[ rondo drinks the drink! the flavor is nice - it's sweet and kind of refreshing, honestly? it's fine for his ye olde palate, and he smacks his lips a little thoughtfully.
when he looks up, he stops, though, and then just lights up. ]
- Oh! Throné, you're a cat! How cute....!
[ is this a drink related honest thought or is this an actual honest thought out of his mouth. hard to say ]
[ he's excited!!!!! the ears... this is so cute.... maybe this milk drink isn't that bad. ]
It suits you! You're very catlike. [ again. it is very hard to tell if rondo's actually impacted by this lemon drink or if he's just like this. he leans forward a little curiously to peer at the ears more - then, seems to remember something and digs around in his pocket for the phone he was issued! he's not great with this thing, honestly, his pictures are usually blurry, but he pulls it out and fiddles with it until he can turn the selfie screen on, then turns it towards her so she can see herself. ]
At least there's not a tail, right? Haha. That'd be embarrassing.
[she gives him a bemused look at that first part, like she's not sure if that's a compliment. she's taking it as one because rondo is rondo, at least.]
It would be embarrassing. [she agrees, giving him a little half-smile. it'd be embarrassing for you, is what that expression is saying. but then he turns the camera on, and shows her - and she looks, head tilting.
when she spots the ears, they twitch.]
... They remind me of Ochette. [she says, after a moment. in a sort of like... not sad, but weh, i miss my friends, way.]
[ ochette, ochette... ah!! his ears perk up immediately in recognition as he remembers the name. ]
That's one of the people that you travel with. She's... a hunter, right? I think that's right. Does she really like cats? [ there's a pause, and then just completely offhandedly, as he's taking another sip of his drink: ] Ah, wow, your smile is pretty.
[ he
promptly chokes on said drink and starts to turn red, immediately, coughing and waving his hand to try and wave it off like no, no, he's cool ]
[help he chokes and she actually startles, her ears sticking straight up. partially because he's coughing but also because your smile is pretty makes her heart do like six backflips in a row.
has anybody told her that in a genuine way before? she's not sure.
she also has to recover from this, the tops of her cheeks pink - opens her mouth and then shuts it, and then opens it again, and shuts it and clears her throat.]
... She is a hunter. [she says valiantly, and like, she'd normally try to tease him about that, but. it's going to take her a second.] She's a beastling. So it isn't so much that she likes cats as much as she's... partially one.
[ help. embarrassing. he coughs, clearing his throat of the burn of alcohol and lemon (not that refreshing when you're choking on it actually) and looks like, almost desperately relieved when she carries on the conversation, immediately switching gears and nodding along enthusiastically to this description.
he's still very red in the face but once he clears his throat he's doing better. right! right. ]
... oh, I see... I've, um never met a beastling before, I don't think they live in Orsterra. [ they do not. rondo is imagining a cait at this time. there's that one weird talking cait in the nameless village the ringbearer chosen talks about sometimes? but you know what he's so mortified by this drink that he just accepts what throné tells him as reality which is good. it is. ]
I don't believe you're referring to the beastlings here, are you...
[ ah. yes it is back to rondo being bullied time. he ducks his head a little, turning pinker with this rueful comment, especially when throné leans into his space? but after a moment... ]
... Of course I do. [ duh? duh. ] It's - I shouldn't just say that out loud, but it is not the first time I've thought it, either.
[ oh gods. rondo looks startled at the look, and then flustered, reaching up to try and wave it off like it's nothing and he's fine but it mostly fails. his face is still red, and getting redder as he looks away, wheedling for an explanation. ]
I - well, I just don't - I've never really thought about that before! I don't think anyone's ever said it. [ besides the occasional too flirtatious prostitute in a brothel he was investigating, but rondo has such goal vision (and/or sazantos vision) that he'd never even really noticed if someone did. even tatloch only hit on him when he got Strong (TM) courtesy of the sacred flame's trial.
that, and, well, throné is just gorgeous, so. it's a high compliment? ]
[she tucks her hair behind her ear, out of her face, and watches him for a moment.]
You're welcome. [that's genuine, actually. maybe she doesn't know what it's like to not have people tell her she's pretty (that sounds so egotistical, but she knows she's hot, and she knows when people tell her, it's not the nicest thing they could say about her) - but she thinks she can understand never hearing things that make you feel good.
but she can't help herself she just:]
... Really? Nobody has told you? [nyeh] What sort of blind idiots live in Orsterra?
[ help. he doesn't have a tail, which is, again, good, because it'd be wagging. his ears perk a little and then he laughs, embarrassed, reaching for his drink and taking a sip just for the sake of not being embarrassed. ]
Well, I used to stand next to Sir Sazantos every day, and he was the most stunning person on the continent, so I can't say I'd blame anyone. [ ah yeah the drink word vomit. maybe ] And, besides! I'd usually rather get compliments on my sword.
A holy experience. [she bites her lip so hard it turns white so she doesn't laugh jfc
it's like instinct to take her drink and sip from it so that she has something to do with herself, and then she makes a face down at it because she was hoping the effect would wear off. a beat, and then:]
[ he's unaware and just nods enthusiastically to the first part. rondo "holy smite" "holy impulse" rondoson
but, ah... the subject change. rondo brightens, for a moment, almost instinctually, but not a second later, his face falls, softening into something a little sadder, that same expression throné had brought up earlier. the ears droop a little, too. ]
... Yes. [ no matter what happened, sazantos is still his mentor. ] He...was the Flameguard before me. [ a beat, and he shakes his head a little. ] He taught me everything that I know, and then some.
[ it's kind of funny - even with the drink's effects still swirling around in his system, for a moment, rondo seems at a loss for words. he looks down at his lap, trying to decide how to word the massive shadow over his life that is sazantos. ]
No, I - I want to tell you. I know you'll understand. [ there's the drink, this time, but he means it, and he gives her a soft, meaningful look before he bites his lip and tries to find a place to start. ]
... Sir Sazantos, he... [ ... ] Yes, you're right. [ it seems like he's not going to continue, but after a moment, the words start, and they don't stop. ] He wants to... Sir Sazantos made some choices that were - I still don't understand them, now, no matter how much I wanted to, but - something went wrong with his Sacred Flame. It was blackened - Accursed, and it used to be - you wouldn't believe how brightly it shone, it was - magnificent, and I wanted...
[ these thoughts are coming out of his mouth disjointed the way they are in his head, a swirling mix of the thousands of questions he had, that he still has for sazantos, who is somewhere in some different version of hell, amassing an army. he trails off, as he comes to the most cognizant point of it all. ]
...I think something hurt him very badly. [ honestly. that's the root of it all. rondo can't reconcile the purity of sazantos's sacred flame from when he was a starry eyed teenager with the man he stood across from just before arriving here. he just can't. he knows he's better than that because sazantos' pure sacred flame is the entire reason he's alive. ]
- And I don't know if there's any way to put the pieces back together again, Throné, but I want to. I wish he'd let me help him, but - I don't think he will, either, and...I think I will end up having to face him down on the battlefield, instead of at his side, when all of this is over. I'll do it, I will, Orsterra is depending on it, but I - I never wanted that.
[ he looks up at throné when he finishes, this time absolutely looking lost, upset, brows knit together and mouth pulled into a frown. it's the worst kind of upset, too - the kind where your heart is broken, but you know that you have to pick up the pieces and do what's right, keep going and doing the impossible thing anyway.
[she's good at listening, at least. she settles in her seat, watching him with a neutral but soft expression.
you'll understand, he says, and she thinks... she thinks she does. it sounds so familiar, in the way that she's seen her friends struggle with their own darkness. it puts her in mind of hikari, who always fought himself as hard as he could. it puts her in mind of the sanctum knights, standing at temenos's shoulder and watching kaldena twist and morph and scream.
there was a way to put the pieces together for hikari, but not for kaldena. she knows that. but throné also knows the difference between the two is that one tried very hard, and one did not, and she wonders how much it is like that for sazantos.
there's a pause, as she takes all that in. and then throné scoots forward, close enough to press her knee to his. she lifts her hands, and rests them delicately on either side of his face.]
It wasn't. [too much, she means.] ... You might have to. You can't force someone to accept your help.
[silence, then:] If you're unable to put the pieces back together, sometimes the greater mercy is to end it. Death isn't always the worst thing you can do to someone.
[ when he looks up at throné, when she takes his face, his eyes are a little wet. it's not on purpose - every time he thinks about the situation, it hurts, like picking at the scabs of an open wound. throné said it earlier, that someone might hurt him, because he was kind, but the truth is there's nothing in this world that could ever hurt him as bad as what happened with sazantos. there is nothing that can compare to watching his mentor, the paragon of everything, his goal, his ideal, the flameguard crumble to darkness. there is nothing that will match the way it felt when hugo first told him what happened, that the queen was summoning him to take sazantos's place among the guardians. like the whole world fell out under his feet. sometimes, he still wishes it was some horrible, awful dream, that he'll wake up and sazantos will meet him in the bitter cold training yard in flamesgrace, and everything will be normal.
he swallows, and nods, slowly, into her hands. ]
...I know. [ he does. he's not unrealistic. he knows that's what he has to do. and he thinks that sazantos, above all, is tired. he thinks he's starting to see the cracks in his armor, now. ]
I was finally strong enough to stand by him, and now I have to be strong enough to... [ a pause. he takes a deep breath. ] ... To end it, when the time comes. I can. I know I can. [ i know he needs it. i know maybe it will help to finally give him some release. ] I just don't want to.
...Thank you. [ rondo leans into her hands, a little, and huffs - lets out a soft, wet laugh, smiling at her a little helplessly, a little sadly. ] ...See? This is what I mean. Of course you're kind, Throné.
[almost instinctively, she strokes her thumb along his cheek. she doesn't like seeing him upset, she really doesn't. and like, throné is not a very protective person, she doesn't rush to the aid of people in pain like castti does, she doesn't hold out a helping hand like partitio, but. she's softer than she likes to admit.
heartbreak is something she's intimately familiar with, at least. she thinks she can relate there, to how she felt before she slipped a knife between father's ribs. you have to, you have to, you have to.]
I believe in you. [she says, without thinking. it's the drink, mostly, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.] You'll do what is right even if it hurts. It's admirable.
[it's something a little out of her reach - she's not sure what she'd do if say, temenos stood in front of her and asked her to end the world. (she'd bring the dawn, however she had to.)
a pause, and then:]
It isn't kind to do the bare minimum, Rondo. [this is almost a little disapproving, like - she's just listening!! that's basic human decency!! even if there are a lot of people who wouldn't. never mind them.]
[ "i believe in you". those are powerful words - the kind that make his heart flutter. in the end, rondo is still just trying to understand the right thing to do, just a man who had his world upended and found it had to be his job to turn it right side up, no matter how painful the cost was. he's the flameguard, now. sazantos's former mentor told him similar, that he believed he would do well. the sacred flame said similar, when it chose him, where it lay warm in his breast, even if he can't feel it so well here.
his expression is a little complicated. soft, maybe a little beseeching. thankful shines through more than anything. even if throné says it's the bare minimum, it means a lot to him. a lot. the disapproving tone gets a quiet huff, and he argues back, though with no heat: ] To say the reality of the situation is a kindness that not everyone would give, either.
[ a platitude, a simple word. i'm sure you'll fix it. really, he doesn't think he will, either. rondo is far more realistic than he seems, and that tiny bit of optimism is a lost cause, so the pragmatism delivered with a kind hand is exactly what he needs to hear.
plus, she's like, holding his face and just rubbed under his eyes like if he might cry? how is this not kindness. the drink takes its effect here, and he adds, quietly but no less sincere: ] I'm really glad I've met you.
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when he looks up, he stops, though, and then just lights up. ]
- Oh! Throné, you're a cat! How cute....!
[ is this a drink related honest thought or is this an actual honest thought out of his mouth. hard to say ]
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he looks very excited, which means one of her ears flick, and then - both press back, just a bit, cautious.]
... A cat. [she repeats, brow furrowing as she brings her hand up to touch her ears.] I see. I wasn't expecting...
[well, maybe she's not totally surprised, but. it is very weird to have real cat ears.]
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It suits you! You're very catlike. [ again. it is very hard to tell if rondo's actually impacted by this lemon drink or if he's just like this. he leans forward a little curiously to peer at the ears more - then, seems to remember something and digs around in his pocket for the phone he was issued! he's not great with this thing, honestly, his pictures are usually blurry, but he pulls it out and fiddles with it until he can turn the selfie screen on, then turns it towards her so she can see herself. ]
At least there's not a tail, right? Haha. That'd be embarrassing.
[ at least he's a little self aware ]
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It would be embarrassing. [she agrees, giving him a little half-smile. it'd be embarrassing for you, is what that expression is saying. but then he turns the camera on, and shows her - and she looks, head tilting.
when she spots the ears, they twitch.]
... They remind me of Ochette. [she says, after a moment. in a sort of like... not sad, but weh, i miss my friends, way.]
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That's one of the people that you travel with. She's... a hunter, right? I think that's right. Does she really like cats? [ there's a pause, and then just completely offhandedly, as he's taking another sip of his drink: ] Ah, wow, your smile is pretty.
[ he
promptly chokes on said drink and starts to turn red, immediately, coughing and waving his hand to try and wave it off like no, no, he's cool ]
....anyway! Your friend!
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has anybody told her that in a genuine way before? she's not sure.
she also has to recover from this, the tops of her cheeks pink - opens her mouth and then shuts it, and then opens it again, and shuts it and clears her throat.]
... She is a hunter. [she says valiantly, and like, she'd normally try to tease him about that, but. it's going to take her a second.] She's a beastling. So it isn't so much that she likes cats as much as she's... partially one.
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he's still very red in the face but once he clears his throat he's doing better. right! right. ]
... oh, I see... I've, um never met a beastling before, I don't think they live in Orsterra. [ they do not. rondo is imagining a cait at this time. there's that one weird talking cait in the nameless village the ringbearer chosen talks about sometimes? but you know what he's so mortified by this drink that he just accepts what throné tells him as reality which is good. it is. ]
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she hums in response to what he says, watching him for a second, and then carefully leans forward.]
Probably not. There are a few differences between our worlds. [...] Do you mean that?
[that she has a pretty smile. it's mostly teasing! if she embarrasses him more than she is embarrassed she wins, actually?
but if he's paying attention there's a little bit of genuineness underneath it.]
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[ ah. yes it is back to rondo being bullied time. he ducks his head a little, turning pinker with this rueful comment, especially when throné leans into his space? but after a moment... ]
... Of course I do. [ duh? duh. ] It's - I shouldn't just say that out loud, but it is not the first time I've thought it, either.
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You're handsome. It's very endearing when you blush. [oh that's not what she meant to say fuck HER OWN DRINK IS STILL ACTIVE
her ears just. press back. hm.]
... Hm.
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a long pause. ]
.... You think I'm handsome....?
[ he sounds so genuinely touched. and surprised. stunned, even. really? big 🥹 energy ]
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okay well she gives him a totally like, are you kidding look.]
... Yes. [buddy you're very handsome like objectively what are you talking about. one of her ears perks up, flicking.] Do you not think you are?
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I - well, I just don't - I've never really thought about that before! I don't think anyone's ever said it. [ besides the occasional too flirtatious prostitute in a brothel he was investigating, but rondo has such goal vision (and/or sazantos vision) that he'd never even really noticed if someone did. even tatloch only hit on him when he got Strong (TM) courtesy of the sacred flame's trial.
that, and, well, throné is just gorgeous, so. it's a high compliment? ]
Um - [ wait, you have manners. ] - ...thank you.
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You're welcome. [that's genuine, actually. maybe she doesn't know what it's like to not have people tell her she's pretty (that sounds so egotistical, but she knows she's hot, and she knows when people tell her, it's not the nicest thing they could say about her) - but she thinks she can understand never hearing things that make you feel good.
but she can't help herself she just:]
... Really? Nobody has told you? [nyeh] What sort of blind idiots live in Orsterra?
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Well, I used to stand next to Sir Sazantos every day, and he was the most stunning person on the continent, so I can't say I'd blame anyone. [ ah yeah the drink word vomit. maybe ] And, besides! I'd usually rather get compliments on my sword.
[ don't
say it like that ]
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she raises an eyebrow.]
Your sword, huh? And how many people do you let see your sword? [stop he's not going to get it]
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[ she can probably hear that whoosh over his head. ]
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it's like instinct to take her drink and sip from it so that she has something to do with herself, and then she makes a face down at it because she was hoping the effect would wear off. a beat, and then:]
... Sazantos is your mentor, isn't he?
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but, ah... the subject change. rondo brightens, for a moment, almost instinctually, but not a second later, his face falls, softening into something a little sadder, that same expression throné had brought up earlier. the ears droop a little, too. ]
... Yes. [ no matter what happened, sazantos is still his mentor. ] He...was the Flameguard before me. [ a beat, and he shakes his head a little. ] He taught me everything that I know, and then some.
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Something happened to him. [she says, gentler than she is usually. and then:] You don't need to tell me unless you'd like to.
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No, I - I want to tell you. I know you'll understand. [ there's the drink, this time, but he means it, and he gives her a soft, meaningful look before he bites his lip and tries to find a place to start. ]
... Sir Sazantos, he... [ ... ] Yes, you're right. [ it seems like he's not going to continue, but after a moment, the words start, and they don't stop. ] He wants to... Sir Sazantos made some choices that were - I still don't understand them, now, no matter how much I wanted to, but - something went wrong with his Sacred Flame. It was blackened - Accursed, and it used to be - you wouldn't believe how brightly it shone, it was - magnificent, and I wanted...
[ these thoughts are coming out of his mouth disjointed the way they are in his head, a swirling mix of the thousands of questions he had, that he still has for sazantos, who is somewhere in some different version of hell, amassing an army. he trails off, as he comes to the most cognizant point of it all. ]
...I think something hurt him very badly. [ honestly. that's the root of it all. rondo can't reconcile the purity of sazantos's sacred flame from when he was a starry eyed teenager with the man he stood across from just before arriving here. he just can't. he knows he's better than that because sazantos' pure sacred flame is the entire reason he's alive. ]
- And I don't know if there's any way to put the pieces back together again, Throné, but I want to. I wish he'd let me help him, but - I don't think he will, either, and...I think I will end up having to face him down on the battlefield, instead of at his side, when all of this is over. I'll do it, I will, Orsterra is depending on it, but I - I never wanted that.
[ he looks up at throné when he finishes, this time absolutely looking lost, upset, brows knit together and mouth pulled into a frown. it's the worst kind of upset, too - the kind where your heart is broken, but you know that you have to pick up the pieces and do what's right, keep going and doing the impossible thing anyway.
ah. ] ...Sorry. Maybe that was a bit too much.
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you'll understand, he says, and she thinks... she thinks she does. it sounds so familiar, in the way that she's seen her friends struggle with their own darkness. it puts her in mind of hikari, who always fought himself as hard as he could. it puts her in mind of the sanctum knights, standing at temenos's shoulder and watching kaldena twist and morph and scream.
there was a way to put the pieces together for hikari, but not for kaldena. she knows that. but throné also knows the difference between the two is that one tried very hard, and one did not, and she wonders how much it is like that for sazantos.
there's a pause, as she takes all that in. and then throné scoots forward, close enough to press her knee to his. she lifts her hands, and rests them delicately on either side of his face.]
It wasn't. [too much, she means.] ... You might have to. You can't force someone to accept your help.
[silence, then:] If you're unable to put the pieces back together, sometimes the greater mercy is to end it. Death isn't always the worst thing you can do to someone.
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he swallows, and nods, slowly, into her hands. ]
...I know. [ he does. he's not unrealistic. he knows that's what he has to do. and he thinks that sazantos, above all, is tired. he thinks he's starting to see the cracks in his armor, now. ]
I was finally strong enough to stand by him, and now I have to be strong enough to... [ a pause. he takes a deep breath. ] ... To end it, when the time comes. I can. I know I can. [ i know he needs it. i know maybe it will help to finally give him some release. ] I just don't want to.
...Thank you. [ rondo leans into her hands, a little, and huffs - lets out a soft, wet laugh, smiling at her a little helplessly, a little sadly. ] ...See? This is what I mean. Of course you're kind, Throné.
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heartbreak is something she's intimately familiar with, at least. she thinks she can relate there, to how she felt before she slipped a knife between father's ribs. you have to, you have to, you have to.]
I believe in you. [she says, without thinking. it's the drink, mostly, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.] You'll do what is right even if it hurts. It's admirable.
[it's something a little out of her reach - she's not sure what she'd do if say, temenos stood in front of her and asked her to end the world. (she'd bring the dawn, however she had to.)
a pause, and then:]
It isn't kind to do the bare minimum, Rondo. [this is almost a little disapproving, like - she's just listening!! that's basic human decency!! even if there are a lot of people who wouldn't. never mind them.]
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his expression is a little complicated. soft, maybe a little beseeching. thankful shines through more than anything. even if throné says it's the bare minimum, it means a lot to him. a lot. the disapproving tone gets a quiet huff, and he argues back, though with no heat: ] To say the reality of the situation is a kindness that not everyone would give, either.
[ a platitude, a simple word. i'm sure you'll fix it. really, he doesn't think he will, either. rondo is far more realistic than he seems, and that tiny bit of optimism is a lost cause, so the pragmatism delivered with a kind hand is exactly what he needs to hear.
plus, she's like, holding his face and just rubbed under his eyes like if he might cry? how is this not kindness. the drink takes its effect here, and he adds, quietly but no less sincere: ] I'm really glad I've met you.
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