[don't drink the horrible secrets drink!! she doesn't want him to suffer through it either, which is why she reaches and puts a hand on top of his. there's no hesitation there, funnily enough.]
... You don't have to. [she glances at him, and - at his puppy ears, and those make her lips twitch at the corners, she can't help it.]
[ solidarity!!!! the ears perk a little - he peeks up at her from under his bangs, and smiles at her, all warm and genuine, hand curling a little underneath hers. ]
Unless you want to drink the milk, but if you do that, I'm definitely drinking this one.
[not the perky ears, she looks like she is a touch flustered in a huffy way at the ears and genuine smile combination. rude.]
... The worst that happens is I grow ears, I suppose. [she glances at the milk drink.] Fine. We trade.
[fair is fair! she thinks that the ears are not as embarrassing as blurting all your thoughts out, but it's still something, and she works in scales. so. before he can say anything, she reaches over and takes a drink of the milk.
and a pair of kitty ears appear on her head, the same color as her hair.]
[ rondo drinks the drink! the flavor is nice - it's sweet and kind of refreshing, honestly? it's fine for his ye olde palate, and he smacks his lips a little thoughtfully.
when he looks up, he stops, though, and then just lights up. ]
- Oh! Throné, you're a cat! How cute....!
[ is this a drink related honest thought or is this an actual honest thought out of his mouth. hard to say ]
[ he's excited!!!!! the ears... this is so cute.... maybe this milk drink isn't that bad. ]
It suits you! You're very catlike. [ again. it is very hard to tell if rondo's actually impacted by this lemon drink or if he's just like this. he leans forward a little curiously to peer at the ears more - then, seems to remember something and digs around in his pocket for the phone he was issued! he's not great with this thing, honestly, his pictures are usually blurry, but he pulls it out and fiddles with it until he can turn the selfie screen on, then turns it towards her so she can see herself. ]
At least there's not a tail, right? Haha. That'd be embarrassing.
[she gives him a bemused look at that first part, like she's not sure if that's a compliment. she's taking it as one because rondo is rondo, at least.]
It would be embarrassing. [she agrees, giving him a little half-smile. it'd be embarrassing for you, is what that expression is saying. but then he turns the camera on, and shows her - and she looks, head tilting.
when she spots the ears, they twitch.]
... They remind me of Ochette. [she says, after a moment. in a sort of like... not sad, but weh, i miss my friends, way.]
[ ochette, ochette... ah!! his ears perk up immediately in recognition as he remembers the name. ]
That's one of the people that you travel with. She's... a hunter, right? I think that's right. Does she really like cats? [ there's a pause, and then just completely offhandedly, as he's taking another sip of his drink: ] Ah, wow, your smile is pretty.
[ he
promptly chokes on said drink and starts to turn red, immediately, coughing and waving his hand to try and wave it off like no, no, he's cool ]
[help he chokes and she actually startles, her ears sticking straight up. partially because he's coughing but also because your smile is pretty makes her heart do like six backflips in a row.
has anybody told her that in a genuine way before? she's not sure.
she also has to recover from this, the tops of her cheeks pink - opens her mouth and then shuts it, and then opens it again, and shuts it and clears her throat.]
... She is a hunter. [she says valiantly, and like, she'd normally try to tease him about that, but. it's going to take her a second.] She's a beastling. So it isn't so much that she likes cats as much as she's... partially one.
[ help. embarrassing. he coughs, clearing his throat of the burn of alcohol and lemon (not that refreshing when you're choking on it actually) and looks like, almost desperately relieved when she carries on the conversation, immediately switching gears and nodding along enthusiastically to this description.
he's still very red in the face but once he clears his throat he's doing better. right! right. ]
... oh, I see... I've, um never met a beastling before, I don't think they live in Orsterra. [ they do not. rondo is imagining a cait at this time. there's that one weird talking cait in the nameless village the ringbearer chosen talks about sometimes? but you know what he's so mortified by this drink that he just accepts what throné tells him as reality which is good. it is. ]
I don't believe you're referring to the beastlings here, are you...
[ ah. yes it is back to rondo being bullied time. he ducks his head a little, turning pinker with this rueful comment, especially when throné leans into his space? but after a moment... ]
... Of course I do. [ duh? duh. ] It's - I shouldn't just say that out loud, but it is not the first time I've thought it, either.
[ oh gods. rondo looks startled at the look, and then flustered, reaching up to try and wave it off like it's nothing and he's fine but it mostly fails. his face is still red, and getting redder as he looks away, wheedling for an explanation. ]
I - well, I just don't - I've never really thought about that before! I don't think anyone's ever said it. [ besides the occasional too flirtatious prostitute in a brothel he was investigating, but rondo has such goal vision (and/or sazantos vision) that he'd never even really noticed if someone did. even tatloch only hit on him when he got Strong (TM) courtesy of the sacred flame's trial.
that, and, well, throné is just gorgeous, so. it's a high compliment? ]
[she tucks her hair behind her ear, out of her face, and watches him for a moment.]
You're welcome. [that's genuine, actually. maybe she doesn't know what it's like to not have people tell her she's pretty (that sounds so egotistical, but she knows she's hot, and she knows when people tell her, it's not the nicest thing they could say about her) - but she thinks she can understand never hearing things that make you feel good.
but she can't help herself she just:]
... Really? Nobody has told you? [nyeh] What sort of blind idiots live in Orsterra?
[ help. he doesn't have a tail, which is, again, good, because it'd be wagging. his ears perk a little and then he laughs, embarrassed, reaching for his drink and taking a sip just for the sake of not being embarrassed. ]
Well, I used to stand next to Sir Sazantos every day, and he was the most stunning person on the continent, so I can't say I'd blame anyone. [ ah yeah the drink word vomit. maybe ] And, besides! I'd usually rather get compliments on my sword.
A holy experience. [she bites her lip so hard it turns white so she doesn't laugh jfc
it's like instinct to take her drink and sip from it so that she has something to do with herself, and then she makes a face down at it because she was hoping the effect would wear off. a beat, and then:]
[ he's unaware and just nods enthusiastically to the first part. rondo "holy smite" "holy impulse" rondoson
but, ah... the subject change. rondo brightens, for a moment, almost instinctually, but not a second later, his face falls, softening into something a little sadder, that same expression throné had brought up earlier. the ears droop a little, too. ]
... Yes. [ no matter what happened, sazantos is still his mentor. ] He...was the Flameguard before me. [ a beat, and he shakes his head a little. ] He taught me everything that I know, and then some.
[ it's kind of funny - even with the drink's effects still swirling around in his system, for a moment, rondo seems at a loss for words. he looks down at his lap, trying to decide how to word the massive shadow over his life that is sazantos. ]
No, I - I want to tell you. I know you'll understand. [ there's the drink, this time, but he means it, and he gives her a soft, meaningful look before he bites his lip and tries to find a place to start. ]
... Sir Sazantos, he... [ ... ] Yes, you're right. [ it seems like he's not going to continue, but after a moment, the words start, and they don't stop. ] He wants to... Sir Sazantos made some choices that were - I still don't understand them, now, no matter how much I wanted to, but - something went wrong with his Sacred Flame. It was blackened - Accursed, and it used to be - you wouldn't believe how brightly it shone, it was - magnificent, and I wanted...
[ these thoughts are coming out of his mouth disjointed the way they are in his head, a swirling mix of the thousands of questions he had, that he still has for sazantos, who is somewhere in some different version of hell, amassing an army. he trails off, as he comes to the most cognizant point of it all. ]
...I think something hurt him very badly. [ honestly. that's the root of it all. rondo can't reconcile the purity of sazantos's sacred flame from when he was a starry eyed teenager with the man he stood across from just before arriving here. he just can't. he knows he's better than that because sazantos' pure sacred flame is the entire reason he's alive. ]
- And I don't know if there's any way to put the pieces back together again, Throné, but I want to. I wish he'd let me help him, but - I don't think he will, either, and...I think I will end up having to face him down on the battlefield, instead of at his side, when all of this is over. I'll do it, I will, Orsterra is depending on it, but I - I never wanted that.
[ he looks up at throné when he finishes, this time absolutely looking lost, upset, brows knit together and mouth pulled into a frown. it's the worst kind of upset, too - the kind where your heart is broken, but you know that you have to pick up the pieces and do what's right, keep going and doing the impossible thing anyway.
[she's good at listening, at least. she settles in her seat, watching him with a neutral but soft expression.
you'll understand, he says, and she thinks... she thinks she does. it sounds so familiar, in the way that she's seen her friends struggle with their own darkness. it puts her in mind of hikari, who always fought himself as hard as he could. it puts her in mind of the sanctum knights, standing at temenos's shoulder and watching kaldena twist and morph and scream.
there was a way to put the pieces together for hikari, but not for kaldena. she knows that. but throné also knows the difference between the two is that one tried very hard, and one did not, and she wonders how much it is like that for sazantos.
there's a pause, as she takes all that in. and then throné scoots forward, close enough to press her knee to his. she lifts her hands, and rests them delicately on either side of his face.]
It wasn't. [too much, she means.] ... You might have to. You can't force someone to accept your help.
[silence, then:] If you're unable to put the pieces back together, sometimes the greater mercy is to end it. Death isn't always the worst thing you can do to someone.
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[don't drink the horrible secrets drink!! she doesn't want him to suffer through it either, which is why she reaches and puts a hand on top of his. there's no hesitation there, funnily enough.]
... You don't have to. [she glances at him, and - at his puppy ears, and those make her lips twitch at the corners, she can't help it.]
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[ solidarity!!!! the ears perk a little - he peeks up at her from under his bangs, and smiles at her, all warm and genuine, hand curling a little underneath hers. ]
Unless you want to drink the milk, but if you do that, I'm definitely drinking this one.
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... The worst that happens is I grow ears, I suppose. [she glances at the milk drink.] Fine. We trade.
[fair is fair! she thinks that the ears are not as embarrassing as blurting all your thoughts out, but it's still something, and she works in scales. so. before he can say anything, she reaches over and takes a drink of the milk.
and a pair of kitty ears appear on her head, the same color as her hair.]
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when he looks up, he stops, though, and then just lights up. ]
- Oh! Throné, you're a cat! How cute....!
[ is this a drink related honest thought or is this an actual honest thought out of his mouth. hard to say ]
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he looks very excited, which means one of her ears flick, and then - both press back, just a bit, cautious.]
... A cat. [she repeats, brow furrowing as she brings her hand up to touch her ears.] I see. I wasn't expecting...
[well, maybe she's not totally surprised, but. it is very weird to have real cat ears.]
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It suits you! You're very catlike. [ again. it is very hard to tell if rondo's actually impacted by this lemon drink or if he's just like this. he leans forward a little curiously to peer at the ears more - then, seems to remember something and digs around in his pocket for the phone he was issued! he's not great with this thing, honestly, his pictures are usually blurry, but he pulls it out and fiddles with it until he can turn the selfie screen on, then turns it towards her so she can see herself. ]
At least there's not a tail, right? Haha. That'd be embarrassing.
[ at least he's a little self aware ]
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It would be embarrassing. [she agrees, giving him a little half-smile. it'd be embarrassing for you, is what that expression is saying. but then he turns the camera on, and shows her - and she looks, head tilting.
when she spots the ears, they twitch.]
... They remind me of Ochette. [she says, after a moment. in a sort of like... not sad, but weh, i miss my friends, way.]
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That's one of the people that you travel with. She's... a hunter, right? I think that's right. Does she really like cats? [ there's a pause, and then just completely offhandedly, as he's taking another sip of his drink: ] Ah, wow, your smile is pretty.
[ he
promptly chokes on said drink and starts to turn red, immediately, coughing and waving his hand to try and wave it off like no, no, he's cool ]
....anyway! Your friend!
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has anybody told her that in a genuine way before? she's not sure.
she also has to recover from this, the tops of her cheeks pink - opens her mouth and then shuts it, and then opens it again, and shuts it and clears her throat.]
... She is a hunter. [she says valiantly, and like, she'd normally try to tease him about that, but. it's going to take her a second.] She's a beastling. So it isn't so much that she likes cats as much as she's... partially one.
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he's still very red in the face but once he clears his throat he's doing better. right! right. ]
... oh, I see... I've, um never met a beastling before, I don't think they live in Orsterra. [ they do not. rondo is imagining a cait at this time. there's that one weird talking cait in the nameless village the ringbearer chosen talks about sometimes? but you know what he's so mortified by this drink that he just accepts what throné tells him as reality which is good. it is. ]
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she hums in response to what he says, watching him for a second, and then carefully leans forward.]
Probably not. There are a few differences between our worlds. [...] Do you mean that?
[that she has a pretty smile. it's mostly teasing! if she embarrasses him more than she is embarrassed she wins, actually?
but if he's paying attention there's a little bit of genuineness underneath it.]
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[ ah. yes it is back to rondo being bullied time. he ducks his head a little, turning pinker with this rueful comment, especially when throné leans into his space? but after a moment... ]
... Of course I do. [ duh? duh. ] It's - I shouldn't just say that out loud, but it is not the first time I've thought it, either.
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You're handsome. It's very endearing when you blush. [oh that's not what she meant to say fuck HER OWN DRINK IS STILL ACTIVE
her ears just. press back. hm.]
... Hm.
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a long pause. ]
.... You think I'm handsome....?
[ he sounds so genuinely touched. and surprised. stunned, even. really? big 🥹 energy ]
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okay well she gives him a totally like, are you kidding look.]
... Yes. [buddy you're very handsome like objectively what are you talking about. one of her ears perks up, flicking.] Do you not think you are?
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I - well, I just don't - I've never really thought about that before! I don't think anyone's ever said it. [ besides the occasional too flirtatious prostitute in a brothel he was investigating, but rondo has such goal vision (and/or sazantos vision) that he'd never even really noticed if someone did. even tatloch only hit on him when he got Strong (TM) courtesy of the sacred flame's trial.
that, and, well, throné is just gorgeous, so. it's a high compliment? ]
Um - [ wait, you have manners. ] - ...thank you.
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You're welcome. [that's genuine, actually. maybe she doesn't know what it's like to not have people tell her she's pretty (that sounds so egotistical, but she knows she's hot, and she knows when people tell her, it's not the nicest thing they could say about her) - but she thinks she can understand never hearing things that make you feel good.
but she can't help herself she just:]
... Really? Nobody has told you? [nyeh] What sort of blind idiots live in Orsterra?
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Well, I used to stand next to Sir Sazantos every day, and he was the most stunning person on the continent, so I can't say I'd blame anyone. [ ah yeah the drink word vomit. maybe ] And, besides! I'd usually rather get compliments on my sword.
[ don't
say it like that ]
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she raises an eyebrow.]
Your sword, huh? And how many people do you let see your sword? [stop he's not going to get it]
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[ she can probably hear that whoosh over his head. ]
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it's like instinct to take her drink and sip from it so that she has something to do with herself, and then she makes a face down at it because she was hoping the effect would wear off. a beat, and then:]
... Sazantos is your mentor, isn't he?
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but, ah... the subject change. rondo brightens, for a moment, almost instinctually, but not a second later, his face falls, softening into something a little sadder, that same expression throné had brought up earlier. the ears droop a little, too. ]
... Yes. [ no matter what happened, sazantos is still his mentor. ] He...was the Flameguard before me. [ a beat, and he shakes his head a little. ] He taught me everything that I know, and then some.
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Something happened to him. [she says, gentler than she is usually. and then:] You don't need to tell me unless you'd like to.
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No, I - I want to tell you. I know you'll understand. [ there's the drink, this time, but he means it, and he gives her a soft, meaningful look before he bites his lip and tries to find a place to start. ]
... Sir Sazantos, he... [ ... ] Yes, you're right. [ it seems like he's not going to continue, but after a moment, the words start, and they don't stop. ] He wants to... Sir Sazantos made some choices that were - I still don't understand them, now, no matter how much I wanted to, but - something went wrong with his Sacred Flame. It was blackened - Accursed, and it used to be - you wouldn't believe how brightly it shone, it was - magnificent, and I wanted...
[ these thoughts are coming out of his mouth disjointed the way they are in his head, a swirling mix of the thousands of questions he had, that he still has for sazantos, who is somewhere in some different version of hell, amassing an army. he trails off, as he comes to the most cognizant point of it all. ]
...I think something hurt him very badly. [ honestly. that's the root of it all. rondo can't reconcile the purity of sazantos's sacred flame from when he was a starry eyed teenager with the man he stood across from just before arriving here. he just can't. he knows he's better than that because sazantos' pure sacred flame is the entire reason he's alive. ]
- And I don't know if there's any way to put the pieces back together again, Throné, but I want to. I wish he'd let me help him, but - I don't think he will, either, and...I think I will end up having to face him down on the battlefield, instead of at his side, when all of this is over. I'll do it, I will, Orsterra is depending on it, but I - I never wanted that.
[ he looks up at throné when he finishes, this time absolutely looking lost, upset, brows knit together and mouth pulled into a frown. it's the worst kind of upset, too - the kind where your heart is broken, but you know that you have to pick up the pieces and do what's right, keep going and doing the impossible thing anyway.
ah. ] ...Sorry. Maybe that was a bit too much.
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you'll understand, he says, and she thinks... she thinks she does. it sounds so familiar, in the way that she's seen her friends struggle with their own darkness. it puts her in mind of hikari, who always fought himself as hard as he could. it puts her in mind of the sanctum knights, standing at temenos's shoulder and watching kaldena twist and morph and scream.
there was a way to put the pieces together for hikari, but not for kaldena. she knows that. but throné also knows the difference between the two is that one tried very hard, and one did not, and she wonders how much it is like that for sazantos.
there's a pause, as she takes all that in. and then throné scoots forward, close enough to press her knee to his. she lifts her hands, and rests them delicately on either side of his face.]
It wasn't. [too much, she means.] ... You might have to. You can't force someone to accept your help.
[silence, then:] If you're unable to put the pieces back together, sometimes the greater mercy is to end it. Death isn't always the worst thing you can do to someone.
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