and then another picture, and this time it's of jiaoqiu. or, it probably is. it's very dark, and there's pink fur in the shot, and like, fabric? a blanket. it looks sort of like he took a selfie of him under a blanket, because that's exactly what he did. at least he's good at following directions. ]
I know I want eventually soon I like it here but I miss you
[ god. during the pause, he glances up at the train's signage. it's heading off for a travel hub, cutting through the desert. there's no stop for sunshade, but it passes through on the long march - direct route.
everything outside is dim and dusky, but the glowing lights of a familiar city will be passed by. he looks down at his phone, at the stupid, terrible picture that makes him laugh, and then close his eyes. i like it here, but i miss you. i miss you, therion. his chest feels tight. ]
[ he has a hard time making sense of these texts, and it takes him a bit to formulate a reply - it's mostly because he's so fuzzy. he doesn't really drink ever, so these hit him hard. he's going to regret it in the morning. ]
he doesn't reply for a little while - a few minutes extra, because he's on the move. to the back of the train, to the little doors between. an in and out step into the cold desert night, then the next car. and then the next. and then the next, until he's at the back of the train. he checks his phone, glances outside. ]
stay on this planet, medicine man.
[ another pause between texts. sunshade's getting closer, now, the train rattling around the closest bend. he has to time this right. ]
[ stay. he always asks therion to stay, so he supposes it's fair that therion's asking him to do the same. it's tempting to just fade out, but. he thinks it might be harder to do, now. he thinks about how it might scare primrose. he thinks about acheron resting her hand on his own, and telling him that the only way out of self-annihilation is to find something to bond yourself to. he thinks about boothill laughing at him and shoving his shoulder and telling him he's got a home, and how lucky he is for that.
that's true, he thinks. he's got a home. his home wanders away from him sometimes, but that's okay. his home always comes back.
[ to say this shocks him is putting it lightly. he checks his phone at the last second, as he's watching the lights of sunshade get closer and closer, standing out in the cold, brisk air, a spectre of white hair in the dead of night on a moving train.
and it's kind of convenient, in a way - because it's about time for him to jump.
therion's used to jumping. leaping across rooftops, despite the way sometimes his heart shudders at the height. he ignores it, lets the adrenaline power him through, the feeling that darius couldn't break him of his skills because he tried to break his body and his soul all in one go. but nothing kicks his fight or flight off than that. three simple words, typed into a phone.
he leaps.
and when he hits the ground in the sand, and rolls and rolls, he's still clutching his stupid burner phone, and he's so, so alive, and the phone screen still says "i love you". therion's gut instinct says its fake, that he's just drunk, that he does not mean that, that inevitably something like that is going to fall out from under him, more wobbly than the sand under his feet. too cynical. too much.
he's up to his feet in a second, in the outskirts of sunshade. fight or flight, not sure which one, but he's moving through the outskirts of familiarity, past rowdy bar-goers out late at night, through alleyways and dark corners, to a tavern in the center of town that is the closest thing he's ever called to a home.
he never responds to the text message, and time passes. that's probably scary. ten minutes, fifteen pass by. twenty, and there's nothing, like maybe he left it silent - message left on read.
but then, there's a tiny noise, the tchk-tchk of a latch unlocking, of a window sliding open. and like a bolt out of the. blue, covered in sand and looking dishelveled, a thief slides into jiaoqiu's room, feet thudding as he hits the ground, and making the least subtle entrance he's maybe ever made in his life. he's still holding his phone. ]
[ at some point in the future, if therion ever tells him he jumped off a moving train in order to get back to sunshade early, jiaoqiu is going to give him a six hour lecture and then kiss him so hard he suffocates,
but jiaoqiu does not know about that now. he just says those words out loud, and he's so drunk that it doesn't even really occur to him to be freaked out about it. at first, anyway. but the message gets left on read, and he thinks - oh. oh, no? he said something wrong. eventually, therion said, he'd be back eventually, but what if this scared him? what if this was the one line he wasn't supposed to cross? what if he doesn't come back after this?
he waits. maybe he just needs to... maybe he just needs to wait.
therion, when he thuds into their room, will see jiaoqiu on the bed, clutching his phone. he's got it in both hands like a lifeline. that jade bracelet is sitting around his wrist - it never comes off, really. he's half dressed otherwise, with blankets tangled around him in disarray, and... he's asleep. or, he was. the thud gets his ear to flick, and he jolts slightly in the way people do when they're trying to pretend like they didn't pass out. he blinks groggily at his phone, like he thinks it made a noise, and then blearily looks up at the window, eyes unfocused.
he's sooo wasted, which means he has no control over the way his tail wags lamely when he sees therion, fuzzy brain trying to catch up with reality. ]
[ god - god. something in him just collapses, like a deflating balloon. there's jiaoqiu, half asleep, jolting when he came in. he was right, he is definitely drunk.
(i miss you. i love you.)
god. god, this was so uncool. it's all catching up to him as he stands there like an idiot for a long minute, staring at him, feeling his heart shrivel up in his chest and then burst into something brighter, something that just feels ridiculous. what did he run all the way here for? why did he -
god. he reaches up and scrubs a hand across his face, though it's not like he's upset or anything. just kind of flabbergasted, at himself, at this situation, and he pulls it down and looks at jiaoqiu, and then sighs. he just sighs to the heavens, and rolls his eyes, and comes over. his heart is pounding like a million miles an hour. ]
Aeber's asshole. [ he mutters, to himself, brushes himself off like he is Cool, and then comes over, folding his arms. ] Look at you.
[ it doesn't quite register that therion is actually there, at first? when therion said he'd be back eventually, jiaoqiu thought he was somewhere really far away. he didn't ask for details because it wasn't really all that important. he trusts him. he was somewhere that wasn't here, and he'd be back.
but therion crosses the room and makes grouchy noises, and jiaoqiu is drunk but that doesn't mean his foxian senses don't work. he catches therion's scent, and his ears perk up. and then he's sitting up, dropping his phone on the floor and reaching for him with a pleased look. ]
You're back.
[ his stupid tail is now wagging in earnest. ]
Therion. [ soft, full of affection, sleepy. ] I'm dreaming. Therion.
he opens his mouth to say something else and then shuts it, rapidly, flustered at the sheer amount of dopey affection that is being beamed his way. the tailwagging. the sleepy, cute voice. this is a lot. he sees i love you in text at the back of his mind, flusters harder, and starts to reach for him so he doesn't like, fall off the bed. ]
Yeah, no. What kind of dreams are you having.
[ he should just push him over, but he does not do that, not even sure what to do with himself with this reaction. his ears are starting to turn red. ]
[ okay but this is why he's going to walk directly into traffic tomorrow,
he is in fact about to fall off the bed, so therion catches him a bit, thankfully. he is half hanging out of it, wrapping his arms around therion and pressing his face to his chest, breathing him in. his ears fall back, droopy and tired, relaxed. ]
I'm sorry.
[ he says absently, muffled. ]
I called you back. The nothing isn't here. I'm not hurting myself. You don't have to stay if you weren't ready. [ he says, like he's not digging his claws in, like his tone doesn't get sad when he says it. you don't have to. don't trap yourself. slurred out, as he noses at therion: ]
I missed you. The pillows don't smell like you anymore.
[ oh my god. well, listen. he just pushes him over.
back, towards the bed. harmlessly, he pushes jiaoqiu over. if he's holding onto therion, then that's fine too, because he just goes with him. it's messy fall backwards, limbs everywhere, but it's gentle. ]
Shut up. [ god. he's not sure if he's saying it to all the slurred - not necessarily niceties, but the things he feels that he has to actually say - or to "i missed you", but it works, for both.
pushing him over puts them close, therion propping himself up and over him, staring at him - one focused, bright green eye. he thinks he should probably say something, but he catches himself just staring at jiaoqiu instead, flustered, pink across his nose, staring at jiaoqiu, pink faced and sprawled on this bed that they shared, that he missed therion in, that he just keeps saying that he missed him in , that he said he -
there are no words, so he just gives up, and kisses him. once, messier than he wants it to be, but he doesn't even know what to do or how to even begin to handle how he's feeling about this entire situation, but that seems to be a step in the right direction. ]
[ he makes a very embarrassing noise when therion knocks him over, like - almost a yelp. his center of gravity is absolutely fucked, and he's not very balanced when he's sober so he absolutely gets thrown down to the bed.
but therion comes with. props himself up over jiaoqiu, and he gets caught looking up at him, expression softening slightly at that bright green eye. if he wasn't so preoccupied, he'd run his fingers over his jade bracelet, admiring the matching color. his own gold ones are glazed, but pleased to be where he is. and he's even more pleased - if a little startled - by the way that therion kisses him. the noise he lets out is surprised, but. he very easily leans up into it. his tail loosely wraps around therion's leg, instinctively.
he is very clumsy with it, and it makes him dizzy. but he does his best to return it, because his brain is just a steady stream of yay! therion is here! i love him! i love when he kisses me! this is a nice dream.
his hands sort of just gently come up to hold onto him, too. if he can figure out where therion's hands are he will hold them, by god. ]
[ somehow, therion gets to be the one who pulls back from this more flustered. kissing him did get him to stop talking, but it doesn't make him any less embarrassed. everything about this is a mess, from the fact that he jumped out of a damn train to get over here, that he's getting sand everywhere, that jiaoqiu said that and he won't even remember it.
it probably doesn't mean anything - just drunk rambling, and it is that cold thought that finally frees him away from the actual kiss, except he can't even bring himself to be that cynical about it. no, the best he can manage is exasperation, pulling back a little to look at him more properly, red in the face and smacking his lips together like he tasted something weird, because. ]
Fuck, that's strong. You smell like a distillery.
[ god. okay. okay!!! whatever, he totally didn't just freak out about this, he totally didn't just literally throw aside whatever he was in the midst of doing to show up. he lets jiaoqiu grab onto one of his hands, but the other one comes up and takes his face, and then squishes it, and just stares at him for a second, like he's recalibrating exactly what to do with this situation. ]
[ he's kind of confused when therion pulls away, because he liked the kiss and he kind of wanted to do it more. he'd actually almost considered, when he'd crawled into their bed, calling therion and goading him into phone sex wherever he was, but then he started missing him too badly and it all went to feelings instead. those feelings are still swirling around in his chest, threatening to capsize him. they're a little distracted, at least.
a beat, as he tries to puzzle out why there is... sand everywhere. it takes him a second of staring at said sand before he realizes therion spoke. oh. right. boothill. scowls. ]
I had...
[ he says, squinting. ]
Four glasses. Asdana White Oak. [ which is like, stupidly strong liquor, it's boothill's favorite. fun fact, it comes with a fucking bullet in it because apparently that makes it taste better.
he's going to say more, but then therion's got his face in hand and he's being squished, and he makes a fussy sound, squirming. he does not let go of therion's hand, though. now you're trapped forever, thief boy. ]
[ help the scowl. this is the least threatening and scary frown he's ever seen. he feels himself think that it's cute and stops himself in his tracks, staring at jiaoqiu now that he's got his face squished. ]
No kidding. [ it sure tasted like four.
squishing him makes him feel a little less out of his mind insane, actually, a little more normal even if he's still red in the face and might be forever. though jiaoqiu has his hand, he keeps the other one on his face and squishes it again, scowling in the way that he's really just embarrassed. ]
You're gonna regret this in the morning, and I'm gonna have to hear all about it. [ god. he releases his face and then looks at him again, and starts to lean back like he's getting up. ] You need water.
jiaoqiu does not have the dexterity required right now to keep therion on the bed, so he does let therion get up, but he looks very sad about it. he knows he probably needs water, too, so. very thoroughly squished, jiaoqiu slowly sinks back down to the mattress right where he's sitting and hums. he's not even facing the right way, head at the foot of the bed. ]
Does that mean you'll be here when I wake?
[ he asks, looking up at therion a little hopefully. ]
[ mess!!! you are a mess. god, that just makes him feel even more embarrassed - it's such a reminder, that jiaoqiu wants him here. he knows it, considering he upended his entire life for this, but. still. he goes to the tap and fills up a cup of water, and brings it to jiaoqiu, looking unimpressed but no less embarrassed.
all the heat he could possibly have is just. nonexistent, even as he's frowning. his ears are red and they will stay that way. ]
I told you, you're not dreaming. So. Yes. Just - drink this. [ pushing the cup into his hands. god. he'll help him sit up if he's sprawling. ] I'm not holding your hair back for you when you're throwing up.
[ he is SUCH a mess - he hasn't had alcohol in years, and now he's paying for it with being a sloppy drunk. it feels kind of nice, though? it feels a little like letting himself sink into nihility but without the parts that hurt. that's dangerous. he should probably not drink again, he thinks absently.
but then therion comes back with water, and jiaoqiu tries his best to sit back up and fails, so therion does have to help him. he takes the cup in both hands and sips, leaning heavily on therion. ]
I won't vomit. [ he mumbles, tail wrapping around therion. a beat. ] I thought... I thought you were far away.
[ god. therion brushes himself off - after a minute, he kicks out of his shoes and sheds his hoodie, dumping a little more sand on the floor but now dumping far less on the bed, and attends to jiaoqiu as he is. when he fails at sitting, he just stands there so he can lean into his bare chest, supporting him with his body weight.
and when he speaks up again, he says, immediate, not really thinking - ] I was.
[ far away. or, at least, far enough. therion was planning on being farther. but jiaoqiu started to trip towards the void again, and on sheer impulsive drive, he came right back. he won't explain that - he wouldn't explain it normally, let alone like this. but he was kind of far, and he came back.
mmf. the tail winding around his leg is familiar, and he lets him hold on while he drinks his water, staring down at him, at the way jiaoqiu has unequivocally changed his life. his heart is racing hard, and unfortunately it's very near one of those fluffy ears, but he's not thinking about that, right now. ] Lay down, when you're done.
[ he is so! confused about the sand! why is there so much of it! is this his fault somehow. he's just kind of staring at it where it has collected on the bed between sips. there's not as much of it, at least. and he's distracted easily enough by therion's bare chest and how much he likes being skin to skin. he rubs his face a little against him, with a sigh.
he mulls over what therion says, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to his brain. he was far, but now he's not? did he teleport? his thoughts wander a little as he drinks, ear flicking gently against therion's chest.
lay down, he says, but jiaoqiu pauses, looking up at him. he's got good hearing. ]
... Are you alright? [ your heart is going so fast, he thinks, concerned. ]
anyway. the affectionate rubbing is allowed - he is so, so weak. he's weak normally, but somehow the one hit ko of being told "i love you" and now dealing with a critically cute and extremely drunk foxian is like, a lot, so he just lets him do whatever he wants.
"are you alright" is a funny question. he snorts. dry. the heartbeat is still going quick. ]
Should I be asking you that? [ god. is he alright? he doesn't know. sometimes he feels insane thinking about this entire situation. sometimes he thinks, bitterly, of how quickly this could go badly - even though it hasn't. he's always on the precipice of reopening that old wound, but this could be a step in the right direction.
there's a pause, and he looks down at jiaoqiu again, making eye contact, and then - after a hesitant moment, reaching and taking his face in his hands. it's not like he's going to remember, he is beyond wasted. ]
[ he is doing his absolute best, here. it's hard out there for a sloshed fox.
he frowns a little at the question. he's trying very, very hard to think of what he might have said that was wrong. was it his edging the void? he knows nihility upsets therion, even if he doesn't admit it. he's been careful about bringing it up - and really, it's been patched over clumsily for a few weeks now, harder to access, so that hasn't even been much of a problem.
still. life is too big. that feels more true than he wants it to, and he forgets about his water in favor of pressing a little closer to therion. hanging on. he's here. ]
... Yes? Did I say something wrong? [ he says finally, expression worried. it's a minefield, sometimes, with therion - he typically can find the triggers easily and avoid them, trained over time, but there are times where he's caught off guard, where he accidentally runs right into one. the look on his face suggests that he's afraid he offended therion somehow with his drunken rambling, ears pinning back against his skull. instinctively, he heavily rests his head in therion's hands, resisting the urge to break eye contact so he can nuzzle at his fingers.
it's not that he doesn't remember - it's just so natural to him in this state to say what he feels about therion that it doesn't occur to him that i love you is what is freaking therion out. ]
[ he's quiet, for a second. looking at the look on his face, the scared pin of his ears. a minefield is an understatement - despite this, he just holds his face when he presses in a little further, his rough thumbs briefly rubbing over his red cheeks. ]
Remind me. What'd you say.
[ just - just to see. just to see if he'll say it again. ]
[ a long pause, like he's trying to methodically work his way to the right answer, like he's doing his best to think through the sludge. he stares up at him with sleepy gold eyes, and eventually, he says: ]
... Life is too big. [ a beat. ] But I love you, and it keeps me here.
[ he lets go of his water with one hand to reach, resting his hand on therion's side. ]
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no subject
and then another picture, and this time it's of jiaoqiu. or, it probably is. it's very dark, and there's pink fur in the shot, and like, fabric? a blanket. it looks sort of like he took a selfie of him under a blanket, because that's exactly what he did. at least he's good at following directions. ]
I know
I want eventually soon
I like it here but I miss you
[ you said that already, you dingus ]
Therion
no subject
everything outside is dim and dusky, but the glowing lights of a familiar city will be passed by. he looks down at his phone, at the stupid, terrible picture that makes him laugh, and then close his eyes. i like it here, but i miss you. i miss you, therion. his chest feels tight. ]
MARKED AS READ 3:10AM
[ and then. after a beat, two. ]
cmon, full bed to yourself? no one kicking you?
were you like this before?
no subject
You know what I was like
[ which is maybe not what therion meant, but. ]
Waking up with you makes me feel like
[ ... ]
The bed is too big
Life is too big
no subject
he doesn't reply for a little while - a few minutes extra, because he's on the move. to the back of the train, to the little doors between. an in and out step into the cold desert night, then the next car. and then the next. and then the next, until he's at the back of the train. he checks his phone, glances outside. ]
stay on this planet, medicine man.
[ another pause between texts. sunshade's getting closer, now, the train rattling around the closest bend. he has to time this right. ]
or else.
no subject
that's true, he thinks. he's got a home. his home wanders away from him sometimes, but that's okay. his home always comes back.
no response for a bit, and then: ]
I'm here
I love you
no subject
and it's kind of convenient, in a way - because it's about time for him to jump.
therion's used to jumping. leaping across rooftops, despite the way sometimes his heart shudders at the height. he ignores it, lets the adrenaline power him through, the feeling that darius couldn't break him of his skills because he tried to break his body and his soul all in one go. but nothing kicks his fight or flight off than that. three simple words, typed into a phone.
he leaps.
and when he hits the ground in the sand, and rolls and rolls, he's still clutching his stupid burner phone, and he's so, so alive, and the phone screen still says "i love you". therion's gut instinct says its fake, that he's just drunk, that he does not mean that, that inevitably something like that is going to fall out from under him, more wobbly than the sand under his feet. too cynical. too much.
he's up to his feet in a second, in the outskirts of sunshade. fight or flight, not sure which one, but he's moving through the outskirts of familiarity, past rowdy bar-goers out late at night, through alleyways and dark corners, to a tavern in the center of town that is the closest thing he's ever called to a home.
he never responds to the text message, and time passes. that's probably scary. ten minutes, fifteen pass by. twenty, and there's nothing, like maybe he left it silent - message left on read.
but then, there's a tiny noise, the tchk-tchk of a latch unlocking, of a window sliding open. and like a bolt out of the. blue, covered in sand and looking dishelveled, a thief slides into jiaoqiu's room, feet thudding as he hits the ground, and making the least subtle entrance he's maybe ever made in his life. he's still holding his phone. ]
no subject
but jiaoqiu does not know about that now. he just says those words out loud, and he's so drunk that it doesn't even really occur to him to be freaked out about it. at first, anyway. but the message gets left on read, and he thinks - oh. oh, no? he said something wrong. eventually, therion said, he'd be back eventually, but what if this scared him? what if this was the one line he wasn't supposed to cross? what if he doesn't come back after this?
he waits. maybe he just needs to... maybe he just needs to wait.
therion, when he thuds into their room, will see jiaoqiu on the bed, clutching his phone. he's got it in both hands like a lifeline. that jade bracelet is sitting around his wrist - it never comes off, really. he's half dressed otherwise, with blankets tangled around him in disarray, and... he's asleep. or, he was. the thud gets his ear to flick, and he jolts slightly in the way people do when they're trying to pretend like they didn't pass out. he blinks groggily at his phone, like he thinks it made a noise, and then blearily looks up at the window, eyes unfocused.
he's sooo wasted, which means he has no control over the way his tail wags lamely when he sees therion, fuzzy brain trying to catch up with reality. ]
no subject
(i miss you. i love you.)
god. god, this was so uncool. it's all catching up to him as he stands there like an idiot for a long minute, staring at him, feeling his heart shrivel up in his chest and then burst into something brighter, something that just feels ridiculous. what did he run all the way here for? why did he -
god. he reaches up and scrubs a hand across his face, though it's not like he's upset or anything. just kind of flabbergasted, at himself, at this situation, and he pulls it down and looks at jiaoqiu, and then sighs. he just sighs to the heavens, and rolls his eyes, and comes over. his heart is pounding like a million miles an hour. ]
Aeber's asshole. [ he mutters, to himself, brushes himself off like he is Cool, and then comes over, folding his arms. ] Look at you.
no subject
but therion crosses the room and makes grouchy noises, and jiaoqiu is drunk but that doesn't mean his foxian senses don't work. he catches therion's scent, and his ears perk up. and then he's sitting up, dropping his phone on the floor and reaching for him with a pleased look. ]
You're back.
[ his stupid tail is now wagging in earnest. ]
Therion. [ soft, full of affection, sleepy. ] I'm dreaming. Therion.
no subject
he opens his mouth to say something else and then shuts it, rapidly, flustered at the sheer amount of dopey affection that is being beamed his way. the tailwagging. the sleepy, cute voice. this is a lot. he sees i love you in text at the back of his mind, flusters harder, and starts to reach for him so he doesn't like, fall off the bed. ]
Yeah, no. What kind of dreams are you having.
[ he should just push him over, but he does not do that, not even sure what to do with himself with this reaction. his ears are starting to turn red. ]
no subject
he is in fact about to fall off the bed, so therion catches him a bit, thankfully. he is half hanging out of it, wrapping his arms around therion and pressing his face to his chest, breathing him in. his ears fall back, droopy and tired, relaxed. ]
I'm sorry.
[ he says absently, muffled. ]
I called you back. The nothing isn't here. I'm not hurting myself. You don't have to stay if you weren't ready. [ he says, like he's not digging his claws in, like his tone doesn't get sad when he says it. you don't have to. don't trap yourself. slurred out, as he noses at therion: ]
I missed you. The pillows don't smell like you anymore.
no subject
back, towards the bed. harmlessly, he pushes jiaoqiu over. if he's holding onto therion, then that's fine too, because he just goes with him. it's messy fall backwards, limbs everywhere, but it's gentle. ]
Shut up. [ god. he's not sure if he's saying it to all the slurred - not necessarily niceties, but the things he feels that he has to actually say - or to "i missed you", but it works, for both.
pushing him over puts them close, therion propping himself up and over him, staring at him - one focused, bright green eye. he thinks he should probably say something, but he catches himself just staring at jiaoqiu instead, flustered, pink across his nose, staring at jiaoqiu, pink faced and sprawled on this bed that they shared, that he missed therion in, that he just keeps saying that he missed him in , that he said he -
there are no words, so he just gives up, and kisses him. once, messier than he wants it to be, but he doesn't even know what to do or how to even begin to handle how he's feeling about this entire situation, but that seems to be a step in the right direction. ]
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but therion comes with. props himself up over jiaoqiu, and he gets caught looking up at him, expression softening slightly at that bright green eye. if he wasn't so preoccupied, he'd run his fingers over his jade bracelet, admiring the matching color. his own gold ones are glazed, but pleased to be where he is. and he's even more pleased - if a little startled - by the way that therion kisses him. the noise he lets out is surprised, but. he very easily leans up into it. his tail loosely wraps around therion's leg, instinctively.
he is very clumsy with it, and it makes him dizzy. but he does his best to return it, because his brain is just a steady stream of yay! therion is here! i love him! i love when he kisses me! this is a nice dream.
his hands sort of just gently come up to hold onto him, too. if he can figure out where therion's hands are he will hold them, by god. ]
no subject
it probably doesn't mean anything - just drunk rambling, and it is that cold thought that finally frees him away from the actual kiss, except he can't even bring himself to be that cynical about it. no, the best he can manage is exasperation, pulling back a little to look at him more properly, red in the face and smacking his lips together like he tasted something weird, because. ]
Fuck, that's strong. You smell like a distillery.
[ god. okay. okay!!! whatever, he totally didn't just freak out about this, he totally didn't just literally throw aside whatever he was in the midst of doing to show up. he lets jiaoqiu grab onto one of his hands, but the other one comes up and takes his face, and then squishes it, and just stares at him for a second, like he's recalibrating exactly what to do with this situation. ]
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a beat, as he tries to puzzle out why there is... sand everywhere. it takes him a second of staring at said sand before he realizes therion spoke. oh. right. boothill. scowls. ]
I had...
[ he says, squinting. ]
Four glasses. Asdana White Oak. [ which is like, stupidly strong liquor, it's boothill's favorite. fun fact, it comes with a fucking bullet in it because apparently that makes it taste better.
he's going to say more, but then therion's got his face in hand and he's being squished, and he makes a fussy sound, squirming. he does not let go of therion's hand, though. now you're trapped forever, thief boy. ]
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No kidding. [ it sure tasted like four.
squishing him makes him feel a little less out of his mind insane, actually, a little more normal even if he's still red in the face and might be forever. though jiaoqiu has his hand, he keeps the other one on his face and squishes it again, scowling in the way that he's really just embarrassed. ]
You're gonna regret this in the morning, and I'm gonna have to hear all about it. [ god. he releases his face and then looks at him again, and starts to lean back like he's getting up. ] You need water.
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jiaoqiu does not have the dexterity required right now to keep therion on the bed, so he does let therion get up, but he looks very sad about it. he knows he probably needs water, too, so. very thoroughly squished, jiaoqiu slowly sinks back down to the mattress right where he's sitting and hums. he's not even facing the right way, head at the foot of the bed. ]
Does that mean you'll be here when I wake?
[ he asks, looking up at therion a little hopefully. ]
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all the heat he could possibly have is just. nonexistent, even as he's frowning. his ears are red and they will stay that way. ]
I told you, you're not dreaming. So. Yes. Just - drink this. [ pushing the cup into his hands. god. he'll help him sit up if he's sprawling. ] I'm not holding your hair back for you when you're throwing up.
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but then therion comes back with water, and jiaoqiu tries his best to sit back up and fails, so therion does have to help him. he takes the cup in both hands and sips, leaning heavily on therion. ]
I won't vomit. [ he mumbles, tail wrapping around therion. a beat. ] I thought... I thought you were far away.
Mmm... dizzy.
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and when he speaks up again, he says, immediate, not really thinking - ] I was.
[ far away. or, at least, far enough. therion was planning on being farther. but jiaoqiu started to trip towards the void again, and on sheer impulsive drive, he came right back. he won't explain that - he wouldn't explain it normally, let alone like this. but he was kind of far, and he came back.
mmf. the tail winding around his leg is familiar, and he lets him hold on while he drinks his water, staring down at him, at the way jiaoqiu has unequivocally changed his life. his heart is racing hard, and unfortunately it's very near one of those fluffy ears, but he's not thinking about that, right now. ] Lay down, when you're done.
[ if he's dizzy. ]
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he mulls over what therion says, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to his brain. he was far, but now he's not? did he teleport? his thoughts wander a little as he drinks, ear flicking gently against therion's chest.
lay down, he says, but jiaoqiu pauses, looking up at him. he's got good hearing. ]
... Are you alright? [ your heart is going so fast, he thinks, concerned. ]
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anyway. the affectionate rubbing is allowed - he is so, so weak. he's weak normally, but somehow the one hit ko of being told "i love you" and now dealing with a critically cute and extremely drunk foxian is like, a lot, so he just lets him do whatever he wants.
"are you alright" is a funny question. he snorts. dry. the heartbeat is still going quick. ]
Should I be asking you that? [ god. is he alright? he doesn't know. sometimes he feels insane thinking about this entire situation. sometimes he thinks, bitterly, of how quickly this could go badly - even though it hasn't. he's always on the precipice of reopening that old wound, but this could be a step in the right direction.
there's a pause, and he looks down at jiaoqiu again, making eye contact, and then - after a hesitant moment, reaching and taking his face in his hands. it's not like he's going to remember, he is beyond wasted. ]
Do you remember what you sent me?
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he frowns a little at the question. he's trying very, very hard to think of what he might have said that was wrong. was it his edging the void? he knows nihility upsets therion, even if he doesn't admit it. he's been careful about bringing it up - and really, it's been patched over clumsily for a few weeks now, harder to access, so that hasn't even been much of a problem.
still. life is too big. that feels more true than he wants it to, and he forgets about his water in favor of pressing a little closer to therion. hanging on. he's here. ]
... Yes? Did I say something wrong? [ he says finally, expression worried. it's a minefield, sometimes, with therion - he typically can find the triggers easily and avoid them, trained over time, but there are times where he's caught off guard, where he accidentally runs right into one. the look on his face suggests that he's afraid he offended therion somehow with his drunken rambling, ears pinning back against his skull. instinctively, he heavily rests his head in therion's hands, resisting the urge to break eye contact so he can nuzzle at his fingers.
it's not that he doesn't remember - it's just so natural to him in this state to say what he feels about therion that it doesn't occur to him that i love you is what is freaking therion out. ]
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Remind me. What'd you say.
[ just - just to see. just to see if he'll say it again. ]
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... Life is too big. [ a beat. ] But I love you, and it keeps me here.
[ he lets go of his water with one hand to reach, resting his hand on therion's side. ]
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