his face under his bangs and suddenly just feeling very, very tired. he stands there for a minute like that, hand on his face as the events of the day come back to him.
really, this is what he gets. something good was happening - it figures it would've been destroyed. therion should've known better. with this self deprecating, bitter thought out of the way, he drags his hand down his face and looks at the rabbit that is glaring at him. what the fuck? he gives a stink eye right back. ]
Hey. Don't look at me, hopalong. I'm not the one shouting.
[ he's talking to a rabbit. maybe he has lost his mind.
the longer he stands there, the worse he feels, both mentally and physically, but he's too stubborn to sit right away. so, he just leans against the door like an idiot, cranky and full of emotions that are settled now somewhere between bitterness and anxiety and dread. he has to assume with all that noise that - if this lady knew him, then... jiaoqiu's probably okay, but he...
but after a moment, when it seems to understand he is not going to get back into bed, it jumps off the bed and headbutts his ankle. gets his attention, only to tap a paw on the door. open please.
and if he does, it'll lead him out into the main living space, where lingsha is sitting next to a cot. it's hard to see who is in the cot, but if he squints he can probably see the red-stained pink tail hanging off the side of it. there's a beat, and lingsha looks up, frowning.
"... You should be in bed," she says, with a resigned sort of expression like she knows that he's not going to go lay down again. she glances at the bunny, who thumps its foot again and then bounces over to go curl up by her feet. ]
[ the bunny is rude? rude. he like wiggles his foot and nudges at the rabbit when it headbutts his ankle, but he will do as he's told, and nudges the door open, and...
he stares for a second, processing but not quite processing that there are words being said, not quite processing anything but that fluff of pink just in his vision. it's another whammy of emotions - whatever those dumb fucking borisin said, and then the look on his face and all of those injuries, and darius giving over information, and...
there's that twist again. guilt and anxiety and that bitter upset misery, until it feels like he's going to be sick. none of it shows on his face as he leans against the doorway, and does not lay down, folding his arms and jerking his head towards jiaoqiu. ]
"He's alive. And he'll be fine, if he rests." she reaches down and scoops the bunny up off the floor. "He should be awake soon. If you're not going to sleep, you can make yourself useful and come sit with him until he does."
she picks herself up off the chair, and moves out of the way.
"He was asking for you earlier. I don't think he was awake, but he was saying what I assume is your name. Therion?" ]
[ all at once, that feeling gets worse, but this time it's accompanied by a pulse of warmth from his tiny, barricaded heart, intermixed with relief that flickers across his eyes no matter how composed his expression is. he's alive. that's... good. they made it in time.
is he, though? is jiaoqiu going to be able to come back from this? that dead look in his eyes is one he's seen before, after all. and then - why does he care, should he care? he thinks about jiaoqiu half dead and being the linchpin to get therion free from the borisin's mouth with the last of his energy, and he's feeling tired all over again.
and a little uncomfortable, but that's not really anyone's fault but his own. he doesn't need to be having all these feelings in front of someone, and this lady did save his life, probably, so, after a stilted beat, therion nods. ]
...yeah. [ and then. ] Thanks.
[ for the medical treatment, for saving his life, for...saving jiaoqiu's life, for showing up in the nick of time. he owes gratitude, and he's not unwilling to say it when he needs to. that, and he's gonna have to pay for this somehow, but that's a problem for future therion as he pushes himself off the doorframe and makes his way over, resting his hand on the back of the chair, and actually looking down at jiaoqiu, now. he doesn't sit until lingsha is gone. ]
and then she's off, carrying the bunny off to another part of the house to give the two of them some privacy.
jiaoqiu is just as bandaged as therion - his shirt is off, so they're very visible, across his torso and arm. his leg is in a brace, and he's mostly clean of blood, though his fur and hair is still stained in places. he looks particularly frail, pale, but he's breathing, and it's not ragged or gasping. whatever magic lingsha has seems to have at least made it so that he is not missing chunks of flesh, but he's got a huge bruise on his cheek and a nasty claw mark across the side of his face that extends down to his neck and shoulder. not as bad as it had been, but... still.
when therion sits, jiaoqiu's ear flicks. and he shifts, expression contorting into something pained, though he's not all the way awake just yet. there's a mumbled word that sounds familiar, as he struggles to pull himself to consciousness. ]
[ well. he looks... better than he did the last time therion saw him conscious, but that's a very, very low bar. comparing jiaoqiu laying in this bed right now to the jiaoqiu of 24 hours ago, whining about getting out of bed and sprawling across the covers, being irritating on purpose until therion pinned him down, pink splash on white sheets - it's a night and day difference. he looks like a wraith, a shade of barely existing life, all too pale skin and too white bandages.
he should've known this was going to happen. he should've taken jiaoqiu away. he should've - he should've left, bolted out of town months ago. now they're both in danger, and god knows for how long that's going to be. that doesn't even begin to unpack the other problems, but it's whats on his mind as he stares at that claw mark, so vibrant and bright against the rest of him, a claw straight through that play-pretend that the past couple of days were.
he's got his arms folded when he sits, tense and tight, but - watching jiaoqiu start to mumble and stir, therion exhales out, a short, annoyed sounding sigh, and mutters - ] Did you not hear her? She said rest, idiot. Don't start trying to get up, now. [ and lifts his hands, only he pauses - he's not sure what to do with his hands. he's not sure how to help.
he's not sure if he could even touch without breaking. whether its himself or jiaoqiu that might shatter, its hard to say. his hands stay hovering in the air. ]
Edited (i did a cyrus tag today and you can tell by the word "rouse" ) 2024-10-19 21:21 (UTC)
[ maybe the reason jiaoqiu fights so hard to wake up is because he subconsciously knows, somehow, that therion is taking all this alone time to internalize more guilt and trauma,
no, it's probably not that intricate, but there is something in him that senses the distress. it takes a second, but he follows that voice, and after a moment, his gold eyes blearily open and try to focus. silence, for a moment, and then he sucks in a sharp breath, a little panicky, because his vision isn't gone, but the claw mark across his cheek makes it a little difficult to open that eye and it's just so, so similar, he can still smell the borisin and the blood and he's a little lost in it. he can see, but what if it fades, what if someone comes to him and says, i'm sorry, you should be sitting down for this, it's just that the general...
therion's hand hovers, and jiaoqiu grabs for it, fingers scrabbling - misses the first time, and then tries again, with a much more clear: ]
[ oh. oh, god - the scrabbling panic startles him, too, and he jolts where he's sitting. he doesn't pull his hand back or anything when he starts to grab at him, and instinct takes over before anything else. he lets jiaoqiu take his hand.
his hands are cold, but he's there. familiar, rough palms, scratched in old scars. fluttery pulse, when he scrabbles, but still there. ]
Take - [ ngh. ] Take it easy, fluff, I'm right here.
[ he is so bad at being comforting in every way shape or form, but therion's not stupid, either. he knows exactly why jiaoqiu is reacting like that, exactly what he must be thinking. and for a second, whatever awful thoughts he was having are pushed off to the wayside, because his entire attention is taken up with trying to keep jiaoqiu from running off down that path when he doesn't have to. he's... here. for whatever fucking reason, he's here. ]
[ it just barely staves off the panic attack he's working himself up into, hearing therion's voice.
his chest heaves with it, which hurts all over. he doesn't feel a lot, sometimes, but that doesn't extend to the physical. he's a noodle with absolutely no pain tolerance, and it makes him wince horribly when he moves wrong. he freezes, sucking in another sharp breath and trying to calm down. alive. they're both alive. therion is here. it's not really a surprise, but it's such a relief in so many ways that he chokes a bit, forgetting that he has to breathe.
he's shaking, but he holds that hand like a lifeline, and for the first time in a very long time he doesn't immediately have to fight off the void. he's so, so awake, staring at therion like he's not sure he's real. ]
[ ah - god, when he winces, he looks mildly distressed, which is a lot of distress for the king of the resting bitch face. his other hand flutters, uselessly, and he just kind of sets it on the side of the bed, suddenly feeling just as overwhelmed by the pain that he's in and the tremor in his arm, in his hand. could've been avoided. should've been avoided.
oh. jiaoqiu's asking a question. therion bites the inside of his cheek, hard. he's holding onto him like a lifeboat. he can't let him drown. ]
Hell if I know. [ he thinks he's asking where they are? if its something else, oh well. there's a beat, because he does at least know this part, and he adds, a little quieter - ] ...Your doctor friend.
[ it's a good enough answer. it tells him enough - the borisin can't get here, for now. another couple of seconds of trying to calm down, his hand shaking so violently that it hurts, and he really feels like he might pass out again, but. lingsha's magic keeps him together, makes the pain start to recede a little. ]
Are you... all right? [ he asks, haltingly. ] You... came for...
[ deep breath. he looks therion over, trying to find and catalog his injuries, forgetting about his own. it hurts, but he has a very vivid memory of a borisin getting his teeth into therion's arm, and he passed out before he could see the extent of the damage. ]
[ god, of course. he snorts, humorless, dry, and mutters: ] I can't believe you.
[ asking after him, after all of that. he's not surprised, which is the worst part. a beat passes. another. his fingers curl around jiaoqiu's when his tremor worsens, tentatively. a feral creature with withdrawn claws. ]
I'm fine. [ ... ] You were gone for too long.
[ for once, his paranoia came in handy. it shouldn't have had to, but it did. ]
[ his ears sort of just press back, which also hurts, but it's an involuntary thing. he swallows, and very gingerly brings therion's hand in his closer, pressing it to his uninjured cheek. trust, bringing the withdrawn claws to him. ]
... I'm sorry. [ he says, after a moment, closing his eyes. ] I was cornered. They took... my phone. I wanted to... come back. So I went with... with them.
[ it's the only time he's had some measure of survival instinct in years. they could've killed him, but therion was waiting for him. he couldn't do that to him. he couldn't leave therion to find his corpse somewhere.
therion's hand is cold, but that's okay. jiaoqiu's are normally freezing - he's usually got no body heat to speak of, despite everything - but right now he's all overheated. probably a fever, he thinks absently. therion's hand feels good on his skin. ]
[ he lets him do that - take his hand, bring it closer, and it feels bad, bad in ways that it's uncomfortable and too much and not enough all at once. his hand's so close to that claw mark on his face.
there's a long pause before he says anything, his face turned away. ]
What would you lose this time, your hearing? Your tongue?
[ it comes out sharp, sharper than he means it to. angry, because that's all he ever knows how to show. it comes from a different place, though, this time. worry and frustration, something fierce, something angry. ]
Guy seemed thrilled to have you back in there. [ and whose fault was that? he thinks about he's an informant and how dissonant it felt with the condition jiaoqiu was in, and it snarls unhappily in his stomach. ] The only way you were getting out was in a body bag.
[ he says, finally, to the first part. because he doesn't really want to be dead. he doesn't always want to be alive, but that doesn't mean death is preferable. the anger gets him - he knows this is how therion shows concern, but there's a weird tinge to it that he can't quite figure out. his overheated brain works overtime as he tries to make sense of what this anger means. obviously, therion's frustrated, but he can't figure out if it's because he's angry at jiaoqiu for being cornered, or injured, or something else. it does not occur to him that therion might be angry at himself. ]
You came to get me. [ ... ] You... almost died, to get me.
[ ooooh his expression at that is not good - it flickers across even his face, something thunderously unhappy, and he looks away. better to be deaf or wordless. better to not be a fucking corpse at all.
you almost died, he says, and therion scoffs - it hurts his still recovering body, but he doesn't care. ]
Yeah, well - you wouldn't have even been in that situation if it wasn't for me.
[ it's out of his mouth before he has any time to really think about it. he thinks about darius' smug fucking face on the way out. how he's going to be seeing it in his nightmares all over again, fresh and infuriating.
another pause. and then, roughly - ] You almost died.
silence, for a moment, and then he slowly shifts therion's fingers to his pulse. lets him feel it against his neck. it's a little slow, but it's there. he strokes therion's hand with his thumb. slowly, the shaking is easing up. ]
Is that what you think? That... it's your fault? [ he asks, soft. ] It wasn't. It was an inevitability for me, whether... I'd met you or not.
[ oooghgh this is!!! too much, this is making it worse, he feels seen, and his fingers twitch when he feels his pulse. he'd felt it in that stupid room, too. there is not a single moment in his life he ever felt more afraid than when he heard that tiny whimper and the tearing of bone and flesh from body, and he thought he was too late.
it's just. it's jiaoqiu, being jiaoqiu, as usual. ]
Stop - stop, stop trying to comfort me, you - [ god he could shake jiaoqiu. he won't, but oh, he could shake him. the problem is he doesn't even know what he wants to say - he feels like a livewire, about three seconds from jittering out of his skin. he shouldn't be here. he should be - he doesn't even know what, anymore, and he scrubs his hand over his face, harshly, over his bad eye. ] God.
[ that makes jiaoqiu laugh? it shouldn't, it's not really funny. it just makes him cough-huff one out, weakly. he's knows this is a lot for his stupid tsundere thief - and he doesn't even correct himself on the thought. his. the last three days in the hotel, the gradual ease of therion's shoulders, and now, watching him jitter at the thought of having to be honest with himself about how badly this affects him. all of that, he thinks, makes therion so very much his. and it's okay, if therion doesn't feel the same, but he can't quite lie to himself anymore about it.
jiaoqiu has shitty self worth, but he's not stupid. he can see this. he knows that he's a lost cause, because the first thing he thought about when he woke up was whether or not therion survived. ]
Therion.
[ he mumbles, watching him. ]
What do you think happened?
[ what did you hear? let him explain, let him help. let him connect, stop putting up that wall. he wants in, he needs in. ]
[ don't laugh - his head whips up to glower automatically, and in any other situation, he might fluster. he's not sure he has enough blood in his body left for it, so there's that but it's not normal, nothing about this is normal. his fingers twitch, again, and he can't even make himself pull his hand back and away from him, and that's freaking him out, too. stupid. fucking stupid.
god. therion takes a breath from behind his other hand. inhale, exhale, drags his other hand down his face and drops it into his lap. ]
Information trade. [ a pause - his eyes flick back to jiaoqiu's face, again. ] Did you work for him?
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no subject
he's never once slept well in a place he didn't know - well, he never sleeps well in general, but especially when its somewhere he doesn't know. it's only all of the healing and blood loss that keeps him knocked out for however long he was, and once he's awake, he's immediately fully alert and... fucking exhausted. his body hurts, though admittedly it hurts much less than he thought it ought to, and he checks himself over briefly, takes in the state of his bandages, his clothing, of his body, takes in the room around himself, poised like an animal with every bit of strength he can manage.
it's about then that everything that happened hits him like a ton of bricks. the borisin, darius, the fire, the - jiaoqiu. everything that happened with jiaoqiu. for a second, it's a downright overwhelming mix of emotions, somewhere between horror and anger and bitterness and fear, definitely fear, and this awful sensation of something guilty. it's enough he has to swallow it down, curl his fists tight in the blankets on this bed, and stare at the rabbit. he needs to get the hell out of here no matter how bad he feels, physically and emotionally.
however. hearing someone getting yelled at catches his attention. after a moment, silently - without even disturbing the little rabbit, he slides out of the bed and pads over in the direction of the sound. might as well eavesdrop. ]
no subject
"-- off! Off my property! Now! You go back right this instant and you tell Hoolay that if he sends any of you foul-smelling beasts to my doorstep again, I will cut him off from every single healer in this city. Do you understand? You keep your business away from mine, I do not care who or who not I may have in my house! Out! Out! Before I call Fuyuan!"
there's the sound of scampering, silence, and then the voice getting louder as the woman mutters to herself, slamming her door. this is more just her calling borisin some very nasty names as she thuds around the place.
on the bed, the rabbit thumps its foot on the mattress, having woken up because of the noise. it gives therion a stink eye. ]
no subject
good? great. on the one hand, it does mean that he's probably safe for now, if the way that woman was barking was any indication. on the other hand, it means he's probably stuck here. he sighs and leans against the door of the little room he's found himself in, reaching up to rub a hand over his face under his bangs and suddenly just feeling very, very tired. he stands there for a minute like that, hand on his face as the events of the day come back to him.
really, this is what he gets. something good was happening - it figures it would've been destroyed. therion should've known better. with this self deprecating, bitter thought out of the way, he drags his hand down his face and looks at the rabbit that is glaring at him. what the fuck? he gives a stink eye right back. ]
Hey. Don't look at me, hopalong. I'm not the one shouting.
[ he's talking to a rabbit. maybe he has lost his mind.
the longer he stands there, the worse he feels, both mentally and physically, but he's too stubborn to sit right away. so, he just leans against the door like an idiot, cranky and full of emotions that are settled now somewhere between bitterness and anxiety and dread. he has to assume with all that noise that - if this lady knew him, then... jiaoqiu's probably okay, but he...
... maybe it'd be better to see for himself. ]
no subject
but after a moment, when it seems to understand he is not going to get back into bed, it jumps off the bed and headbutts his ankle. gets his attention, only to tap a paw on the door. open please.
and if he does, it'll lead him out into the main living space, where lingsha is sitting next to a cot. it's hard to see who is in the cot, but if he squints he can probably see the red-stained pink tail hanging off the side of it. there's a beat, and lingsha looks up, frowning.
"... You should be in bed," she says, with a resigned sort of expression like she knows that he's not going to go lay down again. she glances at the bunny, who thumps its foot again and then bounces over to go curl up by her feet. ]
no subject
he stares for a second, processing but not quite processing that there are words being said, not quite processing anything but that fluff of pink just in his vision. it's another whammy of emotions - whatever those dumb fucking borisin said, and then the look on his face and all of those injuries, and darius giving over information, and...
there's that twist again. guilt and anxiety and that bitter upset misery, until it feels like he's going to be sick. none of it shows on his face as he leans against the doorway, and does not lay down, folding his arms and jerking his head towards jiaoqiu. ]
How's he?
[ very polite ]
no subject
"He's alive. And he'll be fine, if he rests." she reaches down and scoops the bunny up off the floor. "He should be awake soon. If you're not going to sleep, you can make yourself useful and come sit with him until he does."
she picks herself up off the chair, and moves out of the way.
"He was asking for you earlier. I don't think he was awake, but he was saying what I assume is your name. Therion?" ]
no subject
is he, though? is jiaoqiu going to be able to come back from this? that dead look in his eyes is one he's seen before, after all. and then - why does he care, should he care? he thinks about jiaoqiu half dead and being the linchpin to get therion free from the borisin's mouth with the last of his energy, and he's feeling tired all over again.
and a little uncomfortable, but that's not really anyone's fault but his own. he doesn't need to be having all these feelings in front of someone, and this lady did save his life, probably, so, after a stilted beat, therion nods. ]
...yeah. [ and then. ] Thanks.
[ for the medical treatment, for saving his life, for...saving jiaoqiu's life, for showing up in the nick of time. he owes gratitude, and he's not unwilling to say it when he needs to. that, and he's gonna have to pay for this somehow, but that's a problem for future therion as he pushes himself off the doorframe and makes his way over, resting his hand on the back of the chair, and actually looking down at jiaoqiu, now. he doesn't sit until lingsha is gone. ]
no subject
and then she's off, carrying the bunny off to another part of the house to give the two of them some privacy.
jiaoqiu is just as bandaged as therion - his shirt is off, so they're very visible, across his torso and arm. his leg is in a brace, and he's mostly clean of blood, though his fur and hair is still stained in places. he looks particularly frail, pale, but he's breathing, and it's not ragged or gasping. whatever magic lingsha has seems to have at least made it so that he is not missing chunks of flesh, but he's got a huge bruise on his cheek and a nasty claw mark across the side of his face that extends down to his neck and shoulder. not as bad as it had been, but... still.
when therion sits, jiaoqiu's ear flicks. and he shifts, expression contorting into something pained, though he's not all the way awake just yet. there's a mumbled word that sounds familiar, as he struggles to pull himself to consciousness. ]
no subject
he should've known this was going to happen. he should've taken jiaoqiu away. he should've - he should've left, bolted out of town months ago. now they're both in danger, and god knows for how long that's going to be. that doesn't even begin to unpack the other problems, but it's whats on his mind as he stares at that claw mark, so vibrant and bright against the rest of him, a claw straight through that play-pretend that the past couple of days were.
he's got his arms folded when he sits, tense and tight, but - watching jiaoqiu start to mumble and stir, therion exhales out, a short, annoyed sounding sigh, and mutters - ] Did you not hear her? She said rest, idiot. Don't start trying to get up, now. [ and lifts his hands, only he pauses - he's not sure what to do with his hands. he's not sure how to help.
he's not sure if he could even touch without breaking. whether its himself or jiaoqiu that might shatter, its hard to say. his hands stay hovering in the air. ]
no subject
no, it's probably not that intricate, but there is something in him that senses the distress. it takes a second, but he follows that voice, and after a moment, his gold eyes blearily open and try to focus. silence, for a moment, and then he sucks in a sharp breath, a little panicky, because his vision isn't gone, but the claw mark across his cheek makes it a little difficult to open that eye and it's just so, so similar, he can still smell the borisin and the blood and he's a little lost in it. he can see, but what if it fades, what if someone comes to him and says, i'm sorry, you should be sitting down for this, it's just that the general...
therion's hand hovers, and jiaoqiu grabs for it, fingers scrabbling - misses the first time, and then tries again, with a much more clear: ]
Therion.
no subject
his hands are cold, but he's there. familiar, rough palms, scratched in old scars. fluttery pulse, when he scrabbles, but still there. ]
Take - [ ngh. ] Take it easy, fluff, I'm right here.
[ he is so bad at being comforting in every way shape or form, but therion's not stupid, either. he knows exactly why jiaoqiu is reacting like that, exactly what he must be thinking. and for a second, whatever awful thoughts he was having are pushed off to the wayside, because his entire attention is taken up with trying to keep jiaoqiu from running off down that path when he doesn't have to. he's... here. for whatever fucking reason, he's here. ]
no subject
his chest heaves with it, which hurts all over. he doesn't feel a lot, sometimes, but that doesn't extend to the physical. he's a noodle with absolutely no pain tolerance, and it makes him wince horribly when he moves wrong. he freezes, sucking in another sharp breath and trying to calm down. alive. they're both alive. therion is here. it's not really a surprise, but it's such a relief in so many ways that he chokes a bit, forgetting that he has to breathe.
he's shaking, but he holds that hand like a lifeline, and for the first time in a very long time he doesn't immediately have to fight off the void. he's so, so awake, staring at therion like he's not sure he's real. ]
You... where...
no subject
oh. jiaoqiu's asking a question. therion bites the inside of his cheek, hard. he's holding onto him like a lifeboat. he can't let him drown. ]
Hell if I know. [ he thinks he's asking where they are? if its something else, oh well. there's a beat, because he does at least know this part, and he adds, a little quieter - ] ...Your doctor friend.
[ lingsha, or whatever. ]
no subject
Are you... all right? [ he asks, haltingly. ] You... came for...
[ deep breath. he looks therion over, trying to find and catalog his injuries, forgetting about his own. it hurts, but he has a very vivid memory of a borisin getting his teeth into therion's arm, and he passed out before he could see the extent of the damage. ]
no subject
[ asking after him, after all of that. he's not surprised, which is the worst part. a beat passes. another. his fingers curl around jiaoqiu's when his tremor worsens, tentatively. a feral creature with withdrawn claws. ]
I'm fine. [ ... ] You were gone for too long.
[ for once, his paranoia came in handy. it shouldn't have had to, but it did. ]
no subject
... I'm sorry. [ he says, after a moment, closing his eyes. ] I was cornered. They took... my phone. I wanted to... come back. So I went with... with them.
[ it's the only time he's had some measure of survival instinct in years. they could've killed him, but therion was waiting for him. he couldn't do that to him. he couldn't leave therion to find his corpse somewhere.
therion's hand is cold, but that's okay. jiaoqiu's are normally freezing - he's usually got no body heat to speak of, despite everything - but right now he's all overheated. probably a fever, he thinks absently. therion's hand feels good on his skin. ]
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there's a long pause before he says anything, his face turned away. ]
Right. They would've let you come back.
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No... but I would be alive. [ he says, opening his eyes to look at therion. ] I would have... found some way to escape. Somehow.
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[ it comes out sharp, sharper than he means it to. angry, because that's all he ever knows how to show. it comes from a different place, though, this time. worry and frustration, something fierce, something angry. ]
Guy seemed thrilled to have you back in there. [ and whose fault was that? he thinks about he's an informant and how dissonant it felt with the condition jiaoqiu was in, and it snarls unhappily in his stomach. ] The only way you were getting out was in a body bag.
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[ he says, finally, to the first part. because he doesn't really want to be dead. he doesn't always want to be alive, but that doesn't mean death is preferable. the anger gets him - he knows this is how therion shows concern, but there's a weird tinge to it that he can't quite figure out. his overheated brain works overtime as he tries to make sense of what this anger means. obviously, therion's frustrated, but he can't figure out if it's because he's angry at jiaoqiu for being cornered, or injured, or something else. it does not occur to him that therion might be angry at himself. ]
You came to get me. [ ... ] You... almost died, to get me.
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you almost died, he says, and therion scoffs - it hurts his still recovering body, but he doesn't care. ]
Yeah, well - you wouldn't have even been in that situation if it wasn't for me.
[ it's out of his mouth before he has any time to really think about it. he thinks about darius' smug fucking face on the way out. how he's going to be seeing it in his nightmares all over again, fresh and infuriating.
another pause. and then, roughly - ] You almost died.
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silence, for a moment, and then he slowly shifts therion's fingers to his pulse. lets him feel it against his neck. it's a little slow, but it's there. he strokes therion's hand with his thumb. slowly, the shaking is easing up. ]
Is that what you think? That... it's your fault? [ he asks, soft. ] It wasn't. It was an inevitability for me, whether... I'd met you or not.
[ ... ]
I'm not dead. I'm here.
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it's just. it's jiaoqiu, being jiaoqiu, as usual. ]
Stop - stop, stop trying to comfort me, you - [ god he could shake jiaoqiu. he won't, but oh, he could shake him. the problem is he doesn't even know what he wants to say - he feels like a livewire, about three seconds from jittering out of his skin. he shouldn't be here. he should be - he doesn't even know what, anymore, and he scrubs his hand over his face, harshly, over his bad eye. ] God.
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jiaoqiu has shitty self worth, but he's not stupid. he can see this. he knows that he's a lost cause, because the first thing he thought about when he woke up was whether or not therion survived. ]
Therion.
[ he mumbles, watching him. ]
What do you think happened?
[ what did you hear? let him explain, let him help. let him connect, stop putting up that wall. he wants in, he needs in. ]
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god. therion takes a breath from behind his other hand. inhale, exhale, drags his other hand down his face and drops it into his lap. ]
Information trade. [ a pause - his eyes flick back to jiaoqiu's face, again. ] Did you work for him?
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