[ okay, well, therion gets pinched, because jiaoqiu cannot just let the sass fly without retaliation, but it's not hard and he soothes the skin after, brushing his fingers gently over the abused bit. ]
Your waist was... [ he starts, like he's trying to figure out how to describe why he's into it. a beat. ] I wanted to get my hands around it.
[ he punctuates this by sliding his hand down to rest on therion's side, the slight curve where his hip slopes. ]
I don't see you like that often. Your clothes are oversized. It hides you. [ not that that's a bad thing, it's just kind of like, oh! wow! he's got a a teeny waist and jiaoqiu has a lot of self control except for when it comes to wanting to fuck his tiny thief stupid, apparently. another little yawn. ]
I imagine there are things that drive you to base instinct as well.
[ he can't... think of anything about himself that would inspire that, because his self esteem is very poor, but hey. ]
[ there's a soft huff of a laugh when he gets pinched - his shoulders shake just once, amused at his own joke, but he listens. it is true, he does prefer to wear big clothes - a big hoodie, a poncho, layers on layers, anything to hide his shape. he doesn't really like to be perceived in any way, shape, or form, as a general rule.
but, well. with jiaoqiu... mmf. he starts to say something else, and then reverts to the sarcasm instead, muttering: ] I'm not the one with animal instincts.
[ there probably is something that can get therion riled up. he's slammed jiaoqiu into a wall once or twice over it, jumped him before he got a word out and fucked him silly. embarrassingly, the things that have gotten him the most riled have often been things that were softer in nature? moments where jiaoqiu proved therion's trust was well placed were the things that made him launch himself at him like a feral creature, which is both embarrassing and not something he wants to admit out loud no matter how comfortable he is, how floaty he feels.
after a moment of quiet, his eyes sliding shut, he thinks a little longer, and he says: ]
... You're the only one who gets to. [ it's a little bit of a non sequitir, a little stilted. ] See me that way. In general.
[ not just with the fucky costume, either - he gets a little embarrassed after he says it, and after a beat, he sets his hand gently on top of his, and leaves it there. ]
[ he smiles a little at that, genuinely, the animal instincts comment. he wriggles a little, like he's reminding them both that he's still inside therion, and then immediately regrets that because the zing of sensation it sends up his spine makes him hiss a bit. herugh. ]
You like it. [ he says, after a moment, tail wagging slightly behind him. another beat, and then very carefully he will pull out of therion because it's starting to get uncomfortable, but he does not let therion go anywhere. he likes it here and he will be enjoying his time getting to cuddle therion without therion complaining about it for thirty minutes.
and then he tells jiaoqiu that much, and - it's silly. he shouldn't get emotional about it, and, well, he doesn't, not really, not overly so. he does press a kiss to therion's cheek when he says so - and his heart clenches in his chest at the idea of being the only person therion lets see him like that. he knows the amount of trust and love that lives in that statement, and he keeps it close. holds onto it. another way to keep him grounded, here.
it's been months since he's gone under. it's wild.
jiaoqiu links their fingers loosely. ]
Well, that's good. [ he murmurs, lightly. ] Or I'd have to challenge someone to a duel, and we both know how that'd end.
[ he's joking, but the way he takes therion's hand and slides them up to rest over his chest, still clasped together - he hopes that gets across that he understands. ]
[ the noise comes out of his mouth as more of complaint than anything else, eyes screwing shut because not only is he still oversensitive, but it's a little cold and very wet, and he grumbles, ] Don't lose it again.
[ considering!!! before!!! but it's once again completely lacking heat. therion doesn't react much beyond a slight shiver when jiaoqiu does finally pull out, and it's in this moment that, for all of the jokes he's made at jiaoqiu in the past couple of hours, it's hard to miss what those animal instincts left behind? messy, it's still messy, and he is still full, and therion's nose wrinkles, but he shifts a little to not make it worse, and lets jiaoqiu just come back to cuddle with him, a little embarrassed and a little put out, but mostly for the sake of grumbling and nothing else.
it makes a good, if brief, distraction from all the feelings, from the hand resting over his chest - heartbeat, predictably jumping a beat or two - and his fingers curl gently in jiaoqiu's. wordlessly, it gets across, and he likes it that way, okay to sit with it just like that.
though he snorts at jiaoqiu's joke, it's softer than usual, rumbly from his chest, and he has to muffle a yawn into his shoulder as they settle into place. his body's so tired - all of his edges have truly been sanded off. ]
[ therion is very generous to think that jiaoqiu has anything left in him, honestly.
for now, he lets therion settle, because he doesn't want to pull away - he doesn't want to pass up on this. therion is soft and sleepy, and jiaoqiu loves him, he does, he loves every part of him, but this is so rare. he's going to take advantage of it, holding therion warmly against him, stroking his hand with his thumb.
jiaoqiu isn't extraordinarily clingy in their usual day to day, but like this, in their bed, especially after sex, he's cuddly. it means something to him, to have something sweet like this. he's had love before, he's had someone pet his hair after an orgasm, but. the last time that he was with someone, that person hurt him, tore chunks out of him, over and over. metaphorically, but sometimes literally, too.
therion is as far away from hoolay as possible, and jiaoqiu is the complete opposite of darius, and that suits them both well. so. for now, for a good while, jiaoqiu just cuddles therion. holds his hand.
[ thank god he doesn't. that might kill them both.
at any rate - held warm and safe and gentle, with a warm body at his back, the tail over his legs, it's getting really hard to keep his eyes open. because that's what he feels, above all - safe. and safety is priceless, for someone like therion. safe to fall apart in his arms. safe to show a little vulnerability. safe to sleep. he sleeps more soundly than he ever has in his entire life, months out from the nightmare in the last city, curled up next to jiaoqiu. sometimes cuddled up close, sometimes not.
in every indication of that safety and trust, he's already dozing off - his eyelids feel heavy, and his breathing's slowing down, his quickened heartbeat having settled into place safe and sound, fingers still loosely laced with his. when he speaks up, it stirs him awake, but he keeps his eyes closed, and grunts. ] Mnh?
he probably hasn't said this since the first time, or at least, not out loud. he says it in the way he adjusts his recipes for therion, the way he holds open doors and tucks therion's hair behind his ear, but it scares both of them when it's in words, so he's been... careful. but right now, he feels it so brightly that he doesn't want to let it pass, either. silence, for a moment, as he noses at therion, and tells himself, don't chicken out. don't back away.
he holds therion a little more tightly, like he's afraid, and then, soft: ]
[ it's not the first time he's said it - in the comfortable, sleep warm haze of the moment, for once, it doesn't feel as terrifying. it just sort of is a fact of the universe. none of jiaoqiu's gestures go unnoticed, and sometimes that's the problem. sometimes it scares him, makes him skitter just out of reach, but things have gotten better, in the months and months that have passed between them. it's what he needs, those little reminders, those unspoken moments of affection that are something he never even really realized he needed so badly, things that make his heart flutter embarrassingly, starved for the attention but terrified of it all the same.
he's quiet, as if he might have dozed back off, but eventually, he curls his hand where jiaoqiu is resting his on therion's, and after a beat, laces their fingers together and holds, curls around the hand near his chest a little closer like it's the most precious treasure in the world. (because it is.)
he's much the same as jiaoqiu - therion shows it in his gestures. he brings home things he knows jiaoqiu will like like a cat, steals him pretty trinkets and useful tools, hides them in places he knows he'll find them. he gets fussy, worries, tries to take care of him in ways that awkward and sharp and clumsy, gets upset when he's cruel to himself, when he's not taking care of himself. here and there, he's quietly affectionate, picking up jiaoqiu's arm and placing himself underneath it without saying anything or acknowledging it, leaning into his side when they go places together on the train. and maybe most importantly, therion lets jiaoqiu in. into his life. into his bed. into his too big, too vulnerable heart, having built a door into the walls he's spent the past several years constructing into place. it's slow going, sometimes, but it's steady. they really have come a long way.
in this soft, sleepy moment, he mumbles something unintelligible - the words slurred together, but he curls around that hand tight and holds onto it, warm against his chest. ]
[ well, therion doesn't roll off the bed and hide under it, so jiaoqiu takes that as a good sign.
more seriously - there's no tensing or freaking out or anything, and jiaoqiu is content with that. it's even better when therion holds his hold a little more tightly. it means he heard it, and that's what matters.
quietly, jiaoqiu curls a little closer - he hears the mumble, but he doesn't think too hard about it. as much as he'd like to hear the words back, he can live without them - he sees it. he knows it's there, every time therion slides close to him, every time he finds exactly the right ingredients that he needs for something he'd offhandedly mentioned. they take care of each other. and jiaoqiu is determined to do his best. it's nice to have purpose again. it's nice to feel like he's alive again, more than that. he feels it the most when therion clings to him like this, takes the affection without complaint.
for now, therion curls around his hand, and jiaoqiu shifts his tail to use it as a blanket, warming him, stroking his hand with his thumb. he's going to wait for therion to fall asleep before he tries to get up, because he wants to clean him off and clean him up, but there's a good chance he's going to fall asleep too before he can even get to it. ]
[ it doesn't take long - he's asleep again in seconds. it's a light doze, but his breathing evens out, his grip loosening just a little. he doesn't let go, though, holding on like a lifeline. warm, safe, and steady. sleepy. content. emotions therion really only got to feel with jiaoqiu, things he's still learning how to navigate.
which. if jiaoqiu does doze off, there's no problem - but since he falls asleep so quickly, maybe no? and if jiaoqiu does get up, while therion doesn't say anything, when he returns to the room, he'll see therion is looking at him through half lidded eyes, his bad one just barely visible through his messy bangs, head still on the pillow. he's not under a blanket or anything, but he looks comfortable, and he's watching jiaoqiu's movements, much like a cat curled up in a corner keeps track of their person's every move. ]
[ he gets up slowly, like it's going to stop therion from waking up. he makes a tsk sound when he comes back into the room from the bathroom, seeing his eyes half open. just a fussy little noise, gentle. ]
Go back to sleep, little wolf. [ he fake-scolds, coming over to settle back on the bed. he's got a couple of washcloths in hand, wet and warm, and he intends on cleaning up the mess he made out of therion. and the mess therion made out of himself, honestly. his brain is still settled firmly in claiming territory, so this isn't so much because he wants them to be clean so much as he just wants to spoil therion. aftercare.
movements soft, jiaoqiu brings a hand up to stroke through therion's hair, just petting him. ]
Relax.
[ not an order, just a request, as he brings a warm washcloth to start wiping therion down. ]
[ the little pet name's been around for a while, but it always gets a reaction - a vaguely amused huff, in this case, a slightly wry smile. a little wolf, a little beast, named and tossed away, here being cared for as tenderly as could be. what a strange world his life has become.
he does not go back to sleep, because he won't be able to now. too much motion, and he never sleeps through being touched, ever, but he's not too fussed. all of his limbs feel like lead, so he's especially compliant, blinking slowly at him from where he's settled. again, like a cat, and subtly, his head tilts up when jiaoqiu runs his fingers through his hair. it's softer than it used to be, cleaner and fluffier - evidence of the latest variation on his life, evidence of having a place to come back to.
slowly, his eyes close again, and the first touch of the washcloth gets goosebumps, but he nestles his cheek a little further into the pillow, acquiescing him to go on. ]
Always bitching at me about making a mess, and you're worse about it. [ when he does talk, his voice is sleep rough and low, warm - words laced with a little lazy amusement. talking helps him not focus too much on how careful jiaoqiu is being. and... maybe he can learn something from it. he's not exactly delicate when he returns the favor when things are switched. ]
[ once he's finished with this he intends to make therion nap with him, so it's okay. he can stay awake for now. especially if it means he talks to jiaoqiu in that voice, low and rough, relaxed. his ear flicks, and then eases down, comfortable. ]
I clean up when I'm done. [ he says primly, but it's just teasing, like usual. his heart is too warm from the way therion sleepily blinks at him, the tilt of his head. affection drips from him, from his hands and from his expression, in a way it doesn't in the day to day. not because he doesn't feel it, but because he's always so scared to show it plainly. he tries, because he knows therion finds it difficult too, because one of them has to be the one to cross the gap, but it isn't easy to hold out his heart. it's ruined, torn through by the loss of two people he had made his life around - crushed and ripped further by a borisin who used him as he pleased, gave him life in a way that was never safe, just adrenaline-fueled, heart beating out of fear and not safety. it's something, to allow a creature whose biology is specifically tuned to terrify you to touch you when you're stripped of all protection.
but it's been better, here. he's been gathering all the broken pieces of glass and forming them back into a heart. here, in the warmth of their little place together, in a bed that smells like them and a trust that keeps getting reinforced, it's okay to give affection. it won't be rejected. it won't be taunted. they can pull each other apart and put each other back together.
gently, he runs the washcloth over therion's back, making sure the scratch marks are clean. and then leans down, pressing kisses to his back, following the path. he doesn't need to handle therion this way, and he knows that it isn't needed, but he's thinking still, a bit, about how therion reacted to what he said earlier and he wants to put distance between therion's previous encounters and this. this is good. jiaoqiu will take care of him, even after he's done taking his pleasure. ]
[ there's a soft, rumbly laugh to that, more of a lazy chuckle than anything - he watches jiaoqiu for a little while longer, watching his ears ease down. jiaoqiu's hard to read sometimes, but therion's learned him beyond just his body language. he's always been observant, and he took getting to know a foxian in relative stride, but now he knows him intimately, and in this moment, it's kind of nice to see him so relaxed. though, he has to laugh a little about it, internally - of course he's relaxed, he just came like five times. marked change from a couple hours ago.
his eyes close again, slow, as jiaoqiu cleans his back. he's got those little scratches from his claws - they lay over older ones, nearly healed, newly scratched, over and over - red marks from the belt still half strung around his waist, and bruises on his hips, smatterings of marks. spots where jiaoqiu left something behind, all visible and clear against his tan skin, standing out among all of his scars and prior injuries, against the sharp backdrop of his lean muscle. fresh marks, but marks that came not from a battered life, but from fooling around with an overexcited fox.
the kisses make something in his chest squeeze, hard. he thinks about protesting - you don't have to do that - but he knows he'll fuss about i, and he doesn't, but he turns his face a little further into the pillows, feeling heat at the back of his neck. it's the equivalent of ducking his face into a scarf, a hoodie, hiding a little from the enormity of his emotions. he doesn't shy out of the affection, even if that's his first instinct.
no - instead, when he speaks up again, it's muffled. a little deadpan. ] ... Front's worse.
[ a sort of distraction, but the truth? he feels squirmy. ]
Nagging you means that we sleep in a bed that isn't wet and sticky.
[ therion can probably tell jiaoqiu is tired - not in a bad way, just in the sort of way that he's going to be very eager to make a nest and use therion as a teddy bear.
he's insistent about making sure that therion is wiped down fully - he doesn't get in depth, obviously, but he makes sure that therion isn't going to leak out onto their sheets too terribly because jiaoqiu was overzealous about coming inside him like three times. he gets the back of therion's legs, his lower back, and makes sure there aren't any cuts or scratches that might get infected before he's satisfied. well, more satisfied. seeing all of those marks he left behind soothes him in a very specific way. he's real. the void isn't all he is, and he has proof.
it's only when he's finished with all that that he answers therion, turning where he's leaned close to kiss his face like a brat. ]
Then turn over, hm? [ he says, running his hand over therion's back, and also his butt, because he can. that's his, he thinks, perhaps a little smugly. ] Let me see the damage.
[ it is probably a good thing that he's fucked out because the sight of the costume being wrecked is going to do things to his brain. terrible. ]
[ he makes a little bit of a face about this, mostly complaining as he cleans up the mess he left behind, which is very embarrassing, and therion drops his face into the pillows and shifts a little to help out where necessary. jiaoqiu left plenty of marks on him, from hickies and scratches to still just so stretched muscles and still red skin.
he rolls his eyes as he's kissed at, turning his cheek away from it also like a brat, and yet still presses a little into his hands, lets him touch whatever he wants, and is honestly invested in being less sticky, so. despite the complaining, he shifts, pushing himself up on his arms, lazily kicks his underwear and the pants off of his foot and down on the ground, and then rolls over.
and as expected, there is a lot of damage! the silk of the top is rucked and wrinkled everywhere, a couple of the bells and coins seconds from falling off. the piece around his neck's crooked, the pretty, gauzy sleeves stuck to his arms in a variety of places from sweating so much. the waist belt that jiaoqiu reattached is still in decent shape if very loose, and beyond that - well, the worst part of it actually is the sticky mess of his own release, which is smeared all over his front from both actually coming and jiaoqiu rubbing it in, all over his muscles, the pretty costume, the belt, even a little up by his chin. he's all scratched up from jiaoqiu's claws, covered in hickies, just - a mess.
this feels very embarrassing - after a minute, he turns his gaze away fiercely, bringing a hand up to clear his throat and turning red down to his collarbones, more awake than he was thirty seconds ago if only because he was embarrassed. ]
[ okay, but the plus side of this is that therion gets to make fun of him a little bit because the neurons in jiaoqiu's brain just like, Activate at seeing the silk all covered. he cannot help this. it's just extremely hot to him to take something so pretty and delicate and mess it up. maybe it's a reflection of what he likes having done to him, but he's not going to examine that too closely. it's fine, he just ignores how his tail poofs up a little when he sees it, expression showing just a flash of the oh, hot emotion before he settles.
still gentle, he sighs out slow and grabs for a clean washcloth. wipes him down, but it's in a way where it's less about the efficiency and more about trying to relax therion. he knows therion is embarrassed, but the only way he's going to get him used to this is through exposure. there's nothing to be embarrassed about, jiaoqiu thinks, and he makes sure to not be amused or snarky or anything, just... kind. he doesn't want therion to feel humiliated or bad for being treated like he's worth something.
he drags the cloth over his inner thighs, over his length, stomach, chest - cleans the bit under his chin, all without comment, just a serene look. any claw marks get special attention from a fresh cloth, making sure they're not covered in dried blood. he traces the grooves of therion's body, eyes on the details - appreciating his muscles, the lithe way he stretches, the way the sleeves of the dancer top stick to his arms, the harsh gold belt against tan skin. he resists the urge to fuckin' lick therion clean, like an insane person. the thought does cross his mind, especially when he's down by therion's dick, but the point of this is not to be horny, it's to - well. groom, kind of, for as much as therion makes fun of him for it.
the belt comes off. and once he's done with that, he sets the washcloth away and brings his hands up to that silk top, and tugs it up. off this goes, too. they can both be fully naked. ]
[ help. the poofy tail draws his attention, when he does peek, finally - he snorts and ducks his head back, closing his eye again. ]
Thank fuck you're lazy.
[ is he lazy. three times is a lot of times? this is a joke, though, because clearly both of them are spent, and he's ragging on himself too, but it's also kind of funny to watch jiaoqiu poof up like that.
and slowly, bit by bit, he lets himself float into his own afterglow, lets that kind of lazy, sleepy feeling take over. the cloth running over his body is warm, and the touch is tender, gentle. it always kills him when jiaoqiu does anything like this, treats therion like something to be treasured, more kindness than the world's ever afforded him, than he's ever afforded himself. he's cooperative for once, slowly lifting his chin, pressing up just a little bit upwards when he cleans off his torso. there's no give to any of him, all hard angles and lean muscles, but jiaoqiu treats him gently, anyway. it's starting to feel a little overwhelming, if at a distance, that sticky feeling his chest making him feel tingly all over, making it feel heavy to breathe, and after a long, long time of him cleaning, he finally lifts his head enough to peek at him. his expression is a little unsure, almost shy, but not so much because he doesn't like it, but because he barely knows how to react.
it's a blink and you'll miss it kind of thing, peeking at him, kissed bruised mouth a little open, brows slightly knit, and then the stupid belt is coming off and it fades away. therion sags and mutters: ] Finally.
[ and then kindly helps in getting out of the stupid costume top. it is gross and makes too much noise, though he got plenty of good use out of it between riling jiaoqiu up and gathering help for primrose, so. maybe it was worth it, in the end.
he sits up as he divests himself of the top and shakes himself out, relieved to be quiet again, and then looks at jiaoqiu. just.. looks at him, for a second, takes in the state of him, and after a second, says, soft and sleep warm still, rough all around the edges: ] ... C'mere.
[ and shifts where he's settled, still sitting up, making space for jiaoqiu to come over. ]
[ this is a note that therion makes that first joke and jiaoqiu makes a full on face at him. just like, cat no like banana nyeh at him, because sometimes he likes to pretend he's a toddler.
anyway, eventually he finishes up, and he tosses the top away to the ground. goodbye, dancer outfit, you served him so well. he really does need to thank primrose somehow, without facing her. maybe he will send her flowers. or like, ask her what her favorite food is and make it for her. without looking her in the eye, because they were so loud tonight that there's no way someone didn't hear. god.
but! he yawns, and goes easily to therion when he asks. it's nothing, to just let therion's sleep-warm voice pull him in. his ears are droopy and he's definitely lost most of his energy. he doesn't know what therion intends to do, but he crawls over and rests his head against therion's shoulder, ready to just tuck himself in. ]
[ he is in fact a toddler. it's okay, it's not like therion is any better.
once jiaoqiu listens and comes over, he lets him settle - his weight is warm against his chest, against his shoulder, and it's settling, is starting to make him kind of sleepy again.
but, once he settles down, therion lifts his hands - and after a beat, starts to gently untangle some of the knots in his hair, combing his thin fingers through absently. he doesn't say anything, but it's kind of a soothing motion, maybe for both of them.
he'll keep combing through his hair, and eventually, starts to fix his side braid, too. ]
[ whether they're sitting or not, he pulls a blanket up to settle over them. at the very least over their laps, so they're not entirely exposed to the cold night air. once he's settled in place, comfortable and curled up, his tail comes around and wraps around therion too.
and then the fingers start pulling through his hair, brushing it out, and jiaoqiu goes absolutely boneless. with a shivery little sigh, he leans up and noses at therion's jaw, and then just stays there, sleepily letting therion comb his hair. this is heaven. this is the best thing to ever happen to him.
there may or may not be foxian purr sounds happening. ]
bundled up under the tail and the blanket, he is warm and comfortable, sated and relaxed, for once in his life, and having jiaoqiu just kind of melt against him like that is nice, too. it feels good. it feels... really good, to be relaxed and not feel like maybe another shoe is going to drop any second now.
braiding is a weird skill to have - a simple one, when you're a thief- but he weaves the braid back into its normal spot, fixing where he fucked it up. it'll have a little curl to it, in the morning, from all that sweat, but secretly, he kind of likes it when it does that, too. braid finished, he just slides his fingers through his hair, and slowly leans back against the pillows with his arms full of fox.
and if his temple shifts a little to rest against his, well, he won't say anything about it. he just rests in that sleepy moment, quietly content - laughs a little, when he makes that little purr noise. ]
[ he just really likes being groomed back!! it's been so long since he's had someone play with his hair, actually, he's had to braid it himself for the last however long.
back against the pillows they go, and he hums, wrapping his arms around therion, closing his eyes. this is a fast track to make him fall asleep, honestly. it's mostly because like therion, this is safe. there is no fear of being upended. he never sleeps so soundly as he does when therion is in bed with him.
the laugh, though - his ear flicks in therion's face. probably on purpose, he's a brat. ]
I don't know what you're talking about. [ he says, still very obviously purring. where is therion's hand. he wants to hold one of them, he liked that from earlier. keep the other one in his hair though, he likes that too. bossy. ]
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Your waist was... [ he starts, like he's trying to figure out how to describe why he's into it. a beat. ] I wanted to get my hands around it.
[ he punctuates this by sliding his hand down to rest on therion's side, the slight curve where his hip slopes. ]
I don't see you like that often. Your clothes are oversized. It hides you. [ not that that's a bad thing, it's just kind of like, oh! wow! he's got a a teeny waist and jiaoqiu has a lot of self control except for when it comes to wanting to fuck his tiny thief stupid, apparently. another little yawn. ]
I imagine there are things that drive you to base instinct as well.
[ he can't... think of anything about himself that would inspire that, because his self esteem is very poor, but hey. ]
no subject
but, well. with jiaoqiu... mmf. he starts to say something else, and then reverts to the sarcasm instead, muttering: ] I'm not the one with animal instincts.
[ there probably is something that can get therion riled up. he's slammed jiaoqiu into a wall once or twice over it, jumped him before he got a word out and fucked him silly. embarrassingly, the things that have gotten him the most riled have often been things that were softer in nature? moments where jiaoqiu proved therion's trust was well placed were the things that made him launch himself at him like a feral creature, which is both embarrassing and not something he wants to admit out loud no matter how comfortable he is, how floaty he feels.
after a moment of quiet, his eyes sliding shut, he thinks a little longer, and he says: ]
... You're the only one who gets to. [ it's a little bit of a non sequitir, a little stilted. ] See me that way. In general.
[ not just with the fucky costume, either - he gets a little embarrassed after he says it, and after a beat, he sets his hand gently on top of his, and leaves it there. ]
no subject
You like it. [ he says, after a moment, tail wagging slightly behind him. another beat, and then very carefully he will pull out of therion because it's starting to get uncomfortable, but he does not let therion go anywhere. he likes it here and he will be enjoying his time getting to cuddle therion without therion complaining about it for thirty minutes.
and then he tells jiaoqiu that much, and - it's silly. he shouldn't get emotional about it, and, well, he doesn't, not really, not overly so. he does press a kiss to therion's cheek when he says so - and his heart clenches in his chest at the idea of being the only person therion lets see him like that. he knows the amount of trust and love that lives in that statement, and he keeps it close. holds onto it. another way to keep him grounded, here.
it's been months since he's gone under. it's wild.
jiaoqiu links their fingers loosely. ]
Well, that's good. [ he murmurs, lightly. ] Or I'd have to challenge someone to a duel, and we both know how that'd end.
[ he's joking, but the way he takes therion's hand and slides them up to rest over his chest, still clasped together - he hopes that gets across that he understands. ]
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[ the noise comes out of his mouth as more of complaint than anything else, eyes screwing shut because not only is he still oversensitive, but it's a little cold and very wet, and he grumbles, ] Don't lose it again.
[ considering!!! before!!! but it's once again completely lacking heat. therion doesn't react much beyond a slight shiver when jiaoqiu does finally pull out, and it's in this moment that, for all of the jokes he's made at jiaoqiu in the past couple of hours, it's hard to miss what those animal instincts left behind? messy, it's still messy, and he is still full, and therion's nose wrinkles, but he shifts a little to not make it worse, and lets jiaoqiu just come back to cuddle with him, a little embarrassed and a little put out, but mostly for the sake of grumbling and nothing else.
it makes a good, if brief, distraction from all the feelings, from the hand resting over his chest - heartbeat, predictably jumping a beat or two - and his fingers curl gently in jiaoqiu's. wordlessly, it gets across, and he likes it that way, okay to sit with it just like that.
though he snorts at jiaoqiu's joke, it's softer than usual, rumbly from his chest, and he has to muffle a yawn into his shoulder as they settle into place. his body's so tired - all of his edges have truly been sanded off. ]
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for now, he lets therion settle, because he doesn't want to pull away - he doesn't want to pass up on this. therion is soft and sleepy, and jiaoqiu loves him, he does, he loves every part of him, but this is so rare. he's going to take advantage of it, holding therion warmly against him, stroking his hand with his thumb.
jiaoqiu isn't extraordinarily clingy in their usual day to day, but like this, in their bed, especially after sex, he's cuddly. it means something to him, to have something sweet like this. he's had love before, he's had someone pet his hair after an orgasm, but. the last time that he was with someone, that person hurt him, tore chunks out of him, over and over. metaphorically, but sometimes literally, too.
therion is as far away from hoolay as possible, and jiaoqiu is the complete opposite of darius, and that suits them both well. so. for now, for a good while, jiaoqiu just cuddles therion. holds his hand.
and after that while, he murmurs: ] Therion.
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at any rate - held warm and safe and gentle, with a warm body at his back, the tail over his legs, it's getting really hard to keep his eyes open. because that's what he feels, above all - safe. and safety is priceless, for someone like therion. safe to fall apart in his arms. safe to show a little vulnerability. safe to sleep. he sleeps more soundly than he ever has in his entire life, months out from the nightmare in the last city, curled up next to jiaoqiu. sometimes cuddled up close, sometimes not.
in every indication of that safety and trust, he's already dozing off - his eyelids feel heavy, and his breathing's slowing down, his quickened heartbeat having settled into place safe and sound, fingers still loosely laced with his. when he speaks up, it stirs him awake, but he keeps his eyes closed, and grunts. ] Mnh?
[ yes. what is it. ]
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he probably hasn't said this since the first time, or at least, not out loud. he says it in the way he adjusts his recipes for therion, the way he holds open doors and tucks therion's hair behind his ear, but it scares both of them when it's in words, so he's been... careful. but right now, he feels it so brightly that he doesn't want to let it pass, either. silence, for a moment, as he noses at therion, and tells himself, don't chicken out. don't back away.
he holds therion a little more tightly, like he's afraid, and then, soft: ]
I love you. [ ... ] Sorry to wake you.
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he's quiet, as if he might have dozed back off, but eventually, he curls his hand where jiaoqiu is resting his on therion's, and after a beat, laces their fingers together and holds, curls around the hand near his chest a little closer like it's the most precious treasure in the world. (because it is.)
he's much the same as jiaoqiu - therion shows it in his gestures. he brings home things he knows jiaoqiu will like like a cat, steals him pretty trinkets and useful tools, hides them in places he knows he'll find them. he gets fussy, worries, tries to take care of him in ways that awkward and sharp and clumsy, gets upset when he's cruel to himself, when he's not taking care of himself. here and there, he's quietly affectionate, picking up jiaoqiu's arm and placing himself underneath it without saying anything or acknowledging it, leaning into his side when they go places together on the train. and maybe most importantly, therion lets jiaoqiu in. into his life. into his bed. into his too big, too vulnerable heart, having built a door into the walls he's spent the past several years constructing into place. it's slow going, sometimes, but it's steady. they really have come a long way.
in this soft, sleepy moment, he mumbles something unintelligible - the words slurred together, but he curls around that hand tight and holds onto it, warm against his chest. ]
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more seriously - there's no tensing or freaking out or anything, and jiaoqiu is content with that. it's even better when therion holds his hold a little more tightly. it means he heard it, and that's what matters.
quietly, jiaoqiu curls a little closer - he hears the mumble, but he doesn't think too hard about it. as much as he'd like to hear the words back, he can live without them - he sees it. he knows it's there, every time therion slides close to him, every time he finds exactly the right ingredients that he needs for something he'd offhandedly mentioned. they take care of each other. and jiaoqiu is determined to do his best. it's nice to have purpose again. it's nice to feel like he's alive again, more than that. he feels it the most when therion clings to him like this, takes the affection without complaint.
for now, therion curls around his hand, and jiaoqiu shifts his tail to use it as a blanket, warming him, stroking his hand with his thumb. he's going to wait for therion to fall asleep before he tries to get up, because he wants to clean him off and clean him up, but there's a good chance he's going to fall asleep too before he can even get to it. ]
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which. if jiaoqiu does doze off, there's no problem - but since he falls asleep so quickly, maybe no? and if jiaoqiu does get up, while therion doesn't say anything, when he returns to the room, he'll see therion is looking at him through half lidded eyes, his bad one just barely visible through his messy bangs, head still on the pillow. he's not under a blanket or anything, but he looks comfortable, and he's watching jiaoqiu's movements, much like a cat curled up in a corner keeps track of their person's every move. ]
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Go back to sleep, little wolf. [ he fake-scolds, coming over to settle back on the bed. he's got a couple of washcloths in hand, wet and warm, and he intends on cleaning up the mess he made out of therion. and the mess therion made out of himself, honestly. his brain is still settled firmly in claiming territory, so this isn't so much because he wants them to be clean so much as he just wants to spoil therion. aftercare.
movements soft, jiaoqiu brings a hand up to stroke through therion's hair, just petting him. ]
Relax.
[ not an order, just a request, as he brings a warm washcloth to start wiping therion down. ]
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he does not go back to sleep, because he won't be able to now. too much motion, and he never sleeps through being touched, ever, but he's not too fussed. all of his limbs feel like lead, so he's especially compliant, blinking slowly at him from where he's settled. again, like a cat, and subtly, his head tilts up when jiaoqiu runs his fingers through his hair. it's softer than it used to be, cleaner and fluffier - evidence of the latest variation on his life, evidence of having a place to come back to.
slowly, his eyes close again, and the first touch of the washcloth gets goosebumps, but he nestles his cheek a little further into the pillow, acquiescing him to go on. ]
Always bitching at me about making a mess, and you're worse about it. [ when he does talk, his voice is sleep rough and low, warm - words laced with a little lazy amusement. talking helps him not focus too much on how careful jiaoqiu is being. and... maybe he can learn something from it. he's not exactly delicate when he returns the favor when things are switched. ]
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I clean up when I'm done. [ he says primly, but it's just teasing, like usual. his heart is too warm from the way therion sleepily blinks at him, the tilt of his head. affection drips from him, from his hands and from his expression, in a way it doesn't in the day to day. not because he doesn't feel it, but because he's always so scared to show it plainly. he tries, because he knows therion finds it difficult too, because one of them has to be the one to cross the gap, but it isn't easy to hold out his heart. it's ruined, torn through by the loss of two people he had made his life around - crushed and ripped further by a borisin who used him as he pleased, gave him life in a way that was never safe, just adrenaline-fueled, heart beating out of fear and not safety. it's something, to allow a creature whose biology is specifically tuned to terrify you to touch you when you're stripped of all protection.
but it's been better, here. he's been gathering all the broken pieces of glass and forming them back into a heart. here, in the warmth of their little place together, in a bed that smells like them and a trust that keeps getting reinforced, it's okay to give affection. it won't be rejected. it won't be taunted. they can pull each other apart and put each other back together.
gently, he runs the washcloth over therion's back, making sure the scratch marks are clean. and then leans down, pressing kisses to his back, following the path. he doesn't need to handle therion this way, and he knows that it isn't needed, but he's thinking still, a bit, about how therion reacted to what he said earlier and he wants to put distance between therion's previous encounters and this. this is good. jiaoqiu will take care of him, even after he's done taking his pleasure. ]
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[ there's a soft, rumbly laugh to that, more of a lazy chuckle than anything - he watches jiaoqiu for a little while longer, watching his ears ease down. jiaoqiu's hard to read sometimes, but therion's learned him beyond just his body language. he's always been observant, and he took getting to know a foxian in relative stride, but now he knows him intimately, and in this moment, it's kind of nice to see him so relaxed. though, he has to laugh a little about it, internally - of course he's relaxed, he just came like five times. marked change from a couple hours ago.
his eyes close again, slow, as jiaoqiu cleans his back. he's got those little scratches from his claws - they lay over older ones, nearly healed, newly scratched, over and over - red marks from the belt still half strung around his waist, and bruises on his hips, smatterings of marks. spots where jiaoqiu left something behind, all visible and clear against his tan skin, standing out among all of his scars and prior injuries, against the sharp backdrop of his lean muscle. fresh marks, but marks that came not from a battered life, but from fooling around with an overexcited fox.
the kisses make something in his chest squeeze, hard. he thinks about protesting - you don't have to do that - but he knows he'll fuss about i, and he doesn't, but he turns his face a little further into the pillows, feeling heat at the back of his neck. it's the equivalent of ducking his face into a scarf, a hoodie, hiding a little from the enormity of his emotions. he doesn't shy out of the affection, even if that's his first instinct.
no - instead, when he speaks up again, it's muffled. a little deadpan. ] ... Front's worse.
[ a sort of distraction, but the truth? he feels squirmy. ]
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[ therion can probably tell jiaoqiu is tired - not in a bad way, just in the sort of way that he's going to be very eager to make a nest and use therion as a teddy bear.
he's insistent about making sure that therion is wiped down fully - he doesn't get in depth, obviously, but he makes sure that therion isn't going to leak out onto their sheets too terribly because jiaoqiu was overzealous about coming inside him like three times. he gets the back of therion's legs, his lower back, and makes sure there aren't any cuts or scratches that might get infected before he's satisfied. well, more satisfied. seeing all of those marks he left behind soothes him in a very specific way. he's real. the void isn't all he is, and he has proof.
it's only when he's finished with all that that he answers therion, turning where he's leaned close to kiss his face like a brat. ]
Then turn over, hm? [ he says, running his hand over therion's back, and also his butt, because he can. that's his, he thinks, perhaps a little smugly. ] Let me see the damage.
[ it is probably a good thing that he's fucked out because the sight of the costume being wrecked is going to do things to his brain. terrible. ]
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[ he makes a little bit of a face about this, mostly complaining as he cleans up the mess he left behind, which is very embarrassing, and therion drops his face into the pillows and shifts a little to help out where necessary. jiaoqiu left plenty of marks on him, from hickies and scratches to still just so stretched muscles and still red skin.
he rolls his eyes as he's kissed at, turning his cheek away from it also like a brat, and yet still presses a little into his hands, lets him touch whatever he wants, and is honestly invested in being less sticky, so. despite the complaining, he shifts, pushing himself up on his arms, lazily kicks his underwear and the pants off of his foot and down on the ground, and then rolls over.
and as expected, there is a lot of damage! the silk of the top is rucked and wrinkled everywhere, a couple of the bells and coins seconds from falling off. the piece around his neck's crooked, the pretty, gauzy sleeves stuck to his arms in a variety of places from sweating so much. the waist belt that jiaoqiu reattached is still in decent shape if very loose, and beyond that - well, the worst part of it actually is the sticky mess of his own release, which is smeared all over his front from both actually coming and jiaoqiu rubbing it in, all over his muscles, the pretty costume, the belt, even a little up by his chin. he's all scratched up from jiaoqiu's claws, covered in hickies, just - a mess.
this feels very embarrassing - after a minute, he turns his gaze away fiercely, bringing a hand up to clear his throat and turning red down to his collarbones, more awake than he was thirty seconds ago if only because he was embarrassed. ]
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still gentle, he sighs out slow and grabs for a clean washcloth. wipes him down, but it's in a way where it's less about the efficiency and more about trying to relax therion. he knows therion is embarrassed, but the only way he's going to get him used to this is through exposure. there's nothing to be embarrassed about, jiaoqiu thinks, and he makes sure to not be amused or snarky or anything, just... kind. he doesn't want therion to feel humiliated or bad for being treated like he's worth something.
he drags the cloth over his inner thighs, over his length, stomach, chest - cleans the bit under his chin, all without comment, just a serene look. any claw marks get special attention from a fresh cloth, making sure they're not covered in dried blood. he traces the grooves of therion's body, eyes on the details - appreciating his muscles, the lithe way he stretches, the way the sleeves of the dancer top stick to his arms, the harsh gold belt against tan skin. he resists the urge to fuckin' lick therion clean, like an insane person. the thought does cross his mind, especially when he's down by therion's dick, but the point of this is not to be horny, it's to - well. groom, kind of, for as much as therion makes fun of him for it.
the belt comes off. and once he's done with that, he sets the washcloth away and brings his hands up to that silk top, and tugs it up. off this goes, too. they can both be fully naked. ]
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Thank fuck you're lazy.
[ is he lazy. three times is a lot of times? this is a joke, though, because clearly both of them are spent, and he's ragging on himself too, but it's also kind of funny to watch jiaoqiu poof up like that.
and slowly, bit by bit, he lets himself float into his own afterglow, lets that kind of lazy, sleepy feeling take over. the cloth running over his body is warm, and the touch is tender, gentle. it always kills him when jiaoqiu does anything like this, treats therion like something to be treasured, more kindness than the world's ever afforded him, than he's ever afforded himself. he's cooperative for once, slowly lifting his chin, pressing up just a little bit upwards when he cleans off his torso. there's no give to any of him, all hard angles and lean muscles, but jiaoqiu treats him gently, anyway. it's starting to feel a little overwhelming, if at a distance, that sticky feeling his chest making him feel tingly all over, making it feel heavy to breathe, and after a long, long time of him cleaning, he finally lifts his head enough to peek at him. his expression is a little unsure, almost shy, but not so much because he doesn't like it, but because he barely knows how to react.
it's a blink and you'll miss it kind of thing, peeking at him, kissed bruised mouth a little open, brows slightly knit, and then the stupid belt is coming off and it fades away. therion sags and mutters: ] Finally.
[ and then kindly helps in getting out of the stupid costume top. it is gross and makes too much noise, though he got plenty of good use out of it between riling jiaoqiu up and gathering help for primrose, so. maybe it was worth it, in the end.
he sits up as he divests himself of the top and shakes himself out, relieved to be quiet again, and then looks at jiaoqiu. just.. looks at him, for a second, takes in the state of him, and after a second, says, soft and sleep warm still, rough all around the edges: ] ... C'mere.
[ and shifts where he's settled, still sitting up, making space for jiaoqiu to come over. ]
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anyway, eventually he finishes up, and he tosses the top away to the ground. goodbye, dancer outfit, you served him so well. he really does need to thank primrose somehow, without facing her. maybe he will send her flowers. or like, ask her what her favorite food is and make it for her. without looking her in the eye, because they were so loud tonight that there's no way someone didn't hear. god.
but! he yawns, and goes easily to therion when he asks. it's nothing, to just let therion's sleep-warm voice pull him in. his ears are droopy and he's definitely lost most of his energy. he doesn't know what therion intends to do, but he crawls over and rests his head against therion's shoulder, ready to just tuck himself in. ]
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once jiaoqiu listens and comes over, he lets him settle - his weight is warm against his chest, against his shoulder, and it's settling, is starting to make him kind of sleepy again.
but, once he settles down, therion lifts his hands - and after a beat, starts to gently untangle some of the knots in his hair, combing his thin fingers through absently. he doesn't say anything, but it's kind of a soothing motion, maybe for both of them.
he'll keep combing through his hair, and eventually, starts to fix his side braid, too. ]
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and then the fingers start pulling through his hair, brushing it out, and jiaoqiu goes absolutely boneless. with a shivery little sigh, he leans up and noses at therion's jaw, and then just stays there, sleepily letting therion comb his hair. this is heaven. this is the best thing to ever happen to him.
there may or may not be foxian purr sounds happening. ]
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bundled up under the tail and the blanket, he is warm and comfortable, sated and relaxed, for once in his life, and having jiaoqiu just kind of melt against him like that is nice, too. it feels good. it feels... really good, to be relaxed and not feel like maybe another shoe is going to drop any second now.
braiding is a weird skill to have - a simple one, when you're a thief- but he weaves the braid back into its normal spot, fixing where he fucked it up. it'll have a little curl to it, in the morning, from all that sweat, but secretly, he kind of likes it when it does that, too. braid finished, he just slides his fingers through his hair, and slowly leans back against the pillows with his arms full of fox.
and if his temple shifts a little to rest against his, well, he won't say anything about it. he just rests in that sleepy moment, quietly content - laughs a little, when he makes that little purr noise. ]
Not done being feral yet, huh.
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back against the pillows they go, and he hums, wrapping his arms around therion, closing his eyes. this is a fast track to make him fall asleep, honestly. it's mostly because like therion, this is safe. there is no fear of being upended. he never sleeps so soundly as he does when therion is in bed with him.
the laugh, though - his ear flicks in therion's face. probably on purpose, he's a brat. ]
I don't know what you're talking about. [ he says, still very obviously purring. where is therion's hand. he wants to hold one of them, he liked that from earlier. keep the other one in his hair though, he likes that too. bossy. ]