[ and so, life moves on. therion never stays for more than a few days at a time, but he does stay. when he leaves, its for his own safety, to keep himself from staying longer than he should, and sometimes for just the need to get out. after a few weeks of that, he buys a burner phone and leaves a note with the phone number on jiaoqiu's nightstand when he's planning on skipping town for a while, and he makes himself more accessible than he has in the past, bit by tiny bit. the weeks blur into a few more months, into time passing, and therion steps in and out of his life in a manner that is almost routine, three or four nights a week as opposed to once every two weeks at best. and though there is never a single moment as close to what could have been a confession ever again, he doesn't stop coming around. what was a perceived rejection was enough to spook him, but not so far away that he runs for good. somehow, more guarded but less, all at once. he sneaks into his bed in broad daylight, even lets jiaoqiu fuss over him when he catches a stupid cold (though admittedly, he has to nearly pass out on his doorstep before he admits that he's ill, but that's a therion problem).
it takes time, but the built trust is steadier than it was before.
it's one of those weeks where he's been gone - responding to texts, but otherwise out halfway across the continent, taking time out by the sea just because he can. he sends pictures, occasionally - they're not the best quality, but they're there. sunrises over the ocean. a weird vegetable with a single "?". a stray cat on the side of the road. and by the time he's made his way back to the city, there's a little magnet pull in his chest that tells him to go -- to go home, which is such a fucking scary concept, but he lets it stay subconscious and lets his feet carry him, late night, to the pharmacy. he likes to wander in here, here and there. it's funny, to smile charmingly at the night guard and pretend that he's not the absolute nightmare of a person that he is, and get her tongue wagging when he walks jiaoqiu home. that's what's on his mind as he makes his way through the automatic doors, and then he looks towards the counter.
standing there is a figure he hasn't seen in years. orange hair, slicked back. leather jacket, leaning on the counter and talking casually to jiaoqiu. smile on his face. he's roguish and good at banter - he talks like an insane person, with his stupid fucking slang that therion would recognize from a mile away - and seeing darius in this fucking pharmacy is like taking a bat to a pane of glass, and therion freezes in the doorway, and just. he just stares. his tongue feels like it's made of cotton, feet made of lead, single green eye wide.
darius, of course, is oblivious to this. he's making a legitimate purchase - picking up some prescribed scar cream, something completely unthreatening, completely mundane. Got take care of the ol' stunner if I wanna settle down in this town, eh? with a teasing gesture to his face, to the scar across his nose. going to the doctor. existing.
therion's first instinct is to fucking run. but the thought that he could be trying to rob the store sticks, steal from the store just like therion did, and he squares his shoulders in the doorway even though he's - terrified? angry? bad, awful, everything feels awful, he thinks about how little jiaoqiu cares about his own fucking life and he sucks in a breath and he doesn't move, staring at him, at both of them from the front of the store like a hawk. ]
Edited (THE REST OF MY SENTENCE) 2024-10-16 15:05 (UTC)
[ it's almost unsteady, the time passing. jiaoqiu can't quite figure out if he needs to sink or not - therion is more regularly around, he lets him be close, but there's still an amount of distance that makes jiaoqiu feel like he broke something. here and there, over the time that passes, the void gets especially bad, and he loses days at a time, only really waking up halfway through therion's visits. he knows it scares him, and he tries not to, but there's only so much he can do, some days.
still - therion is here. he texts, and jiaoqiu texts back. replies to sunrises with a colorful variety of poems, identifies vegetables, sends pictures of his own - the sunlight peeking through his window in the bedroom, a running shower, a meal he's particularly proud of. there is never time where he can't be pulled out of the void, even sometimes it takes a minute. he takes care of therion when he's sick or injured, he yanks him to bed, he makes him food, and does not talk about his past again. it's not bad. he likes it. he looks forward to whenever he gets home and there's a thief in his bed, and he keeps his phone close at all times. his heart aches when he thinks too much about it. sushang teases him about it, a little - when's your boyfriend coming back around, huh? and he doesn't ever answer.
and then it's now. therion's been somewhere with the ocean, and he's been enjoying the pictures he gets. but it's the middle of his shift, and there's a customer, so. he leaves his phone on the desk, and goes to chat.
this guy is... charming. or rather, he thinks he is. and jiaoqiu can imagine a lot of people are probably into what this guy is selling, but there's something about him that makes his fur stand on end. not in fear, though. his usual placid smile is in place, and therion can see it where he's standing - there's a decidedly annoyed tinge to the way his ears are positioned, something that a stranger would never notice.
the scar in particular, funnily enough, makes him think of therion. ]
New here, hm? [ he says idly, as he checks over the cream. ] Well. This should help.
[ pushes the cream over the counter with that same smile. ]
[ "Yeah. Something like that." says the man - there's a fake name on his identification that matches the prescription. he's casual and relaxed, the kind of guy with all the confidence in the world, as he takes a look around the pharmacy and then grins, a slow smile. "Think I'm gonna like it here. Lots of opportunity." and then puts his hands on his own face and says, playful, bemoaning, "Tell me 's not that bad, doc, eh? Give a bloke a little reassurance, here."
there's nothing remotely threatening in what he says. it's even flirty at the end, playful, silly. and - this is a pharmacy. stealing from a pharmacy is not usually the kind of bag that therion and darius would go for when they worked together, either. they stole from people who deserved it, only stole supplies when they needed them themselves. but that was then, and who fucking knows now, who knows what darius does or says or -
- he's forgotten about every other positive thought he had on the way in here. the way he was looking forward to bullying jiaoqiu a little. the dinner that he'd inevitably make, the bickering over food, sitting on his counter to make him nag. it's all gone, replaced with ice cold anxiety and fright and something bitter, so, so bitter. it feels like he's having an out of body experience, staring at darius' back that he's stared at so many times. he's gotten taller. broader. just as in your face, just as loud of a presence as he could always be, taking up all the air in the room or none of it. he used to think that was amazing, how easily he could turn it off to steal. (but never as well as therion could, and that was the crux of the issue.)
the urge to flee battles with the urge to - he can't leave jiaoqiu alone with him, but he can't show his face, either. finally, he looks past him, enough to see jiaoqiu's ears change, and he thinks, distantly, maybe, thank fucking god. he's present, at least, he can tell something's wrong with darius, he's not buying what he's selling. therion needs to do something. he needs to kick his survival instinct back into gear.
but he doesn't, is the thing. he's not sure he's even breathing. he's white knuckled his hands into fists at his side, battling with himself over the past and - the present, at least, the present if not the future, and his eyes dart around the room out of instinct. escape routes. looking for hidden weapons on darius. looking at the cash register, calculating the distance between it and darius. looking to see if he has any allies - and doesn't that fucking sting, which he hates himself for - and seeing no one in here but jiaoqiu, and darius, and... maybe sushang or hanya, but they're like shades in his peripherial right now, barely present. fuck. fuck. ]
[ there's really nothing wrong with this guy other than he's the kind of customer that jiaoqiu doesn't like dealing with. the flirty nature of it, the sense of I can get away with this because you have to be nice to me because it's your job - his tail flicks a little with that annoyance, but. it's fine. he won't think about how lots of opportunity makes him uneasy. there's no reason to think something is wrong, even if his gut is telling him that this guy is trouble. they're in public, even if it is late at night, and sushang is a very capable girl. if he starts something, she'll take care of it. he's just disgruntled because he doesn't like being flirted with by strangers.
doc, he says. fluff. furball.
jiaoqiu breathes in through his nose deep. exhales through his mouth. and then pats the counter with that same empty, pleasant smile. ]
You're well aware that it isn't that bad, sir. [ tries to inject levity, tries to get away from this. he wants to go rot in the backroom, thanks. ] Apply that cream once a day. Make sure to eat a good meal directly after - it'll help.
[ behind therion, sushang says brightly, "Oh! Hey! Uncle J is gonna be so excited to see you!" ]
[ "A good meal, eh... fuck me if I ain't Hank Marvin." says darius. starving, therion translates, automatically, from years and years of habit, of understanding darius' speech pattern, of learning everything he could about him to continue to stay at his side. he watches him take the bag from jiaoqiu and tuck it in his pocket, watches him flip a coin with his thumb and hand over some cash across the counter with a flourish to pay for the medication, and say, playfully, "Not so lucky that you're about to get off your shift, am I? Don't know my ass from my end around this place yet."
it's a perfectly normal interaction, from a paying if kind of obnoxious customer. it's almost over, and sluggishly, automatically, therion makes himself move, because his brain registers that he's paying and he's leaving and he's going to see him.
therion manages to take one heavy, out of body step to the left, towards the shelving where the bandages are, and then another, and that's when sushang speaks up. it startles him so bad that he almost pulls a knife, but he doesn't, hands shoving harder into his pockets as he turns around to look at her. as darius also turns around, at the noise, glancing over at the front door.
despite how he tends to disappear, therion has never looked - skittish, before. not like this. not in the way that his startled expression is fully on view, and it should give the immediate impression that something is wrong. it's that feral trapped animal look again, the one with its paw stuck in a trap, a cat with a fully bristled tail. he has to do something. he has to say something to sushang, he has to act normal, he's been seen, and he knows he's looking, and he can't just disappear around the corner, not this time.
it lasts for two seconds of stunned silence before he composes himself, hands clenched into fists and shoved into his pockets, and just gives her a sup nod, because he doesn't fucking trust his mouth to say a single word, and he doesn't need darius to recognize him. maybe he won't. he's got his hood up, he's back in town for the first time in a week or so, and it has been years since the last time therion saw darius' face, looking down at him from the edge of a cliff.
there's a long pause on darius' end, too. he just kind of stares, for a moment, forgetting about his change or anything else. ]
[ jiaoqiu only just barely stops himself from frowning. there's no survival instinct here, so he doesn't even think twice about some weirdo asking him if he's free in the seediest part of town. no, the instinct is I'm taken, which is an absolutely fucking buckwild response because one, where did that come from, and two, he has no idea what he and therion are but it sure as fuck is not taken. also, therion isn't even in town. what a stupid thought.
jiaoqiu pushes the change across the counter. ]
Sorry, your luck isn't so grand tonight. [ he says, a bit stiff, even as darius turns. and then, firmly: ] Have a nice night, sir.
[ it's time for you to leave.
sushang is a good girl, so she also startles a little when therion looks at her like he does, and immediately apologizes a little frantically. and waits, like she's expecting therion to say something, but when he doesn't, she kind of nervously laughs and tucks her hair behind her ear.
"Oh, um. Sorry, really. Are you okay? You are here to see him, right? Do you want me to come with you?" she asks, babbling.
jiaoqiu follows darius's gaze, and - stupidly, even after everything - his ears perk up when he sees that purple hood, pleased. all at once, he can hear the clock ticking in the background, sushang's voice, the faint top 40s song playing above them. ]
[ well, surprise!!!! he is in fact in town!!! he's in your pharmacy!!!!
darius doesn't even take his change at first - he's squinting at the person in purple across the room. therion can feel his gaze on him, and worse, he can hear sushang like she's talking to him through water - you are here to see him. he's almost banking on darius not recognizing him, now, because he feels his chest absolutely clench at the terrifying idea of him making that connection. he should leave. he should run. he should ignore sushang and turn around, and hightail it directly out of this city, as far away as humanly possible.
but the thing is, in a moment like this, therion's pride wins every time. he doesn't want darius to see him running like a cockroach uncovered from a rock. his shoulders roll backwards, and with his heart pounding and his fists clenched, he regards sushang with a smile. not unusual - he often greets her with a completely fake, friendly persona, just because he thinks its funny to make jiaoqiu cringe. ]
Think I got it. Thanks.
[ though it's definitely not as well practiced as usual. his tongue feels too big for his mouth.
he doesn't move right away, and he doesn't have to. the guy at the counter makes a low noise. his voice picks up a different timber, going from a genuine lack of recognition to something that feels almost... delighted? but the connotation's all wrong. "Well, hang me. Ain't that a coincidence? Therion, that you?"
fuck. he turns, finally, properly, and for the first time in years, he's eye to eye with darius. he's clenching his fists so hard in his pockets that he's drawing blood with his nails, his expression forced into nonchalance despite the fact that he's about to vibrate out of this plane of existence. if you didn't know him, you'd never be able to tell. (and that's the problem, is two people in this room, do.
or. one of them thinks he does, at least.) ] Darius. [ he says, tightly, giving a curt nod.
darius looks him over - up, down. "Gordon Bennet, I thought you'd be dead by now. Ain't grown an inch, have you? This your haunt?"
all therion does is snort, the noise sharp, his voice low, and says: ] No, it's not. [ but it's not enough of an answer. he knows its a mistake, because darius isn't stupid, and the spreading smile of interest on his face is enough to prove it.
in the meantime, jiaoqiu even from a distance has to be able to tell that therion is wildly uncomfortable, that he's about to fucking bolt - it's not an unfamiliar expression. ]
well. jiaoqiu doesn't like this. his fur stands on end, as he watches darius approach therion, as he sees the clear discomfort in therion's posture. he can hear the conversation clearly, his ears twitching.
sushang watches the two of them for a second, and then glances over at jiaoqiu, who looks like he's about to climb the counter, and puts her hands on her hips.
"Is this guy bothering you?" she asks, completely clueless, just in time for jiaoqiu to very pointedly slam the door to his office behind him. she startles, looking up, as jiaoqiu makes his way over and starts arranging things on the shelves. he doesn't say anything and he doesn't look at either of them, but his presence is loud. for all that jiaoqiu can melt into nothing, there's still a part of him that used to be an advisor during the peak of war. there's a sort of danger to him that wasn't there before - not a rattlesnake, but a brightly colored frog, confident in its place. he doesn't have the muscle to intimidate, but he doesn't need it - there's an abyss inside him waiting to leak out, there's a curdling and rancid fire, made from burnt oil and melted plastic, waiting to strike. this is his pharmacy. it is not an invitation to linger. it's a suggestion to leave.
he knows better than to imply that he knows therion. even if it is obvious - he's practically bristling, protective, putting boxes down aggressively. ]
don't overreact. don't overreact. don't let him know that you care, don't let him know anything, don't show him anything. darius regards him for a second, and he's about to say something when sushang speaks up, and then the door slams. both therion and darius, in perfect unison, jump - both trained to be just as high alert, both used to living the same shitty life, that just happened two be intertwined, and darius glances behind him as therion stares at the slammed door. ]
...No. [ therion says, after a moment, and the sardonic lace to his tone is something like self-deprecating, something sharp. all edges, all teeth. ] No, he's not.
[ "Nah." says darius in response, too, turning slowly away from the pink figure loudly stacking boxes - staring after jiaoqiu for a moment too long, one that makes the hair on the back of therion's neck stand up - and then slowly turning back. "We go way back - just been a proper minute since I saw this tea leaf scarperin' around. I won't tread on your manor, Therion."
that rankles him even worse - all those feelings of dread curdle violently in his stomach, and he feels the bite of his nails into his palm to keep him here. his manor. his turf. the worst part is he doesn't even know which part he's referring to. it might be the place. it might be jiaoqiu. the assumption either way is a bad sign.
darius adjusts his bag, and doffs an imaginary hat to sushang. "Tell your boss I said hope he's feelin' better, birdie. And, Therion - hah. Maybe you can give me a butcher 'round. Just like old times, eh?" ]
Pass. [ he says, sharply. no, the last thing he wants to do is give darius a fucking tour. the other thief gives him a long look, and then - whistling a tune that's downright jaunty, he heads out of the door with a cheerful ding like he didn't just walk in and send therion's entire life crashing down with a couple of sentences, with his very presence in this room.
and as he's gone, therion doesn't even move, at first, just sort of staring after him, his heart pounding so hard he can feel the blood roaring in his ears. ]
[ she's a good girl she tries her best!! she has NO idea what the fuck is going on, but she can feel the tension and she's on edge. she watches darius saunter his way out of the pharmacy with a scowl, folding her arms across her chest.
"Wow, he seems like a jerk," she says, glancing over at jiaoqiu - and there's a pause, before she continues: "... I'm going to go make sure he didn't mess anything up. Call me if you need me, okay?"
and then she wanders off, leaving jiaoqiu and therion alone.
jiaoqiu is not an angry person, but there's something about the way that darius spoke that rankles him. that unsettles him, in a way, because the way he took up the room reminded him so forcefully of a certain wolf, big and cocky and ruthless. so - he's not angry. he's not scared, and he doesn't even think twice about the way darius looked him over like a piece of meat, or some sort of tool. he's defensive, ready to bite. it's a concentrated effort to chill himself out before he turns to therion entirely.
[ sushang says something to him and honestly, he has no idea what it is. the entire world feels like it's underwater. if he knew better, he'd realize he was about to have a panic attack - and in fact, he just might have, if left on his own long enough. staring out after darius' back, his nails still dug into his palms, he hasn't moved a muscle, he's barely breathing by the time jiaoqiu makes his way over.
it's the sound of his own name that finally snaps him out of it. his pupils dart from the door to jiaoqiu, back to the door - he takes a deep breath, and his eyes snap back to jiaoqiu standing beside him. he thinks about that smile on darius' face when he said, your manor. he feels like he's going to jitter out of his skin, like a piece of broken glass, like static, like he's moving at lightspeed and through molasses all at the same time. ]
What. [ what, because that's all he can say. it's all therion can manage, at first, forced flat, forced nonchalant and failing. forced unaffected, and failing. ]
[ he says, in that same tone. he doesn't reach out, because therion looks like he's going to climb the walls, or stab something, or both. he's not afraid, he just doesn't want to make it worse. jiaoqiu, of all people, can understand a panic response like this, even if he doesn't exactly get why it's happening. doesn't matter. the first step is to get him somewhere safe. ]
Will you come home with me?
[ it is less of a question and more like, we should leave. ]
Perhaps we can stop to eat somewhere first.
[ so they can make sure they're not being followed. he's leaving it up to therion, but he's very clearly not going anywhere. ]
[ he's fine. he's fine, he's fine, it's cool, it's fine. everything still feels like it's moving through sludge.
the first comment - because it's not a question, he almost opens his mouth and says something stupid, but jiaoqiu suggests something else and it settles, because. yeah. yeah, yeah, the last fucking thing he wants is for someone to follow him. he doubts darius himself would, but he can't imagine he's completely by himself. (not like therion is, anyway, and the idea makes him rankle even worse, makes his expression look thunderous, but he reaches up and scrubs at his face with one hand. ]
Yeah. [ another harsh inhale, exhale. ] You pick.
[ fucking bolting is not going to help, even though he kind of wants out of this city let alone out of this building, but he's not going to let this affect him that much, because that pisses him off too. this shouldn't bother him that much. why the fuck does this still bother him that much? why does he even care? god, that's so annoying - he rubs his face again, one handed, and shakes his head. ] Whatever.
[ he has a lot of little places around town that he likes. the food is important - it's normal. it's routine, and it is in public, where nobody can attack them without causing a scene. they can find a little cart somewhere. sit outside, in view of people, not enclosed. he heads back into the office briefly to grab his things, and then comes back to therion. ]
May I touch you? Yes or no, not whatever.
[ he just wants to put his hand on therion's back, to lead him - to connect them, a little. the response therion is having to this encounter is worrying, and he's not entirely sure how to help, but he can be steady. at least his instincts are still somewhat sharp, he thinks idly. he knew that dude was an ass.
either way, he'll lead him out of the pharmacy, ears perked and alert. nothing is going to sneak up on them. ]
[ therion steps outside when jiaoqiu is gathering his things and looks around, because he can't stop himself from it. paranoid, always paranoid, and a look once, twice, three times, shows no strange faces, no random unfamiliar people, no one lurking in dark corners. therion knows these dark corners, he knows where any fucking thug would hide out in this place, because he's hidden out there, and it doesn't exactly help him relax, but it's something.
when jiaoqiu comes back out, he's jittering in place, hands still in his pockets, and when he asks him a question -- something just occurs to him like, a second too late, and though jiaoqiu so nicely asks it, therion reaches out and grabs onto him, around the wrist, smearing blood from his palm across his sleeve or his skin, and then starts pulling. he just pulls jiaoqiu away, into the closest little dark area he can find, and turns to face him, and in a low, urgent voice, just - ]
Check your pockets. Did he threaten you?
[ it's intense, his eyes just as intense, darting over jiaoqiu, over the alleyway, above their heads, making sure there is nothing here and no one else here, checking over jiaoqiu, watching him with a sort of urgency and panic that is unmistakable. ]
[ it surprises him, as it usually does when therion grabs him out of nowhere. but - he's fine with being pulled out of the place, and follows obediently. of course, until the smell of blood hits his nose, and then he's very alert, making a protesting noise as therion drags him into an alley. whatever he says to him at first is ignored, because jiaoqiu shifts his grip, holding therion's hand in both of his own, looking it over. did he dig his nails in too hard?
he does not bother looking in his pockets. ]
No. He flirted with me, poorly.
[ jiaoqiu says, with a hint of disgust. he presses his sleeve to whatever the blood came from, ear flicking violently. and then he tries to catch therion's gaze, expression softening. ]
[ he sure did! there are thin crescents in his palms from the bite of his stubby nails - it's not a lot of blood, but it's blood nonetheless. familiar injuries, though usually in a much more positive manner, and usually on jiaoqiu, not the other way around. when he takes his hand, he makes a protesting noise of his own when he doesn't fucking check, is he not listening - therion jostles closer and shoves his own hand in jiaoqiu's stupid fucking pockets as if this would help, feeling around like he could tell if anything was missing. if he has his wallet this makes him like one inch less ready to explode off the face of the earth.
in the meantime, the sharp, rapid fire questions continue, ignoring him. ]
Was there any medicine on the counter? Did you check the cash register?
[ a tremor quakes through his hands, just once, and therion bites back a half growl of frustration. he doesn't yank his hand out of jiaoqiu's grip, but he does pull the other one away from his pockets once he's satisfied. good. he's fine. it's fine. it's -] You wouldn't have any idea if you weren't.
[ fine. or at least, he sure as hell wouldn't have any idea that he got pickpocketed. they were both good at it, was the thing - therion was always better, which was the crux of the issue, but he can only imagine how darius has improved in the many years that have passed.
belatedly, take a breath registers, and he does, but no one would call it anything near relaxing. therion brings his free hand up and scrubs it over his face again, leaving a little blood on his cheek, and then he looks around again, like he's checking their surroundings. ]
[ he does in fact have his wallet on him, he's not missing anything, probably. he tends not to carry a lot on him anyway, just his phone and the flimsiest excuse for a wallet ever. he'd be very impressed if darius managed to steal anything from jiaoqiu specifically with a counter between them, when jiaoqiu did not take his eyes off him for a moment. he's old, not blind. anymore, anyway.
still, he gets it. he lets therion dig around in his pockets, with a huff. ]
I didn't check the cash register. The only medicine was his own.
[ calmly. he's measured, gently wiping the blood from therion's palm. a beat, and then he pushes therion's sleeve up his arm and presses his fingers to therion's pulse. not for any medical reason, just to say that he's here. there's no panic or fear in him, just... concern, mostly, and it shows on his face. ]
I'm a healer. I know very well when there's something wrong with me. Therion.
[ look at him. telegraphed, very clear where he's reaching, jiaoqiu tilts therion's face away from frantically looking around, and directs his gaze to jiaoqiu's. he wipes the blood from his cheek, adjusts therion's hair so it's safely over his ruined eye, his own gold eyes soft and worried. ]
[ listen no one ever said he was rational. this is not even remotely close to a rational response.
the feeling of his pulse cements it - it is going rabbit fast, to the point that it's certainly unhealthy, and it hasn't calmed down for a second since they left the store, and it might not for hours. he feels so wildly on edge, like a prey animal in a predator's territory, and that makes him feel even worse. the twin feelings of anxious awful dread and fury that it's still bothering him this much, that he can't just fucking shake this off.
the telegraphed movement stops him from looking around, even though he's clearly still incredibly tense. he doesn't flinch or anything, but he's holding himself unnaturally still, unnaturally fine, he's fine, he's fine. explain, jiaoqiu says. he doesn't even know where to start. the worry in his eyes feels like he's breathing in cold air again, bracing and unfamiliar and he knows how honest it is. the little gesture like he sets his armor back into place, all honest, too.
a few months ago, he would've shoved this away. no, no thank you, no i won't, goodbye forever. at this point, though - therion says, gruffly, finally: ]
Not here.
[ not - this close to the pharmacy. not in public. he pulls away a little, looks down and then back. ] Come on.
[ and he doesn't offer much explanation beyond that, because he steps back, and then he steps out to the edge of the alleyway, and then he waits. a nonverbal "follow me" - though therion doesn't ever let jiaoqiu out of his peripherial, really, but if he'll follow, they can go. ]
[ something in jiaoqiu, when he feels that rabbit-quick pulse, makes him want to wrap therion up and hold him. he knows that's not what you're supposed to do with panicking people, of course, but the instinct to take care of him and help him calm down is so strong that he can barely handle it. he wants to kiss him and put a blanket around his shoulders and sit him down in his warm apartment, it's okay, you're safe here.
but he lets therion call the shots. because - therion doesn't turn him down. doesn't run. he trusts him, and it's such a relief. it makes his whole body ache with it. he thinks about saying thank you. he doesn't, but it's clear in his expression.
he'll step in if it seems like therion leading is actually going to hurt him, but for now, jiaoqiu is obedient and calm. a rock, a lighthouse. he lets therion go, brushing his hand down therion's back in a comforting gesture as he turns. and then he follows. ]
I'm with you.
[ he says, easily enough. just a reminder. he's not going anywhere but to wherever therion is taking him. ]
[ he doesn't say anything else - he reacts a little to the hand, briefly straightening, still utterly tense, but then nods. i'm with you. and he thinks, that's gonna be the fucking problem to himself, viciously, but he lets it go.
and. well, they're not going to the nice warm apartment. that's for sure. in fact, therion leads the way briskly, constantly looking back and over his shoulder, slipping through the roughshod district of town. they take a path that twists and turns, clearly the long, long way around. for blocks, for a while - ten, fifteen, twenty, nearly thirty minutes of what would be a meandering, winding stroll were it not laced with his own anxiety. it probably does look a little sketchy to be doing this, but if jiaoqiu trusts him for some fucking reason, they come back out into a nicer part of town, past many pretty nice houses, and eventually, to a train station, and beyond that, to a dilapidated old building that might be an apartment complex, or like, maybe a condemned hotel. but therion pushes the back door of this building open with a flick of his wrist and holds it for jiaoqiu, until the door shuts with a final click. he looks up, around, checks his surroundings, and then leads him up (sorry) a lot of stairs.
however, eventually, down a dingy hallway with barely working lights and musty old carpet, he stops at a door and produces - a key, and pops the door open.
it's an apartment. it's. not great? it's really not great. jiaoqiu's might be bland, but it's a marked improvement over this little place, which consists of a tiny kitchenette, what amounts to a nest of blankets and a couple of pillows settled onto what looks like an air mattress, and a backpack of some kind leaning against a wall, a shitty bathroom with a tiny shower, and... that's about it. it's drafty as hell in here, but after some fiddling, therion flicks on a buzzy, old light and there's the click-click-click of three deadbolts, and he leans against the door and sighs.
he feels like he needs - god. a drink, that sounds fucking great, and without any other word, he pushes off the door and goes to the tiny kitchen cabinets and out of nowhere pulls out a really fucking nice bottle of whiskey and a couple of cups.
but talk about a sign of trust. this is his safehouse - the tiny, shitty place he used to spend time the most when he was in this town. his voice is low, gravel, but jiaoqiu can see that his tension level's come down a peg or two just by being here. ]
Shouldn't have been followed. [ a pause. and then a little more normal, a little more dryly; ] Hope you're not expecting a lot of hospitality.
[ outside, the sound of a train rumbling in the distance can be heard - as it passes by, it rattles the floor and walls of this apartment, indicating exactly why it's the way it is. therion holds still until it passes, and then pops the top off of the fancy booze and goes to pour himself a glass. ]
[ okay, well, this is the worst apartment in the world
jiaoqiu follows him easily enough, though by the end of it, especially when they have to go up a lot of stairs, he's out of breath. he is not built for a lot of physical activity - he takes public transit to work, and the elevator to his apartment. he's not going to die when they reach the hallway, but he looks like he's worn out, at the very least. especially in the cold, especially after a long shift. he doesn't complain, but his tail droops behind him and he's panting. lame.
of course, then therion lets them inside, and jiaoqiu forgets about being tired.
the inside of the apartment - the whole building, really - pains him. he's not unused to places like this, and he's by no means prissy about having to stay in a rundown building - he slept in tents for a good part of his life, in the mud, on the battlefield. it's just that thinking about therion being camped out here, in a place that barely counts as shelter... therion, curling up next to him in the warmth of jiaoqiu's bed, searching for heat, it's all very present in his mind. he looks over the flickering light, the blanket nest. the draft makes him shiver, his ears pinning back. the train makes him jump a bit, if only because he's not expecting it.
this probably isn't the first nest therion's had to stay in, jiaoqiu thinks.
and then therion pours himself a glass of whiskey, and jiaoqiu wanders after him and carefully slips his arms around him from behind. he hugs him, burying his face against therion's neck, and just stays there, eyes closed. jiaoqiu doesn't have a lot of body heat naturally, but he tries to give over some, anyway.
for right now he doesn't answer the snark, he's just. glad to see him, and very much wanting to Take Care. ]
[ NOT THE DROOPY TAIL any other time he'd be teasing him about his lack of stamina, but he's so very distressed at the moment that he does not. that's how you really know something's up.
it doesn't even really occur to him to be ashamed about the condition of this place, at least right now. it's safe - it's the first feeling of safety that he's had since he walked into that pharmacy, actually, because he knows they weren't followed, and he knows that if for some fucking reason someone tries to find him now, they'll just go to this place, which is as disposable as any other place he rests his head. jiaoqiu's gut feeling is correct - he's had many of these, in many different cities. early in his life, they were shared, but for the past few years, it's just been him in these little safehouses, alone, just the way he likes it. (or pretends to, at least.) this one's one of the better ones - it doesn't smell particularly terrible, and despite the train rattling by at all hours, he's gotten used to it, and he knows its hard to find, so it's one of the safest ones he's ever stayed in.
he still has to explain to jiaoqiu what the actual fuck is going on, but he's pretty sure he'll be able to do it better once he's calmed his nerves down, and despite not really being much of a drinker - he is way too paranoid for that - this should at least take the edge off. he must be clearly out of it, because he doesn't even really register that jiaoqiu is behind him (or maybe he just knows that he's safe) until he's right there, and though he jumps a little, it's not as bad as it could be.
he doesn't stop him. and in fact, after a very, very long beat, he just exhales out and leans a tiny bit into it. he doesn't want to explain, is the thing, and he feels shitty and exhausted just from one stupid fucking interaction, and that annoys him even worse. ugh.
just. ugh. he just holds the glass, and for a second, closes his eyes. ]
gently, he pets therion's side with his hand, an absent little motion. it's more for himself than it is for therion, but he imagines it won't hurt. his arms are low, giving therion room to drink if he wants to, full range of movement, but he's not letting go.
therion's less tense, he can tell, but not nearly enough, and jiaoqiu thinks about the way his pulse was going so fast he was in danger of a heart attack, and just hugs him a little more tightly. there's a lot of trust here, and he does see it. the way that therion doesn't hit him or push him away out of instinct from coming up behind him, the way he leans into it. the way he brought jiaoqiu here at all.
a sigh, after a long moment, and then: ]
Do you want to sit?
[ because he knows therion doesn't want to explain, but he's going to have to. ]
[ yeah. he knows, unfortunately, he's going to have to explain. he said he would. and - with darius floating around this city, ostensibly, it's for the better that he just knows, right? just in case. if something goes wrong, jiaoqiu had said, you shouldn't mention me. it's a little late for that, now, here, but it's the same concept.
he's quiet for a long moment, and then sighs, noisily, maybe a little dramatically, and knocks back the contents of the glass. it burns going down, and it's not nearly enough to get him tipsy, but it might take the edge off a little, and that's - just going to have to be what he needs. ]
Might as well.
[ he's decided he's going to go at this with a "well i guess this is fucking happening" kind of attitude because that will make him feel better about it, probably? he gestures with his arm like go on. not that there's. really anywhere to sit, and after a moment, he slips out of jiaoqiu's grasp, glass in hand, and makes his way over to the little living space, kicking the little pile of blankets off the air mattress and dropping one on top that's semi passable as a sheet, if nothing else. as is to be expected, it's kind of flat - sorry about your bones - but it's the only thing he's got.
therion sleeps with his back to the wall, always, and here, he sits the same way - horizontally on his stupid little bed, short legs kicked out in front of him, and leans back, tilting his head back against the wall, which is kind of cold. at least it's bracing. he eyes jiaoqiu from under his fringe as he does, watching to see what he decides to do. ]
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anotha 200 comment thread
it takes time, but the built trust is steadier than it was before.
it's one of those weeks where he's been gone - responding to texts, but otherwise out halfway across the continent, taking time out by the sea just because he can. he sends pictures, occasionally - they're not the best quality, but they're there. sunrises over the ocean. a weird vegetable with a single "?". a stray cat on the side of the road. and by the time he's made his way back to the city, there's a little magnet pull in his chest that tells him to go -- to go home, which is such a fucking scary concept, but he lets it stay subconscious and lets his feet carry him, late night, to the pharmacy. he likes to wander in here, here and there. it's funny, to smile charmingly at the night guard and pretend that he's not the absolute nightmare of a person that he is, and get her tongue wagging when he walks jiaoqiu home. that's what's on his mind as he makes his way through the automatic doors, and then he looks towards the counter.
standing there is a figure he hasn't seen in years. orange hair, slicked back. leather jacket, leaning on the counter and talking casually to jiaoqiu. smile on his face. he's roguish and good at banter - he talks like an insane person, with his stupid fucking slang that therion would recognize from a mile away - and seeing darius in this fucking pharmacy is like taking a bat to a pane of glass, and therion freezes in the doorway, and just. he just stares. his tongue feels like it's made of cotton, feet made of lead, single green eye wide.
darius, of course, is oblivious to this. he's making a legitimate purchase - picking up some prescribed scar cream, something completely unthreatening, completely mundane. Got take care of the ol' stunner if I wanna settle down in this town, eh? with a teasing gesture to his face, to the scar across his nose. going to the doctor. existing.
therion's first instinct is to fucking run. but the thought that he could be trying to rob the store sticks, steal from the store just like therion did, and he squares his shoulders in the doorway even though he's - terrified? angry? bad, awful, everything feels awful, he thinks about how little jiaoqiu cares about his own fucking life and he sucks in a breath and he doesn't move, staring at him, at both of them from the front of the store like a hawk. ]
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still - therion is here. he texts, and jiaoqiu texts back. replies to sunrises with a colorful variety of poems, identifies vegetables, sends pictures of his own - the sunlight peeking through his window in the bedroom, a running shower, a meal he's particularly proud of. there is never time where he can't be pulled out of the void, even sometimes it takes a minute. he takes care of therion when he's sick or injured, he yanks him to bed, he makes him food, and does not talk about his past again. it's not bad. he likes it. he looks forward to whenever he gets home and there's a thief in his bed, and he keeps his phone close at all times. his heart aches when he thinks too much about it. sushang teases him about it, a little - when's your boyfriend coming back around, huh? and he doesn't ever answer.
and then it's now. therion's been somewhere with the ocean, and he's been enjoying the pictures he gets. but it's the middle of his shift, and there's a customer, so. he leaves his phone on the desk, and goes to chat.
this guy is... charming. or rather, he thinks he is. and jiaoqiu can imagine a lot of people are probably into what this guy is selling, but there's something about him that makes his fur stand on end. not in fear, though. his usual placid smile is in place, and therion can see it where he's standing - there's a decidedly annoyed tinge to the way his ears are positioned, something that a stranger would never notice.
the scar in particular, funnily enough, makes him think of therion. ]
New here, hm? [ he says idly, as he checks over the cream. ] Well. This should help.
[ pushes the cream over the counter with that same smile. ]
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there's nothing remotely threatening in what he says. it's even flirty at the end, playful, silly. and - this is a pharmacy. stealing from a pharmacy is not usually the kind of bag that therion and darius would go for when they worked together, either. they stole from people who deserved it, only stole supplies when they needed them themselves. but that was then, and who fucking knows now, who knows what darius does or says or -
- he's forgotten about every other positive thought he had on the way in here. the way he was looking forward to bullying jiaoqiu a little. the dinner that he'd inevitably make, the bickering over food, sitting on his counter to make him nag. it's all gone, replaced with ice cold anxiety and fright and something bitter, so, so bitter. it feels like he's having an out of body experience, staring at darius' back that he's stared at so many times. he's gotten taller. broader. just as in your face, just as loud of a presence as he could always be, taking up all the air in the room or none of it. he used to think that was amazing, how easily he could turn it off to steal. (but never as well as therion could, and that was the crux of the issue.)
the urge to flee battles with the urge to - he can't leave jiaoqiu alone with him, but he can't show his face, either. finally, he looks past him, enough to see jiaoqiu's ears change, and he thinks, distantly, maybe, thank fucking god. he's present, at least, he can tell something's wrong with darius, he's not buying what he's selling. therion needs to do something. he needs to kick his survival instinct back into gear.
but he doesn't, is the thing. he's not sure he's even breathing. he's white knuckled his hands into fists at his side, battling with himself over the past and - the present, at least, the present if not the future, and his eyes dart around the room out of instinct. escape routes. looking for hidden weapons on darius. looking at the cash register, calculating the distance between it and darius. looking to see if he has any allies - and doesn't that fucking sting, which he hates himself for - and seeing no one in here but jiaoqiu, and darius, and... maybe sushang or hanya, but they're like shades in his peripherial right now, barely present. fuck. fuck. ]
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doc, he says. fluff. furball.
jiaoqiu breathes in through his nose deep. exhales through his mouth. and then pats the counter with that same empty, pleasant smile. ]
You're well aware that it isn't that bad, sir. [ tries to inject levity, tries to get away from this. he wants to go rot in the backroom, thanks. ] Apply that cream once a day. Make sure to eat a good meal directly after - it'll help.
[ behind therion, sushang says brightly, "Oh! Hey! Uncle J is gonna be so excited to see you!" ]
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it's a perfectly normal interaction, from a paying if kind of obnoxious customer. it's almost over, and sluggishly, automatically, therion makes himself move, because his brain registers that he's paying and he's leaving and he's going to see him.
therion manages to take one heavy, out of body step to the left, towards the shelving where the bandages are, and then another, and that's when sushang speaks up. it startles him so bad that he almost pulls a knife, but he doesn't, hands shoving harder into his pockets as he turns around to look at her. as darius also turns around, at the noise, glancing over at the front door.
despite how he tends to disappear, therion has never looked - skittish, before. not like this. not in the way that his startled expression is fully on view, and it should give the immediate impression that something is wrong. it's that feral trapped animal look again, the one with its paw stuck in a trap, a cat with a fully bristled tail. he has to do something. he has to say something to sushang, he has to act normal, he's been seen, and he knows he's looking, and he can't just disappear around the corner, not this time.
it lasts for two seconds of stunned silence before he composes himself, hands clenched into fists and shoved into his pockets, and just gives her a sup nod, because he doesn't fucking trust his mouth to say a single word, and he doesn't need darius to recognize him. maybe he won't. he's got his hood up, he's back in town for the first time in a week or so, and it has been years since the last time therion saw darius' face, looking down at him from the edge of a cliff.
there's a long pause on darius' end, too. he just kind of stares, for a moment, forgetting about his change or anything else. ]
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jiaoqiu pushes the change across the counter. ]
Sorry, your luck isn't so grand tonight. [ he says, a bit stiff, even as darius turns. and then, firmly: ] Have a nice night, sir.
[ it's time for you to leave.
sushang is a good girl, so she also startles a little when therion looks at her like he does, and immediately apologizes a little frantically. and waits, like she's expecting therion to say something, but when he doesn't, she kind of nervously laughs and tucks her hair behind her ear.
"Oh, um. Sorry, really. Are you okay? You are here to see him, right? Do you want me to come with you?" she asks, babbling.
jiaoqiu follows darius's gaze, and - stupidly, even after everything - his ears perk up when he sees that purple hood, pleased. all at once, he can hear the clock ticking in the background, sushang's voice, the faint top 40s song playing above them. ]
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darius doesn't even take his change at first - he's squinting at the person in purple across the room. therion can feel his gaze on him, and worse, he can hear sushang like she's talking to him through water - you are here to see him. he's almost banking on darius not recognizing him, now, because he feels his chest absolutely clench at the terrifying idea of him making that connection. he should leave. he should run. he should ignore sushang and turn around, and hightail it directly out of this city, as far away as humanly possible.
but the thing is, in a moment like this, therion's pride wins every time. he doesn't want darius to see him running like a cockroach uncovered from a rock. his shoulders roll backwards, and with his heart pounding and his fists clenched, he regards sushang with a smile. not unusual - he often greets her with a completely fake, friendly persona, just because he thinks its funny to make jiaoqiu cringe. ]
Think I got it. Thanks.
[ though it's definitely not as well practiced as usual. his tongue feels too big for his mouth.
he doesn't move right away, and he doesn't have to. the guy at the counter makes a low noise. his voice picks up a different timber, going from a genuine lack of recognition to something that feels almost... delighted? but the connotation's all wrong. "Well, hang me. Ain't that a coincidence? Therion, that you?"
fuck. he turns, finally, properly, and for the first time in years, he's eye to eye with darius. he's clenching his fists so hard in his pockets that he's drawing blood with his nails, his expression forced into nonchalance despite the fact that he's about to vibrate out of this plane of existence. if you didn't know him, you'd never be able to tell. (and that's the problem, is two people in this room, do.
or. one of them thinks he does, at least.) ] Darius. [ he says, tightly, giving a curt nod.
darius looks him over - up, down. "Gordon Bennet, I thought you'd be dead by now. Ain't grown an inch, have you? This your haunt?"
all therion does is snort, the noise sharp, his voice low, and says: ] No, it's not. [ but it's not enough of an answer. he knows its a mistake, because darius isn't stupid, and the spreading smile of interest on his face is enough to prove it.
in the meantime, jiaoqiu even from a distance has to be able to tell that therion is wildly uncomfortable, that he's about to fucking bolt - it's not an unfamiliar expression. ]
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well. jiaoqiu doesn't like this. his fur stands on end, as he watches darius approach therion, as he sees the clear discomfort in therion's posture. he can hear the conversation clearly, his ears twitching.
sushang watches the two of them for a second, and then glances over at jiaoqiu, who looks like he's about to climb the counter, and puts her hands on her hips.
"Is this guy bothering you?" she asks, completely clueless, just in time for jiaoqiu to very pointedly slam the door to his office behind him. she startles, looking up, as jiaoqiu makes his way over and starts arranging things on the shelves. he doesn't say anything and he doesn't look at either of them, but his presence is loud. for all that jiaoqiu can melt into nothing, there's still a part of him that used to be an advisor during the peak of war. there's a sort of danger to him that wasn't there before - not a rattlesnake, but a brightly colored frog, confident in its place. he doesn't have the muscle to intimidate, but he doesn't need it - there's an abyss inside him waiting to leak out, there's a curdling and rancid fire, made from burnt oil and melted plastic, waiting to strike. this is his pharmacy. it is not an invitation to linger. it's a suggestion to leave.
he knows better than to imply that he knows therion. even if it is obvious - he's practically bristling, protective, putting boxes down aggressively. ]
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don't overreact. don't overreact. don't let him know that you care, don't let him know anything, don't show him anything. darius regards him for a second, and he's about to say something when sushang speaks up, and then the door slams. both therion and darius, in perfect unison, jump - both trained to be just as high alert, both used to living the same shitty life, that just happened two be intertwined, and darius glances behind him as therion stares at the slammed door. ]
...No. [ therion says, after a moment, and the sardonic lace to his tone is something like self-deprecating, something sharp. all edges, all teeth. ] No, he's not.
[ "Nah." says darius in response, too, turning slowly away from the pink figure loudly stacking boxes - staring after jiaoqiu for a moment too long, one that makes the hair on the back of therion's neck stand up - and then slowly turning back. "We go way back - just been a proper minute since I saw this tea leaf scarperin' around. I won't tread on your manor, Therion."
that rankles him even worse - all those feelings of dread curdle violently in his stomach, and he feels the bite of his nails into his palm to keep him here. his manor. his turf. the worst part is he doesn't even know which part he's referring to. it might be the place. it might be jiaoqiu. the assumption either way is a bad sign.
darius adjusts his bag, and doffs an imaginary hat to sushang. "Tell your boss I said hope he's feelin' better, birdie. And, Therion - hah. Maybe you can give me a butcher 'round. Just like old times, eh?" ]
Pass. [ he says, sharply. no, the last thing he wants to do is give darius a fucking tour. the other thief gives him a long look, and then - whistling a tune that's downright jaunty, he heads out of the door with a cheerful ding like he didn't just walk in and send therion's entire life crashing down with a couple of sentences, with his very presence in this room.
and as he's gone, therion doesn't even move, at first, just sort of staring after him, his heart pounding so hard he can feel the blood roaring in his ears. ]
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"Wow, he seems like a jerk," she says, glancing over at jiaoqiu - and there's a pause, before she continues: "... I'm going to go make sure he didn't mess anything up. Call me if you need me, okay?"
and then she wanders off, leaving jiaoqiu and therion alone.
jiaoqiu is not an angry person, but there's something about the way that darius spoke that rankles him. that unsettles him, in a way, because the way he took up the room reminded him so forcefully of a certain wolf, big and cocky and ruthless. so - he's not angry. he's not scared, and he doesn't even think twice about the way darius looked him over like a piece of meat, or some sort of tool. he's defensive, ready to bite. it's a concentrated effort to chill himself out before he turns to therion entirely.
gently, but firmly: ]
Therion.
[ it's okay. he's gone. ]
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it's the sound of his own name that finally snaps him out of it. his pupils dart from the door to jiaoqiu, back to the door - he takes a deep breath, and his eyes snap back to jiaoqiu standing beside him. he thinks about that smile on darius' face when he said, your manor. he feels like he's going to jitter out of his skin, like a piece of broken glass, like static, like he's moving at lightspeed and through molasses all at the same time. ]
What. [ what, because that's all he can say. it's all therion can manage, at first, forced flat, forced nonchalant and failing. forced unaffected, and failing. ]
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[ he says, in that same tone. he doesn't reach out, because therion looks like he's going to climb the walls, or stab something, or both. he's not afraid, he just doesn't want to make it worse. jiaoqiu, of all people, can understand a panic response like this, even if he doesn't exactly get why it's happening. doesn't matter. the first step is to get him somewhere safe. ]
Will you come home with me?
[ it is less of a question and more like, we should leave. ]
Perhaps we can stop to eat somewhere first.
[ so they can make sure they're not being followed. he's leaving it up to therion, but he's very clearly not going anywhere. ]
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the first comment - because it's not a question, he almost opens his mouth and says something stupid, but jiaoqiu suggests something else and it settles, because. yeah. yeah, yeah, the last fucking thing he wants is for someone to follow him. he doubts darius himself would, but he can't imagine he's completely by himself. (not like therion is, anyway, and the idea makes him rankle even worse, makes his expression look thunderous, but he reaches up and scrubs at his face with one hand. ]
Yeah. [ another harsh inhale, exhale. ] You pick.
[ fucking bolting is not going to help, even though he kind of wants out of this city let alone out of this building, but he's not going to let this affect him that much, because that pisses him off too. this shouldn't bother him that much. why the fuck does this still bother him that much? why does he even care? god, that's so annoying - he rubs his face again, one handed, and shakes his head. ] Whatever.
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[ he has a lot of little places around town that he likes. the food is important - it's normal. it's routine, and it is in public, where nobody can attack them without causing a scene. they can find a little cart somewhere. sit outside, in view of people, not enclosed. he heads back into the office briefly to grab his things, and then comes back to therion. ]
May I touch you? Yes or no, not whatever.
[ he just wants to put his hand on therion's back, to lead him - to connect them, a little. the response therion is having to this encounter is worrying, and he's not entirely sure how to help, but he can be steady. at least his instincts are still somewhat sharp, he thinks idly. he knew that dude was an ass.
either way, he'll lead him out of the pharmacy, ears perked and alert. nothing is going to sneak up on them. ]
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when jiaoqiu comes back out, he's jittering in place, hands still in his pockets, and when he asks him a question -- something just occurs to him like, a second too late, and though jiaoqiu so nicely asks it, therion reaches out and grabs onto him, around the wrist, smearing blood from his palm across his sleeve or his skin, and then starts pulling. he just pulls jiaoqiu away, into the closest little dark area he can find, and turns to face him, and in a low, urgent voice, just - ]
Check your pockets. Did he threaten you?
[ it's intense, his eyes just as intense, darting over jiaoqiu, over the alleyway, above their heads, making sure there is nothing here and no one else here, checking over jiaoqiu, watching him with a sort of urgency and panic that is unmistakable. ]
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he does not bother looking in his pockets. ]
No. He flirted with me, poorly.
[ jiaoqiu says, with a hint of disgust. he presses his sleeve to whatever the blood came from, ear flicking violently. and then he tries to catch therion's gaze, expression softening. ]
I'm fine, Therion. I mean that. Take a breath.
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in the meantime, the sharp, rapid fire questions continue, ignoring him. ]
Was there any medicine on the counter? Did you check the cash register?
[ a tremor quakes through his hands, just once, and therion bites back a half growl of frustration. he doesn't yank his hand out of jiaoqiu's grip, but he does pull the other one away from his pockets once he's satisfied. good. he's fine. it's fine. it's -] You wouldn't have any idea if you weren't.
[ fine. or at least, he sure as hell wouldn't have any idea that he got pickpocketed. they were both good at it, was the thing - therion was always better, which was the crux of the issue, but he can only imagine how darius has improved in the many years that have passed.
belatedly, take a breath registers, and he does, but no one would call it anything near relaxing. therion brings his free hand up and scrubs it over his face again, leaving a little blood on his cheek, and then he looks around again, like he's checking their surroundings. ]
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still, he gets it. he lets therion dig around in his pockets, with a huff. ]
I didn't check the cash register. The only medicine was his own.
[ calmly. he's measured, gently wiping the blood from therion's palm. a beat, and then he pushes therion's sleeve up his arm and presses his fingers to therion's pulse. not for any medical reason, just to say that he's here. there's no panic or fear in him, just... concern, mostly, and it shows on his face. ]
I'm a healer. I know very well when there's something wrong with me. Therion.
[ look at him. telegraphed, very clear where he's reaching, jiaoqiu tilts therion's face away from frantically looking around, and directs his gaze to jiaoqiu's. he wipes the blood from his cheek, adjusts therion's hair so it's safely over his ruined eye, his own gold eyes soft and worried. ]
Explain, please.
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the feeling of his pulse cements it - it is going rabbit fast, to the point that it's certainly unhealthy, and it hasn't calmed down for a second since they left the store, and it might not for hours. he feels so wildly on edge, like a prey animal in a predator's territory, and that makes him feel even worse. the twin feelings of anxious awful dread and fury that it's still bothering him this much, that he can't just fucking shake this off.
the telegraphed movement stops him from looking around, even though he's clearly still incredibly tense. he doesn't flinch or anything, but he's holding himself unnaturally still, unnaturally fine, he's fine, he's fine. explain, jiaoqiu says. he doesn't even know where to start. the worry in his eyes feels like he's breathing in cold air again, bracing and unfamiliar and he knows how honest it is. the little gesture like he sets his armor back into place, all honest, too.
a few months ago, he would've shoved this away. no, no thank you, no i won't, goodbye forever. at this point, though - therion says, gruffly, finally: ]
Not here.
[ not - this close to the pharmacy. not in public. he pulls away a little, looks down and then back. ] Come on.
[ and he doesn't offer much explanation beyond that, because he steps back, and then he steps out to the edge of the alleyway, and then he waits. a nonverbal "follow me" - though therion doesn't ever let jiaoqiu out of his peripherial, really, but if he'll follow, they can go. ]
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but he lets therion call the shots. because - therion doesn't turn him down. doesn't run. he trusts him, and it's such a relief. it makes his whole body ache with it. he thinks about saying thank you. he doesn't, but it's clear in his expression.
he'll step in if it seems like therion leading is actually going to hurt him, but for now, jiaoqiu is obedient and calm. a rock, a lighthouse. he lets therion go, brushing his hand down therion's back in a comforting gesture as he turns. and then he follows. ]
I'm with you.
[ he says, easily enough. just a reminder. he's not going anywhere but to wherever therion is taking him. ]
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and. well, they're not going to the nice warm apartment. that's for sure. in fact, therion leads the way briskly, constantly looking back and over his shoulder, slipping through the roughshod district of town. they take a path that twists and turns, clearly the long, long way around. for blocks, for a while - ten, fifteen, twenty, nearly thirty minutes of what would be a meandering, winding stroll were it not laced with his own anxiety. it probably does look a little sketchy to be doing this, but if jiaoqiu trusts him for some fucking reason, they come back out into a nicer part of town, past many pretty nice houses, and eventually, to a train station, and beyond that, to a dilapidated old building that might be an apartment complex, or like, maybe a condemned hotel. but therion pushes the back door of this building open with a flick of his wrist and holds it for jiaoqiu, until the door shuts with a final click. he looks up, around, checks his surroundings, and then leads him up (sorry) a lot of stairs.
however, eventually, down a dingy hallway with barely working lights and musty old carpet, he stops at a door and produces - a key, and pops the door open.
it's an apartment. it's. not great? it's really not great. jiaoqiu's might be bland, but it's a marked improvement over this little place, which consists of a tiny kitchenette, what amounts to a nest of blankets and a couple of pillows settled onto what looks like an air mattress, and a backpack of some kind leaning against a wall, a shitty bathroom with a tiny shower, and... that's about it. it's drafty as hell in here, but after some fiddling, therion flicks on a buzzy, old light and there's the click-click-click of three deadbolts, and he leans against the door and sighs.
he feels like he needs - god. a drink, that sounds fucking great, and without any other word, he pushes off the door and goes to the tiny kitchen cabinets and out of nowhere pulls out a really fucking nice bottle of whiskey and a couple of cups.
but talk about a sign of trust. this is his safehouse - the tiny, shitty place he used to spend time the most when he was in this town. his voice is low, gravel, but jiaoqiu can see that his tension level's come down a peg or two just by being here. ]
Shouldn't have been followed. [ a pause. and then a little more normal, a little more dryly; ] Hope you're not expecting a lot of hospitality.
[ outside, the sound of a train rumbling in the distance can be heard - as it passes by, it rattles the floor and walls of this apartment, indicating exactly why it's the way it is. therion holds still until it passes, and then pops the top off of the fancy booze and goes to pour himself a glass. ]
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jiaoqiu follows him easily enough, though by the end of it, especially when they have to go up a lot of stairs, he's out of breath. he is not built for a lot of physical activity - he takes public transit to work, and the elevator to his apartment. he's not going to die when they reach the hallway, but he looks like he's worn out, at the very least. especially in the cold, especially after a long shift. he doesn't complain, but his tail droops behind him and he's panting. lame.
of course, then therion lets them inside, and jiaoqiu forgets about being tired.
the inside of the apartment - the whole building, really - pains him. he's not unused to places like this, and he's by no means prissy about having to stay in a rundown building - he slept in tents for a good part of his life, in the mud, on the battlefield. it's just that thinking about therion being camped out here, in a place that barely counts as shelter... therion, curling up next to him in the warmth of jiaoqiu's bed, searching for heat, it's all very present in his mind. he looks over the flickering light, the blanket nest. the draft makes him shiver, his ears pinning back. the train makes him jump a bit, if only because he's not expecting it.
this probably isn't the first nest therion's had to stay in, jiaoqiu thinks.
and then therion pours himself a glass of whiskey, and jiaoqiu wanders after him and carefully slips his arms around him from behind. he hugs him, burying his face against therion's neck, and just stays there, eyes closed. jiaoqiu doesn't have a lot of body heat naturally, but he tries to give over some, anyway.
for right now he doesn't answer the snark, he's just. glad to see him, and very much wanting to Take Care. ]
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it doesn't even really occur to him to be ashamed about the condition of this place, at least right now. it's safe - it's the first feeling of safety that he's had since he walked into that pharmacy, actually, because he knows they weren't followed, and he knows that if for some fucking reason someone tries to find him now, they'll just go to this place, which is as disposable as any other place he rests his head. jiaoqiu's gut feeling is correct - he's had many of these, in many different cities. early in his life, they were shared, but for the past few years, it's just been him in these little safehouses, alone, just the way he likes it. (or pretends to, at least.) this one's one of the better ones - it doesn't smell particularly terrible, and despite the train rattling by at all hours, he's gotten used to it, and he knows its hard to find, so it's one of the safest ones he's ever stayed in.
he still has to explain to jiaoqiu what the actual fuck is going on, but he's pretty sure he'll be able to do it better once he's calmed his nerves down, and despite not really being much of a drinker - he is way too paranoid for that - this should at least take the edge off. he must be clearly out of it, because he doesn't even really register that jiaoqiu is behind him (or maybe he just knows that he's safe) until he's right there, and though he jumps a little, it's not as bad as it could be.
he doesn't stop him. and in fact, after a very, very long beat, he just exhales out and leans a tiny bit into it. he doesn't want to explain, is the thing, and he feels shitty and exhausted just from one stupid fucking interaction, and that annoys him even worse. ugh.
just. ugh. he just holds the glass, and for a second, closes his eyes. ]
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gently, he pets therion's side with his hand, an absent little motion. it's more for himself than it is for therion, but he imagines it won't hurt. his arms are low, giving therion room to drink if he wants to, full range of movement, but he's not letting go.
therion's less tense, he can tell, but not nearly enough, and jiaoqiu thinks about the way his pulse was going so fast he was in danger of a heart attack, and just hugs him a little more tightly. there's a lot of trust here, and he does see it. the way that therion doesn't hit him or push him away out of instinct from coming up behind him, the way he leans into it. the way he brought jiaoqiu here at all.
a sigh, after a long moment, and then: ]
Do you want to sit?
[ because he knows therion doesn't want to explain, but he's going to have to. ]
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he's quiet for a long moment, and then sighs, noisily, maybe a little dramatically, and knocks back the contents of the glass. it burns going down, and it's not nearly enough to get him tipsy, but it might take the edge off a little, and that's - just going to have to be what he needs. ]
Might as well.
[ he's decided he's going to go at this with a "well i guess this is fucking happening" kind of attitude because that will make him feel better about it, probably? he gestures with his arm like go on. not that there's. really anywhere to sit, and after a moment, he slips out of jiaoqiu's grasp, glass in hand, and makes his way over to the little living space, kicking the little pile of blankets off the air mattress and dropping one on top that's semi passable as a sheet, if nothing else. as is to be expected, it's kind of flat - sorry about your bones - but it's the only thing he's got.
therion sleeps with his back to the wall, always, and here, he sits the same way - horizontally on his stupid little bed, short legs kicked out in front of him, and leans back, tilting his head back against the wall, which is kind of cold. at least it's bracing. he eyes jiaoqiu from under his fringe as he does, watching to see what he decides to do. ]
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